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Quotes / JoJo's Bizarre Adventure

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"Reading Jojo is kind of like those pretend fights you had when you were younger. You know the ones where you said something like "I shot you! You're dead!" But then your friend said "Nuh-uh, I have a diamond bullet proof vest!" To which you retort, "Well I shot you with a diamond bullet-proof vest piercing bullet!" and you just went back and forth like that until you just couldn't top the other kid."
An Anonymous 4chan user describing the series.

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     Phantom Blood 

Jonathan Joestar

"Leave me alone! Go away! I didn't attack them for your sake! I want to be a true gentleman! You were a Damsel in Distress, a true gentleman needs to be brave enough to go into a fight he know he'll lose. But one day... I'll be strong enough to win..."
—His reasoning to save Erina Pendleton, his future wife, in their first meeting.

"NANI WO SURUNDA!? YURUSAN!" (In English "What are you doing!? Unforgivable!")

—Jonathan while beating the shit out of Dio

"(Even Speedwagon is afraid!!)"
—Jonathan's line of thought when looking at a terrified Speedwagon on Dio's first vampirism (Manga only)

—Jonathan melting Bruford's sword with Hamon.

"My heart resonates... heat enough to burn... My Blood is razor sharp! SUNLIGHT YELLOW OVERDRIVE!"
—Jonathan defeating Bruford

"I'm back from hell, Dio!"
—Jonathan to Dio

Dio Brando

"You're ugly and disgusting. You drove mother to an early death. You're the worst father ever! You want me to be rich? Oh, yes... And I will use any means necessary for that... starting with this Joestar family! Trash! *spits on Dario's gravestone* No one will bring me down..."
—His thoughts about his father and his early Establishing Character Moment.

"Listen up, JoJo, I might be your guest, but I'm not taking any lip from you. I like being the first, I'm number one! No one looks down their nose at me! Also another thing, I hate dogs. They don't scare me, I just can't stand their bootlicking towards humans. So keep your dumb mutt Danny away from me, OK?"
—Making it clear that he plans to ruin JoJo's life, and why he kicked the dog before.

"Have you ever kissed JoJo before? Guess not... That means your first kiss wasn't with JoJo! It was with me, Dio!"
—Dio after stealing Erina's Sacred First Kiss

"JoJo, being a human means having limits. I've learned something... The more carefully you scheme, the more unexpected events come along. As long as you're human... (...) I REJECT MY HUMANITY, JOJO!"
—Dio before becoming a Vampire

—To Jonathan while leaving him to fall in fire

—Anytime someone proving too weak attacks him, before brutalizing them

"I don't know; how many loaves of bread have you eaten in your lifetime?"
—His response to being asked what his kill count is

"No matter how you struggle, there are always limits of what a human can do. The Hamon training is useless! Useless! Useless! Useless! Useless! Useless! USELESS!! Can a monkey stand against a human!? Compared to me, Dio, you are but a monkey, JoJo!!"
—The very first utterance of "Muda muda muda muda muda!!/Useless useless useless useless useless!!" (Also the English translation of one of his quirky phrases "MONKEY NAN DA YO")

"JoJo! Let me go! Release me! Think of what we can achieve! You'd like a taste of eternity, would you not?! I can heal your wounds! You and Erina can live together, forever! JOJO!, it's too late...he's dead..."
—Dio's last dialogue in Phantom Blood

Robert .E.O. Speedwagon

"Your upbringing made you a villain, you say? It didn't!!...You've been evil since your birth!"
—To Dio

"You're wrong! All that was good in that man, he passed it along to Jonathan, every bit of it! You can be sure JoJo's gonna live an upright life, using what his father gave him. Rich folks are rubbish. Watching 'em flounce around, I wanna throw the whole lot of them into the Thames! But not the Joestars. They're heroic and merciful and, just... the whole damn lot of them are giants among men!"
—On the death of George Joestar and someone saying that the kindness of George ended that day.

"I wasn't cut for that job anyway. I'll come back later. Speedwagon withdraws coolly."
—On seeing Jonathan already being tended by Erina

     Battle Tendency 

Joseph Joestar

"You made the wrong move, you stupid pig!"
—After punching said cop in the face while he was giving his answer'')

"Your next line is X/Next you'll say X!"
—Joseph's Catchphrase. X being whatever his opponents are going to say next.

"What did you say? Depending on your answer, I may have to kick your ass!"
—Joseph to a mobster

"I brought tequila with me. Is it OK if I pass here?? Hmmhmm? (....) Damn it, my self-esteem took a blow... At least this uniform is less suspicious."
—Joseph, crossdressing, towards German soldiers. And once he's off the guise.

"Happy! Joy! Nice to meetcha!"
—Joseph in his attempts to talk to Santana

"Well, if I'm gonna be sitting around for 30 minutes, I've got nothing better to do. Best place to wait is right in front of Lisa Lisa's door! And if my eye just happens to wander near the keyhole.... Huh!? (peeks at naked Lisa Lisa) Hoh hoh hoh hoh hooooooooohhh!! NIIIIIIICE!"
—Joseph peeking at Lisa Lisa, his mom

"OH NO!"
— Another Catchphrase

After finding out where Caesar's body was.

One last all-or-nothing gambit! (...) Yeah! It's my final move! (...) Listen up! This is something you're going to have to do for yourself! (...) Hmmmmhmmmmhmmmhmmm.... RUN FOR YOUR LIIIIIIIVES!
— To Smokey, Speedwagon, and Stroheim on his plan to deal with the newly empowered Kars.

Rudol von Stroheim

—To Speedwagon

I'm a proud servant of the German Army! I am prepared to do my duty! I would proudly give a few legs for the sake of the Fatherland! Do it now, Joestar!
—To Joseph, showcasing a positive Patriotic Fervor to get his leg cut off and defeat Santana.

—To Kars before firing his eye laser at him


"Awaken my masters!"
—Wamuu freeing Kars and Esidsi

     Stardust Crusaders 
Jotaro: "Shut up! Get outta my face, you bitch!"
Holly Kujo: "Okay!~"
— Jotaro's Establishing Character Moment with his mother

DIO: "Oh? You're approaching me? Instead of running away, you come right to me? Even though your grandfather, Joseph, told you the secret of The World, like an exam student scrambling to finish the problems on an exam until the last moments before the chime?"
Jotaro: "I can't beat the shit out of you without getting closer."

Jotaro Kujo

"Yare Yare Daze"
—Jotaro's Catchphrase. (Japanese for "Good grief", "Gimme a break", or "Well, well")

"Look, no one ever said Jotaro Kujo was a nice guy. I beat the crap out of people, more than I have to. Some are even still in the hospital. I've had idiot teachers who like to talk big, so I taught them a lesson, and they never came back to class. If I go to a restaurant and the food's bad, I make it a policy to stiff 'em with the bill. But, even a bastard like me... can spot true evil when he sees it! True evil are those who use the weak for their own gain, and crush them underfoot when they're through! Especially an innocent woman! And that is exactly what you've done, isn't it!? And your Stand gets to hide from the victim, the law, and the consequences! That's why... I will judge you myself!"
—To Kakyoin, "Who Will Be the Judge!?"

"Your Stand may be invincible, but you sure as hell aren't! If I destroy you, then your Stand dies too. Do you understand? Listen, I've had it up to here with that cocky-ass mouth of yours, alright? I just happen to be the type of guy who takes these things to heart!"
— To Rubber Soul, followed with a punch in the face.

"Just shut up already. I have nothing more to say to you. You're way too pathetic... I'm done wasting my breath."
— Final words to Rubber Soul before complete, final beatdown.

"Good grief. You truly are the lowest scum in history. You can't pay back what you owe... with money!"
— To Steely Dan when he tries to bribe him to not beat him up.

—To a battered Steely Dan.

"Good grief. Don't underestimate me because I'm a kid."
—To Alessi after he turned Jotaro into a kid and got punched in the face by him.

"Wait, I still have my rights to raise." (...) "I raise you my mother's soul!" (...) "I came to Egypt to save my mother, so if I wager her soul, she won't mind. But, D'Arby, you'll have to match my mother's soul. For that... I'll have you tell me the secret of Dio's Stand!" (...) "So, do you call or fold!? Let's hear you say it out loud, D'Arby!!"
—Extreme bluffing against Daniel J. D'Arby to the point the latter shut down without any beating.

"You want to know whether I'll forgive you, why don't you just do what you do best and read my mind?" (NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!) "Answer this. Will I hit you with my right fist, or decide to deck you with my left? I'd love to know." (Well, since you're asking, you'll use... your right one? ) (NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!) (Then... your left?) (NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!) (You're... not going to use both, are you!?'') (YES! YES! YES! YES! YES!!)
—The final conversation against Terrence T. D'Arby (continued in Joseph's section)

"If this were the Wild West, the hero would say "It's High Noon." Now get off the ground and draw your piece, DIO. You're getting one shot."

"There's a reason you lost, DIO. One simple reason... You pissed me off."
—After finally defeating DIO for good.

Joseph Joestar

—Joseph's Catchphrase

—Joseph's other Catchphrase

—Joseph's other, other Catchphrase

"Jotaro! How dare you talk to your mother that way! And Holly, stop smiling at him, you'll only encourage it!"
—Joseph trying to stabilize his daughter and grandson's relationship

"Well, I guess now you can see the difference in our fighting experience. Once your opponent started boasting their victory, they've already lost! This is how Joseph Joestar does things! I guess I just get better with age. And! A Stand can only be defeated by a Stand! Your next line is, 'Stop, anything but that!'"
—Joseph after completely outsmarting The Empress and giving a Call-Back to his younger self's habit.

Joseph: "Yes, yes, yes, oh my god!"
—The final conversation with Terrence

Joseph: "My name is Joseph Joestar! I was born in September 27 1920. My wife's name is Suzi Q. I like to read comic books!"
Jotaro: "Who was the female lead in the 1981 film Tarzan the Ape Man?"
Joseph: "Bo Derek!"
Jotaro: "Who sang Eat It, the parody of Beat It?"
Joseph: "Al Yankovic!"
Jotaro: "Good grief... I guess only you would know useless things like that..."
— After being revived and showing off his trivial knowledge

Muhammad Avdol

—To Polnareff

— Avdol saving Polnareff from Cameo’s Judgment.

"Cameo of the judgement card, was it? I’ll give you hell. HELL 2 U!"

"”Mohammed Avdol is alive.” This is bad news. Shouldn’t you hurry and tell DIO and your other Stand user buddies about it?"
— To Cameo

"This isn't within my line of image! Disasters in the bathroom is Polnareff's thing!"
—While escaping women's bathroom for a sneaking mission gone wrong.


Noriaki Kakyoin

"JoJo's mother, Ms. Holly, is a woman capable of calming the hearts of others. People feel at ease around her. This may sound awkward... but if I were to fall in love, I'd like it to be with someone like her. I would give my all for her. And I would want to always see her warm, happy smile."
—His oath to save Holly, incidentally marking him as a MILF hunter amongst fans.

"I'm not sure myself of why I want to go... but you awakened me. That's all."
—To Jotaro, on why he'd join the group against DIO

—Kakyoin sucking on a cherry — both himself and Rubber Soul.

—Hierophant Green's signature move

"Now, it's time for you punishment, baby."
—Kakyoin to Death 13

"Polnareff, that's not what you say here. When taking revenge, you shouldn't say, "Why, you..." You say this. My name is Noriaki Kakyoin. To avenge my friend, Avdol, and so that the soul of my friend Polnareff's sister may rest in peace, I will have you pay with your life."
—Kakyoin to J. Geil

"I always thought living in a big city would mean meeting a lot of people. But how many people meet others that they can truly understand, and who truly understand them? I probably won't ever find someone who sees me for who I am. Because I don't have a single friend that can see my Hierophant Green."

Jean Pierre Polnareff

"Guys like him get in the way, that’s why I said I’d do this myself! It really annoys me... having people up and die on me... it just annoys me so much!"
To Kakyoin about Avdol’s first death

"You're really good at crying, J. Geil. Well, you're about to fall down to Hell, sobbing the whole way down. But there's one thing I can't rely on the guardians of Hell to do for me. And that's... To turn you into a pincushion!"

"Aww, man. And I have one hand signal I'm ready to show..." (shows the hand signal) (Kakyoin: "Your panties are showing.") "YEAH!!"
—In a nearly sinking submarine, followed with a silly handshake.


—Iggy after saving a child from Pet Shop


—or, in English, "The World! Time is stopped!"

— The whole ROAD ROLLER scene, on Dio's POV

'' "'He's... mocking me! But Jotaro,. Leaving a bad taste in your mouth, or living your life without regrets. That reasoning is as compelling as rat shit in the bathroom and it will be your demise! I, Dio, have no such thoughts. Within my mind but one simple thought. Just one! To be victorious and rule! That is all. That is all I need to feel satisfaction! How I do it doesn't matter!
— DIO's last thoughts near the end of his fight with Jotaro.


Senator Philips

"W-who the hell are you!? Do you think you're going to get a away with this!? (to himself'') No, of course he won't. No one could get away with doing this to me. I graduated high school and college at the top of my class! I was captain of my college wrestling team! Even after I graduated, I was respected and revered! That's how I became a politician! I have a villa on a thousand acres in Hawaii! I married a beautiful model who is 25 years younger than me! I pay 50 times more in taxes than ordinary people! I've defeated every enemy I've faced! I'll eventually become President! I am Senator Philips!
—To DIO after getting his front teeth ripped out by him

     Diamond Is Unbreakable 

Josuke Higashikata

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU JUST SAY ABOUT MY HAIR?! (...) I will not forgive anyone who insults my hair, no matter who he is! Did you just say my hair looks like Sazae-san's!?"
— Josuke's to-go Catchphrase whenever someone insults his pompadour.

— Josuke's other Catchphrase.

"The way I see it, if I make you well again, and THEN kick your ass, I won't be "bullying the weak" then, now will I?"
— To Yuya Fungami after healing him and before beating the shit out of him

"I feel utterly refreshed! Like I put on a new pair of underwear on New Years day!"
— To Yuya Fungami after beating the shit out of him

"I'm gonna 'fix' that spaghetti and reduce it to its original ingredients!"
— Almost immediately after punching Tonio's spaghetti when it had mysteriously fixed Okuyasu's broken tooth.

" No matter how you look at it, I look like a normal high school student, so why would you ask me to help?"
— Josuke to a wounded Kira.

Koichi Hirose

" Why do I have to regretfully run away in fear of a murderer like "Please, god, help me"!? Shouldn't it be the other way around!? Why do I think that I'd rather be looking for a public restroom while I have diarrhoea if I could only get out of this situation safely!? Isn't something wrong!? The one who should be running away in fear... is you, murderer!"
— Koichi fighting Sheer Heart Attack

Jotaro Kujo

"Nice watch. I'm going to break it so you can never tell time again. Your face, that is."
— Jotaro to Yoshikage Kira

"Good freaking grief, now that I can see it up close, your watch looks like crap. But you won't have to worry about that. After all, I'm about to make it look even worse. Your face, that is."
— Jotaro to Yoshikage Kira, moments before unleashing a No-Holds-Barred Beatdown rivaled only by the one delivered to Steely Dan.

Rohan Kishibe

"If... If I call him, w-will you... spare my life?" (...) "But I refuse. One of the things I, Rohan Kishibe, like the most is to find someone who thinks they're some hot shit, and say 'No' right to their faces."
— While being held by Highway Star and given a way to get rid of him by handing him to Josuke.

"DO YOU THINK THAT I, ROHAN KISHIBE, DRAW MANGA FOR MONEY AND FAME!? I draw comics because I want to be read! That's the one and only reason. I couldn't care less about anything else!"
— Rohan to Koichi when he questioned his motives for attacking him.

"You may think that hairstyle is cool, but it doesn't suit you at all! It's lame!"
— Rohan insulting Josuke's hair to get him susceptible to Heaven's Door.

Yoshikage Kira

"What a beautiful Duwang! (chew) There must be no other place as pretty as this town. This feels like a picnic."
— While contemplating the beauty of Morioh in the infamous Duwang Scanslations

"PHEWWW~ When I was a kid... you know Leonardo da Vinci's Mona Lisa, right...? I saw it in an art book. When I saw Mona Lisa's hands folded by her knee... how do I say this...? It's a bit crude, but... I got... a BONER."
— While discussing how he discovered his hand fetish.

"When I was a kid, I saw Mona Lisa from my garmmar school art book. The first time I saw her, with hands on her knee... how do I say this... I had a boner..."
— The above line as it appears in the Duwang Scanslations (surprisingly enough, it's rather accurate to the Japanese version [save for the "garmmar" typo])

"I want to show that woman the true Yoshikage Kira. I want her to hear how I feel deep inside. That I want to take your slender neck into these hands and strangle you to death."
— Kira fighting against his impulses to adjust to his new life as Kosaku Kawajiri

"My name is Yoshikage Kira. I'm 33 years old. My house is in the northeast section of Morioh, where all the villas are, and I am not married. I work as an employee for the Kame Yu department stores, and I get home every day by 8 PM at the latest. I don't smoke, but I occasionally drink. I'm in bed by 11 PM, and make sure I get eight hours of sleep, no matter what. After having a glass of warm milk and doing about twenty minutes of stretches before going to bed, I usually have no problems sleeping until morning. Just like a baby, I wake up without any fatigue or stress in the morning. I was told there were no issues at my last check-up. I'm trying to explain that I'm a person who wishes to live a very quiet life. I take care not to trouble myself with any enemies, like winning and losing, that would cause me to lose sleep at night. That is how I deal with society, and I know that is what brings me happiness. Although, if I were to fight I wouldn't lose to anyone."
— Revealing his identity to Shigechi with the knowledge that he will not be around long enough to tell anyone


     Vento Aureo 

Giorno Giovanna

"Luca... Don't make me say the same thing twice. I've told you that I already paid, so I don't have any. So please don't make me say it a third time."
— To Leaky-eyed Luka

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you it was an accident, would you? So I'm going to be disposed of, right? And you came here fully prepared, right? When you're going to dispose of someone, you always prepared for the possibility that you could end up being the one disposed of, right?"
— To Bucciarati

"I plan on defeating your boss and taking over this city. In order to get rid of gangsters that sell drugs to children, I'm going to have become a gangster myself."
— To Bucciarati

"I, Giorno Giovanna, have a dream!"
Giorno's Catchphrase

"You told me there were 2 paths, but sadly, you only have one."
— Giorno to Black Sabbath

"When someone insults you, even murder is forgivable? I see. What you told me is very important. You insulted that innocent old man's life. So I changed one of your guns into a banana. You should savor your last meal as best as you can."
— Indirectly to Polpo moments before his death

Cioccolata: B-but you said... th-that if I stayed still.. y-you wouldn't do anything...
Giorno: "Know your place. Did you really think you'd be that lucky... for a human being like you?"
— Giorno before subjecting Cioccolata to the infamous 7 page/30 seconds beatdown.

Bruno Bucciarati

"This taste... Is the taste of someone who's lying! Giorno Giovanna!"
— Bucciarati after licking Giorno's face to intimidate him

"Speak! You know who's responsible. Were you told not to tell anyone? Let's have you tell me who did Luca in."
— Bucciarati during his interrogation of Giorno over Luca's death

— To Pesci after defeating him. (''It's Italian for "Farewell")

"And now... The boss is now...! The most repulsive form of evil is to exploit innocent people who don't know anything, and to use others merely for one's own gain! A FATHER DID THIS TO HIS INNOCENT DAUGHTER, ALL TO COVER HIS OWN ASS!? This in unforgivable! You have once again betrayed my heart!"
— Indirectly to Diavolo, after discovering that he planned to kill Trish all along.

Bucciarati: The boss had us act as her bodyguards so that he could kill his daughter with his own hands. Because she shares his blood, she could have figured out his true identity. I found that out and... I couldn't forgive him. I couldn't just come back and pretending I didn't see that. That's why I betrayed him!
Fugo: How could you...?
Mista: Are you insane, Bucciarati?
Abbacchio: You know exactly what happens to traitors, no matter who it is. The boss never lets anyone get away. Hell, Venice could be already be surrounded by the boss' elite guard.
Bucciarati: You're right, and that's why I'm going to need help. If any of you are willing to accompany me, come down these stairs and get on the boat. But, I will not order any of you to come with me. I won't even ask you to come with me. I did this all on my own, so you don't need to feel obligated to come with me. This may come off as arrogant, but I'm going to say it anyway: I did this because I believe I'm right. I have no regrets. Despite the world we live in, I want to continue on the path that I believe in. If we can just find his weakness... Though we're only fleeing now, I will defeat the boss, no matter what. I will find his weakness, no matter what!
— To his team members, defending his reasoning for betraying the boss.

"Giorno... Actually, I was reborn. When I met you back home in Naples, when I betrayed the organization... My soul had been fated to slowly die, but it was reborn, thanks to you. This is what true happiness is. This is how it should be. Don't worry about it. Please give everyone my regards."
— Bucciarati as his soul ascends into the sky during the battle with Chariot Requiem and Diavolo

Leone Abbachio

"Stupid shit? No. This has to do with my safety. I can’t just carelessly reveal my Stand ability in front of a stranger I can’t trust. Bucciarati, I don’t know what made you trust this guy, but I don’t consider him a part of the team."
—Abbachio refusing to reveal his stand while he, Bruno, and Giorno under attack.

"Giorno Giovanna, you’re one crazy bastard. All this just to prove yourself... What the hell is wrong with you?"
— When Giorno willingly lets himself get attacked to get Abbachio to use Moody Blues

"Fugo's absolutely right. What you did is basically suicide. No matter where in the world you might run to, you'll never find a safe haven again. Besides, I pledged my loyalty to the organization. It's not like I pledged my loyalty to you. That being said... I never had a home or place I wanted to go. The only time I'm ever at ease... is when I'm with you, Bucciarati."
— Abbacchio deciding to join Bucciarati to defeat the boss.

Panacotta Fugo

" You stupid deliquent! Are you messing with me!? How many times do I have to teach you this before you learn!? YOU SHIT FOR BRAINS! You said 6 times 5 equals 30! So how the hell is the answer less than 30!?"
— Fugo to Narancia after stabbing him in the face with a fork for getting a math problem wrong.


"Leave this place, Bruno Bucciarati. If you emerge from that pillar, you will die."
— Diavolo, to Bruno Bucciarati before swiftly making due on his promise.

"This is a test. I've accepted this test to stand victorious against my past. A person grows once they are able to defeat their weaker self. Wouldn't you agree, Jean Pierre Polnareff?"
— Diavalo, to Polareff, after revealing himself as Doppio

"Only the results! In this world, only the results matter!"
— Diavolo's signature phrase, and his greatest belief.

Gold Experience Requiem: This... is... Requiem. What you're seeing is indeed the truth. You are seeing the movements created by your abilities. But... you will never arrive at the truth that's going to happen. None who stand before me shall ever get there, regardless of their abilities. This is... the power of Gold Experience Requiem. This is unknown even to Giorno Giovanna, who controls me.
Diavolo: Giorno Giovanna, II won't ever give you the chance to regret your death! (What am I saying? I...haven't moved an inch since the beginning! I-I... haven't move at all from the start! Th-This premonition that I had... It's the truth that's going to happen! My invincible King Cromson should be heading toward victory!)
—>— Diavolo's last moments before being subject to an infinite death loop courtesy of Gold Experience Requiem

->Drugged killer: You jackass! I-I not... g-g-gonna let you snatch my precious c-coat! It's not happening! Hehehehehe! What? You wanna fight? You wanna fight me? Hehe, hahahahahahah! Well, do ya!? Don't fuck with me! Hehehehe! I'll take you on anytime! Eh, hehehe! Come at me, ya dickhead!
Diavolo: (sees his hand pouring blood) W-what...the!?
Drugged killer: Come on! Come at me!
Diavolo: I-Impossible! Could this be...
Drugged killer: You're never gonna get my coat!
Diavolo: I-I cant stand up! (coughs up blood) S-somebody...
Drugged killer: You ain't getting it... You ain't never gonna it...
Diavolo: I-I can't... Not here... I-I'm Diavolo! Not... at the hand of guy like him! I-I'm fading! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
— The first of Diavolo's infinite deaths

Diavolo: Is this? I sleeping on a bed? I feel into the river, and then, I got into the sewer and...
Doctor: is the 25th. 11:20 a.m. File Number 68. I, Dr. Monica Ultello, shall handle this. We have an adult male, age between 30-40. Identity unknown. Judging from his skin, it's been 48 to 54 hours since his death. We will now commence autopsy to determine the cause of his death.
Diavolo: Hey, woman. What are you talking about?
Monica: Although his body was found near the river, he had barely any water in him, so he couldn't have drowned. (Diavolo: What is this place? And why am I here? Hey, woman!)
(Dr. Monica Ultello grabs a scalpel)
Diavolo: I...can't body...What the hell is this? Hey, woman! Are you listening? Who are you? What are you doing?
(Dr. Monica Ultello dissects his chest)
Diavolo: GAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!! Why...won't my body move? And this pain...OW! IT HURTS!
Monica: The cause of his death is a stab wound reaching his liver. There are no marks indicating hesitation, so we can rule out suicide. Next, I'll dissect his abdomen and check inside. Just in case. His liver is very healthy, and has a nice color too.
(Dr. Monica Ultello grabs a bone cutter and starts dissecting Diavolo's abs)
— The second of Diavolo's infinite deaths

Diavolo: It was All Just a Dream? Was I dreaming?'s happening again.
(the traffic light goes green as Diavolo watches the cars pass on the street)
Diavolo: What time is it? Where am I? I was in the Tiber in Rome... And that feeling...the unimaginable pain I experience in the autopsy room...It was too real to be a dream!
Old man: Excuse me. You, sir. Are you okay? Why are you hunched over like that? Not feeling well?
(the old man's pet dog starts barking at Diavolo)
Old man: Hey, stop it!
(Diavolo tries to get away from the dog, but trips at the edge of a pavement as an oncoming car arrives)
Diavolo: What the fuck is this? Something's not right! Not this boring way! Could this mean that this is...
(Diavolo lands on the tarmac as the car gets closer)
(the oncoming traffic car crashes onto Diavolo)
— The third of Diavolo's infinite deaths

"How many times must I die!? Where...and when...will I be attacked next!? D-Don't come! Don't come! D-Don't...DON'T GET ANY CLOSER TO ME!"
— Diavolo's Famous Last Words, after being subject to a never-ending experience of death courtesy of Gold Experience Requiem.


Random rich guy: What are you gonna do about this, you little shit!? You think you can pay for this!? This suit cost four million lire! Let's take this outside!!
Narancia: (smacks the guy with a glass of wine) Then you must be the enemy!
Mista: What!?
Narancia: (kicking the unconscious guy on the ground) You're an enemy, huh!? Huh!?
Mista: (also kicking the same guy) Well, are you!? Are you!?
Narancia: (still kicking) You're an enemy, huh!? Take that! And that!
Abbacchio: (looks at the kicking, takes a sip... then joins the kicking) (Stops a bit) Hold on, Narancia, Mista. I don't think this one's an enemy. He's unconscious. He's most definitely not an enemy.
Narancia: Wha!? Seriously!? Crap, what do I do now!?
Mista: Yep, the stain's going to be hard to clean. One single drop of red wine on a white suit really stands out.
Narancia: I can't pay for this shit!
Mista: Well, the location of the stain might make it look like a button. If he puts a button here, he can hide it.
Abbacchio: (feeds the guy with their meals, suspected to be poisonous) While we're at it, let's get him to make sure there isn't any poison in our food....

Giorno: That's right. I kept talking because I wanted to buy some time. The time I needed to make the bullet that went through your head earlier evolve and return to your wound. The piece that remained in your head lured the bullet and returned as a stag beetle. When I aimed for the propellers, I imbued with Gold Experience's life force, so that I could finish you for good, whether you were dead or alive.
Cioccolata: B-but you said... th-that if I stayed still.. y-you wouldn't do anything...
Giorno: "Know your place. Did you really think you'd be that lucky? For a piece of shit like you?"
Cioccolata: Y-You're so mean!
— The build up to the 7-page/30-second beatdown.

Giorno: Since I'm not exactly healing you, your pain will remain. Please don't complain to me later.
Mista: OUCH! O-OW! Be more gentle! Be more gentle, damn it, Giorno!
Giorno: I told you, I can't. You're a gangster, so please quit fussing. There are about 18 more wounds, so you'll have to remove some of your clothes for me to plug the rest.
Mista: AAH! GIORNO!!
Narancia: Ah, there they are! Hey, Mista! Gio—
Mista: (in a very awkward positioning with Giorno) Be gentler! Be gentler, damn it! Don't take off my clothes! I'll feel it more! Aaahhhaaaah...!
Narancia: (GASP!) (cue making a Big "OMG!" face like Joseph Joestar (manga) or Dramatic Thunder (anime))
Bucciarati: Well, Narancia? Did you find those two?
Narancia: Huh!? W-well, u-um... No! Huh!? Suddenly there's something in my eyes!? (covering his eyes) I can't see! I can't see them clearly!!
Mista: Ah, Giorno! Don't! N-no more! I-I can't! BE GENTLER, DAMMIIIIIITTT!!!!
The 'succ' scene (Giorno trying to heal Mista's wounds and ending up making extreme Double Entendre)

     Stone Ocean 

Jolyne Kujo

"Hey, hey... Gwess. Didn't you once say that everything should have a name? I want to give her a name too... Stone Free... I want to free myself from this stone ocean! Heard me? STONE FREE! This is her name!"
—To Gwess before beating her to a pulp

"American style. French style. Japanese style. Italian. Specifically Naples style. The world's fingers for fuck off."
— Jolyne to Kenzo while Flipping the Bird in four languages.

"An organism that can have sex with anything it encounters... I'm kinda jealous... I mean—no! That's just gross!"
—Jolyne on Heavy Weather's snails

" Come on, Father Pucci!"
Jolyne's Last Stand against Pucci

Jotaro Kujo

"I've always... cherished you."
— To Jolyne before he lost consciousness

Narciso Anasui

"Look at this, Weather. What a crappy guidebook! None of the characters are on it! I want to see the Disney characters goddammit! Where the fuck is Mickey?"
— In the Bohemian Rhapsody arc

Emporio Alniño

"Don't you understand? You lost to 'fate'! Walking the path of 'justice' is true 'fate'!"
— To Pucci during the final showdown

"Emporio. My name... My name is Emporio."
To Irene after the universe resets


"Do you believe in gravity?"

     Steel Ball Run 

Gyro Zeppeli

Gyro Zeppeli: Tell him to eat shit, Johnny.
Johnny Joestar: Tell him yourself.
Gyro: Eat shit, asshole! Fall off your horse!
— To Hot Pants

Johnny Joestar: Gyro! What are you trying to make her do?! She’s only 14!
— About Lucy Steel

Ringo Roadagain

Ringo Roadagain: Welcome..To the True Man’s World.
— After Gyro beats him

Funny Valentine

"Suppose that you were sitting down at a table. The napkins are in front of you, which napkin would you take? The one on your ‘left’? Or the one on your ‘right’? The one on your left side? Or the one on your right side? Usually you would take the one on your left side. That is ‘correct’ too. But in a larger sense on society, that is wrong. Perhaps I could even substitute ‘society’ with the ‘Universe’. The correct answer is that ‘It is determined by the one who takes his or her own napkin first.’ …Yes? If the first one takes the napkin to their right, then there’s no choice but for others to also take the ‘right’ napkin. The same goes for the left. Everyone else will take the napkin to their left, because they have no other option. This is ‘society’… Who are the ones that determine the price of land first? There must have been someone who determined the value of money, first. The size of the rails on a train track? The magnitude of electricity? Laws and Regulations? Who was the first to determine these things? Did we all do it, because this is a Republic? Or was it Arbitrary? NO! The one who took the napkin first determined all of these things! The rules of this world are determined by that same principle of ‘right or left?’! In a Society like this table, a state of equilibrium, once one makes the first move, everyone must follow! In every era, this World has been operating by this napkin principle. And the one who ‘takes the napkin first’ must be someone who is respected by all. It’s not that anyone can fulfill this role… Those that are despotic or unworthy will be scorned. And those are the ‘losers’. In the case of this table, the ‘eldest’ or the ‘Master of the party’ will take the napkin first… Because everyone ‘respects’ those individuals."
— Explaining his outlook towards society

"Your Stand is like your asshole: you can't go around showing it off to other people."
—Norisuke IV

''"I've been thinking how choosing a good 'killing order' is invaluable for work efficiency. ... Yup, order's rea~l important here. Who should we start with?"
—Urban Guerrilla

”Ya know that 'order' I was talking about? I think I’ll start with you, plant appraiser!"
—Urban Guerrilla, revealing his 'killing order'

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