"Wow. It's like the soul crushing pointlessness of seventh grade."
Skinner: (To TJ, dressed as a punk) Hello, son! I notice you're not lined up with the other students!
Skinner: Well, that's fairly disturbing...
Prickly: W-well that's just TJ Detweiler, sir! He's just joking around! (shoves TJ aside, brings Gretchen forward) Ahhh, here's the intelligent and courteous Gretchen Grundler! Say hello to the very important man, Gretchen!
Gretchen: (dressed as a Goth) Greetings are depressing. Life is pointless. Leave me now to grapple with my own irrelevance as I confer to young adulthood... Man!
Vince: (desperately grabs Prickly) I know I gotta make weight, but I can't live on Ginseng and egg whites forever!!
Mikey: (Covered in zits) I'm breaking out!!! Yet another sock hop spent alone with my regrets...
Gus: (blandly) I have father issues.
Skinner: By Jove, Prickly! These are just the types of problems you'll be encountering in Middle School! It's the perfect opportunity for you to show off your one-on-one counseling skills.
Prickly: Oh...well, certainly, sir! (To TJ) You, back off! (To Gretchen) You, cheer up! (To Vince) You, eat something! (To Mikey) You, cut back on the fried foods! (To Gus) You, mow the lawn!
Spinelli: (Dressed up as a cute Valley Girl) You are so dreamy!
Prickly: (backs off with a yelp) Get a hamster!
Skinner: Prickly! What decisive handling on those children's strange problems!