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Quotes / Jewish Complaining

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Mordechai Carver: Wait, wait hold on a sec. I didn't want to have to do this, but you leave me no choice. I'm now going to resort to the most dangerous, deadly weapon in the Jewish arsenal. *briefly meditates* What, I shlep all the way up here for this? I come all the way to the North Pole to fight you; you don't put out anything to nosh on?
Damian Claus: You're hungry?
Mordechai: I mean, seriously, what kind of arch-nemesis are you?
Damian: Sorry, I wasn't thinking I guess. Oh! Oh, no, you don't! You're not going to pull Jewish-guilt crap on me, I'm a lot stronger than that, Mordechai.
Mordechai: Okay, forget it. Never mind.
Damian: What?
Mordechai: No, nothing.
Damian: Tell me, what?
Mordechai: Well, I mean, I don't know what kind of host it is that treats their company this way. Esther is clearly unhappy with the guest room you've provided her with. I'm shvitzing from running around all over the place shooting people.
Damian: Stop this!
Mordechai: What kind of flooring is this, anyway? My feet are killing me! Not to mention, I don't get a proper hello when I come in.
Damian: Please stop. Just take my gun!
Mordechai: No.
Damian: Take the gun!
Mordechai: Forget about it.
Damian: I insist on you taking the gun!
Mordechai: Okay.
Damian: Put a bullet right here! Take me out of my misery, please!
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