"Hey lard-fat! Those hard arteries don't stop bullets, do they?"
—The Scout, Team Fortress 2
"At times it's hard to swallow scenes like that found in one episode where Conrad, already shot in the knee, no less, is able to elude lithe bad guy Tom Skerritt, who even uses a truck in pursuit of the fat P.I. on foot. And yet, Conrad's weight works in favor of the show in some ways. If the villains can beat up big William Conrad, they really must be something. Indeed, poor Cannon is shot in many episodes and set afire at least once. He is a pretty big target, after all."
"Nice try, but the bullet was absorbed by my spare tire!"
— Detective Sergeant Bargearse, Bargearse
"You're carrying some extra weight around your midsection. You won't look as good in a swimsuit, but it's probably good in terms of shock absorption."
— Flavor Text for "A Few Extra Pounds", Kingdom of Loathing
"Every one of his body's vulnerable spots are so padded, my strongest blows do not faze him!"
This fight also demonstrated the main disadvantage to being a massive sumo fighter: You might be immune to all blubber-targeted attacks, but while you're circling around very slowly, your enemies are free to perform trial-and-error experiments on your brain to see which attack turns it off.
Hunting guides will still tell you that the minimum round to equip yourself with to ward off a charging bear is the 44 Magnum. Bears are just so huge, and also polar bears specifically, just have so much fat that it almost acts as kind of a lardy type of armor and they also have a decently thick coat of fur on top of that.
"I'm a bit on the chunky side, so I've got a natural layer of defense, if you know what I mean."
—Elegg, Goddess of Victory: NIKKE
