"I've always stayed on the sidelines. Getting the pleasure vicariously. It's not wholly satisfactory, but then of course, no lives are, and you know what I think about indiscriminate sex and promiscuous trade. I think it's the beginning of a long, long road to despair.
— Kenneth Williams, on celibacy
"The quote, like opportunity, food and love, has got to come at the right moment. Blurted out, it can send your ego round your ankles."
— Kenneth Williams, on comic timing
People need to be peppered or even outraged occasionally. Our national comedy and drama is packed with earthy familiarity and honest vulgarity.
— Kenneth Williams, on smut in comedy
My father and I didnt get on. He was sport-mad and wanted a son who enjoyed that. He also liked to go to the pub for a pint of bitter. When I was old enough to go with him, I asked for a sweet sherry. He was shocked and said, You namby-pamby sod.