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Quotes / JonTron

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"Fool me once - I'm mad. Fool me twice - How could you? Fool me three times - You're officially that guy, okay? You know him, you know the one. You go to the bar and he's like, 'This suit is, uh, officially it's a Giorgio Armani, ech my dad knows him!' FUCK YOU! I AAAAAAAAAAIIIIIN'T HAVIN' THAT SHIT!"
In the "Nightshade" episode

"Good God, China! All about symbols! Couldn't even make the alphabet!"
In the "Titenic" episodecontext 

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"Aw, grommet. I-I used to say it all the time back in Cali. You couldn't stop me saying this word! Grommet this! Grommet that! THE FUCK does grommet mea-" note 
In the "California Games" episodecontext 

"Hi Barbie. I miss you. It's so quiet after you die. There's nothing. But the voices...they never stop. (beat) See you in an hour!"
In the "Barbie Games" episodecontext 

"Man, 1910 times were scaaaary!"
In the "Titenic" episode

"Let's move on to foot bag! Foot...bag. Well, that's my favorite Cali sport, I dunno about you. Whaddaya like, uh, STREET HOCK?"
In the "California Games" episode

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"Subject, Takeshi Kitano, otherwise known as Beat Takeshi, Japanese film director, comedian, singer, actor, author, screenwriter, poet, painter - okay what wasn't this guy? And one time, video game designer. Yeah, you hear that? One time, 'cause one time is all he needed. After that, the sea floor split open and swallowed the Caribbean, earthquakes ravaged the west coast of America, and goblins were still really, really scary! Ew! I don't like 'em! I don't like goblins! UAAAAAAAAAAAAA-
In the "Takeshi's Challenge" episode

"Cars...? Cars?! CAAAAAAARS!!!!! AND IIIIIIIIIHOLY SHIT!—WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOUICAN'TBELIEVEYOUDIDTHISTOMEGODDAMMITHOWCOULDYOUDOTHISTOME?!"
Jon's reaction to Banjo-Kazooie: Nuts & Bolts having cars

"You control both characters here, the one throwing the disk and the one catching it. So this is a game where you play catch..with yourself? Hey guys, chances are if I'm playing this in the 80s, I'm probably already a fat nerdy kid in his basement alone without friends... You tryin' to drive the point home or something?"
In the "California Games" episodecontext 

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"Good one, Bubsy! Hey, wanna be a cast member on Sat-purr-day Night Live? I know you'll make the MEOWST OF IT! [Suddenly distant] I'm leavin' ya, Bubsy!"
In the "Bubsy" episode

"It...it's awful. IT'S ALL FUCKING AWFUL! ALL OF IT! ALL OF IT! EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM SUCKS!"
In the "Plug and Play Consoles" episode

" FISH FACE ON LEGS! Yep, yep, yuuuuuup!"

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