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Quotes / Jerkass Has a Point

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    Anime & Manga 
Yamamoto: If your Research and Development Department had reported and managed it more promptly, this situation may have been avoidable.
Mayuri: That is not true. I foresaw and suggested this situation the moment Uryuu Ishida, the Quincy, infiltrated the Soul Society as a Ryouka. It was you who disregarded that as being absurd. Isn't the principal cause of this situation you, Captain-General?
Bleach

Ryoko: I feel bad about saying this, but I think your mother must have been a very weak person. To end up like that, I mean. Even if I were in her situation and lost my man. As long as I had the memory of the love I shared, I'm sure I would be able to handle it. And I would never involve a small child in my problems.
Kanzaki: It's easy to have such an idealistic attitude. But, would your attitude hold up if you were really faced with the same kind of situation? ... Shin has been missing a long time. And you don't know whether he's alive or dead. Yet, you still love him. In retrospect, is your situation any different?

    Comic Books 
Thunderbolt Ross: All our backup agents had been shot in the head and Nick Fury was neutralized ten seconds later, colonel. From what we've been able to gather in the subsequent twenty-four hours, this entire underground facility has been moved one step closer to the Kashmir border. And every secret in Fury's brain is currently up for auction to any terrorist with a mastercard.
Wraith: Not exactly SHIELD's finest hour, General Ross.
Thunderbolt Ross: No, colonel Wraith. Not our finest hour at all.
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    Fan Works 
Damn. Why does Near have to always have a point? You're like L in that way: as assholish as they come, but when you've got a point, you hit the nail on the friggin' head.
Erin sums this trope up nicely in chapter 14 of And the Story Continues

"I detest how accurate your point is."

Kliff: Wait, you actually listened to me?! I thought you were mad!?
Linde: Just because you were insensitive with your delivery doesn't mean that you didn't have a good point.

He was acting just like a parent, or the kind of big brother you really don't want around at the time.
The worst part was, he was right and she knew it.

    Film — Animation 
"When did God start caring about any of us? In fact, Moses, when did you start caring about slaves? Was it when you found out that you were one of us?"

"[You] couldn't handle Buzz cutting on your playtime, could you, Woody? [You] didn't want to face the fact that Buzz might be Andy's new favorite toy. So, you got rid of him! Well, what if Andy starts playing with me more, Woody, huh? You gonna knock me out the window, too?"
Mr. Potato Head, Toy Story

    Film — Live-Action 
Rocket: Blasted idiot. They're all idiots! Quill just got himself captured. None of this ever would've happened if you [Drax] hadn't tried to single-handedly take on a frickin' army!
Drax: You're right. I was a fool. All the anger, all the rage, was just to cover my loss. (shamefully looks onto the ground)
Rocket: (dumbly stares at Drax for a few seconds, then mocks him) "Oh, boo-hoo-hoo! My wife and child are dead!" (Groot gasps at Rocket's mockery) I don't care if it's mean. Everybody's got dead people! That's no excuse to get everyone else dead along the way!

Jester: That was some of the best flying I’ve seen yet. Right up to the part where you got killed. You never, never leave your wingman.
Iceman: [wanders over] Maverick... it’s not your flying, it’s your attitude. The enemy’s dangerous. And right now you’re worse than the enemy. You’re dangerous and foolish. You may not like the guys flying with you, they may not like you. But whose side are you on?

Shaun: Whoa, we're all friends here–
Pete: He's not my friend, he's a fuckin' idiot!
Ed: What's that supposed to mean?
Pete: It means, why don't you FUCK OFF!?! You wanna live like an animal?! Go live in the shed, you thick fuck!
Shaun: Oh, leave him alone!
Pete: Stop defending him, Shaun! All he ever does is hold you back! Or does it make your life easier having someone around who's more of a loser than you are?
Shaun: ...What's that supposed to mean?
Pete: You know what I mean. I assume it was Liz that did the dumping? [pointing at Shaun] Sort your fucking life out, mate!

Masrani: You are to cease all activities here immediately.
Dr. Wu: You are acting like we are engaged in some kind of mad science. But we are doing what we have done from the beginning. Nothing in Jurassic World is natural! We have always filled gaps in the genome with the DNA of other animals. And, if their genetic code was pure, many of them would look quite different. But you didn't ask for reality. You asked for more teeth.
Masrani: I never asked for a monster!
Dr. Wu: "Monster" is a relative term. To a canary, a cat is a monster. We've just gotten used to being the cat.

"You're not wrong, Walter, you're just an asshole."
The Dude, The Big Lebowski

    Literature 
<Rachel was brave. Bravery is a great virtue.>
Marco rolled his eyes at Ax. "Thank you, Obi-Wan Kenobi, for that wisdom. Of course she was a hero. She's always a hero. Rachel can't stop being heroic. Being stupidly brave is like some nervous tic she can't control. But what if someone had caught her morphing on videotape?"
That wiped the smile off my face. As much as Marco annoyed me, he was right. If someone had taped me... the Yeerks are everywhere. If they'd had evidence I'd morphed a crocodile, they would know who and what I was. The Yeerks believe we are a highly trained group of Andalite warriors. If they ever found out we were just human kids... we'd be wiped out before we could blink twice.
Animorphs #12: The Reaction

Ron: Well, it won't matter if [the Blast-Ended Skrewts] turn out to cure seasickness or something, will it?
Hermione: You know perfectly well I only said that to shut Malfoy up. As a matter of fact I think he's right. The best thing to do would be to stamp on the lot of them before they start attacking us all.

    Live-Action TV 
Ted: Hey, I gotta admit, I didn't think I would, but I had a really good time tonight. You're good friend, Barney. Why don't you tell me where my truck is?
Barney: ...Nah, I don't think so.
Ted: Where's my truck?
Barney: Do you know why I haven't given you any of your possessions back yet?
Ted: Uh, because you're Admiral Jerk of the British Royal Douchery?
Barney: Because you don't want them back. You could've left at any time tonight, but you didn't, Ted. Why is that?
Ted: Because I didn't want to go back to Robin's without my stuff!
Barney: False. You know what I think? I think you spent one day with her and it already sucked. I think you didn't like being there, she didn't like having you there, and you both realized you made a huge mistake. And that's why you spent your first night living with Robin out playing laser tag with me. And that's why three seconds ago, you didn't call it "my place" or "our place" or "home". You called it "Robin's".

Buffy: How could you let [Dawn] find out like that?! From books and papers?! You hate me that much?!
Spike: I was just along for the ride. Not like I knew she was mystical glowy key thing, nobody keeps me in the bloody loop, do they?!
Buffy: You could have stopped her.
Spike: [laughing humorlessly] Oh, yeah. Here it comes. Something goes wrong in your life, blame Spike. [furious] Newsflash, Blondie! If kid sis wants to grab a midnight stroll, she'll find a way sooner or later. I just thought she'd be safer with Big Bad lookin' over her shoulder.
Buffy: She shouldn't have found out like that.
Spike: You didn't think you could keep the truth from her forever, did you?! Maybe if you had been more honest with her in the first place, you wouldn't be trying to make yourself feel better with a round of "Kick The Spike"!
Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "Blood Ties"

Spike: I just can't take all this mamby-pamby boo-hooing about the bloody Indians.
Willow: Uh, the preferred term is...
Spike: You [White Europeans] won! All right? You came in and you killed them and you took their land. That's what conquering nations do! It's what Caesar did, and he's not goin' around saying, "I came, I conquered, I felt really bad about it." The history of the world is not people making friends. You had better weapons, and you massacred them. End of story.
Buffy: Well, I think the Spaniards actually did a lot of the - (Willow nudges her) Not that I don't like Spaniards.
Spike: Listen to you. How you gonna fight anyone with that attitude?
Willow: We don't wanna fight anyone. If we could talk to him...
Spike: You exterminated his race. What could you POSSIBLY say that would make him feel better? It's kill or be killed here. Take your bloody pick!
Xander: (Beat) Maybe it's the syphilis talking, but some of that made sense.
Giles: I made these points earlier, but fine, no one listens to me.

Zemo: It's a masterpiece, James. Complete, comprehensive. It captures the African-American experience.
Sam: Wh-... uh... He's out of line... but he's right!
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    Newspaper Comics 
"I wasn't expecting someone so insane to sound so logical."
Francis about Nate, Big Nate, 8/4/2000

    Theatre 
"You're so nice. You're not good. You're not bad. You're just... nice. I'm not good. I'm not nice. I'm just right."
The Witch, Into the Woods, "Last Midnight"

    Video Games 
"I got an interesting tip today, remember that barbaric beast named the Rhino? Apparently, last night he almost escaped from his cell in The Raft. How, you ask? Well, no one there seems to know, but they assure me he's been relocated to a "more secure" cell. Now I'm no expert on supermax prisons, but isn't the whole point of them that there isn't anything else more secure? I mean he's a seven hundred pound maniac with an indestructible horn! If there's a more secure cell, WHY WASN'T HE IN IT?!"
J. Jonah Jameson, Spider-Man (PS4)

Viridi: It's almost as bad as humans disrupting the balance on Earth! It's unforgivable!
Dark Pit: You've got to be joking. All you gods and your stupid wars are the ones throwing everything off balance!
Viridi: You little nothing! How dare you?!
Palutena: ...He may have a point.

[Darios has just told the group of a secret tunnel into a Gristonne stronghold]
Takumi: Hold on a second- you're the prince of Gristonne. How can we be sure this isn't some plan to trick us into an ambush?
Ryoma: Takumi, you slight Prince Darios with your words. However, I agree with them. To be frank, I harbor the same concerns that Takumi has voiced. As royalty myself, I find it hard to believe you would turn against your kingdom.

You resorted to blanking your memories to create a new world where humanity's past failures would never be repeated... How stupid can you be?! No matter how much you change the rules, no matter how much you refuse to admit defeat, in the end, the creatures known as "people" will always sign their own death warrant by acting out of stupidity and evil. And then... mankind will be gone for good.
King P/Porky Minch, Mother 3

Jonathan: I was only reborn for a few minutes before you and your men hunted me down like a beast!
McCullum: You were only reborn for a few minutes and you'd already taken the life of an innocent woman!
Vampyr

"Ohh...That bum! I don't know why he's always so mean to everyone! What he said is true, though. The forest...strange things have been happening here lately... You need to be ready for anything. You'd better find a weapon!"
Saria, regarding Mido, The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time

The Boss: Johnny's dead because of you!
Viola DeWynter: Johnny's dead because he thought he could do everything by himself.

    Web Animation 
Ironwood: The Amity Project will help with all of the issues you’ve presented, but you have to understand that discretion is a top priority at this time.
Jacques: Are you saying you don't trust us?
Winter: [slams the table in a rage] You can’t just buy trust like everything else! You have to earn it!
Jacques: [smirks] I couldn't have said it better myself. [Winter gasps] General, if I may be blunt, you have spent what little trust this Council had left in you. The hacker who turned Atlas drones against us was never captured, whoever’s been murdering your critics is still at large. How are we supposed to give you our trust, when you’ve given us nothing as of late?

"As you may know, the game has been struck by the censorship hammer here in Australia, and several scenes have been replaced by a static screen with a text window describing the scene in graphic detail next to a picture of a crying koala. Yes, ha ha - fuck The Man and all that, but I must say, the fifth or sixth time at this screen I kind of went "You know what, that sounds pretty fucking stupid, and I am kind of glad I was spared from watching it".

    Web Original 
"Subtlety seems to have flown out the window in this movie. Take for example when Michael and Blue go to a gas station for supplies. The attendant has a baby next to her and is blowing all the smoke in the babies face (and I mean she is all but blowing all the smoke directly in her mouth). Michael as politely as possible tells her that might not be the safest thing. But Michael is painted as the stuck up prick so everything he says no matter how rational is wrong. Same as when they are driving by the site of a drive by shooting and Michael asks 'How can people live like this?' Blue gives Michael a look like 'How dare you sir! This is the perfect life!'"
Miles Antwiler on The Sunchaser (1996)

"Seven of Nine I could kiss you! In an episode full of little nuggets, her criticism of the Voyager crew's ignorance of other species is the charmer. She states (and I quote): ‘You make contact with alien species without sufficient understanding of their nature. As a result Voyager’s directive to seek out new civilisations often ends in conflict.’ Somebody give that woman a medal! Of course Neelix has some vomit inducing retort about exploration being worth it but the point still stands."
Doc Oho on Star Trek: Voyager, "Random Thoughts"

Medical Student: "Seriously? What if I make just one tiny mistake?"
Teacher: "You kill your patient. End of discussion."
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    Web Video 
Vegeta: Can we please stop talking about Kakarot for just a minute? I mean for God's sake, he's never even around!
Piccolo: Sad thing is, he's not exactly wrong.

    Webcomics 
Belkar: Me, I'm a heartless little bastard. I can shrug that kind of thing off. But you seem like maybe that might bother you at some point down the road.
Roy: You -- You of all people -- You have no right to -- (Beat Panel) Fine. We keep going. Haley, you look for traps. You two, behind us.
Haley: What are we going to do if we find —
Roy: I don't know yet! I'll think of something on the way. Now MOVE!!
Elan: Geez, Belkar, I can't believe you said all that to Roy. Don't you think it was a little harsh?
Belkar: Isn't that why you losers keep me around? Hurting people is the only thing I'm good at.

Sarah: [George] is brutally honest and gave me great advice between games. I'm going to play so much better tonight because of him.
Grace: George... can be pretty insightful about stuff.
Sarah: He's like a giant rude Yoda.

"I thought he was just being a dick, but that's a really good point."
Background character, Grrl Power

    Western Animation 
Discord: I never thought you'd be the kind of pony who would think she was better than everypony else.
Twilight Sparkle: I don't think I'm better than anypony!
Discord: Oh, well, how silly of me to assume that you would think that. All you did was choose to keep your precious princess self out of harm's way while your friends thrust themselves right into it... I'm sure you'll all be the best of pals again when they return from their terrifying, yet deeply bonding experience — that they're having without you.

Frank Grimes: I'm saying you're what's wrong with America, Simpson. You coast through life, you do as little as possible, and you leech off of decent, hardworking people like me. Heh, if you lived in any other country in the world, you'd have starved to death long ago.
Bart: He's got you there, dad.
The Simpsons, "Homer's Enemy"

Rick: Thank youuuu. I appreciate it, Morty, I know you were sucking the Kool-Aid out of the Vindicators' [blink] so the fact that I was right about them must be pretty hard to admit.
Morty: Yeah, it is. You know why, Rick? Because when you're an asshole, it doesn't matter how right you are, nobody wants to give you the satisfaction.
Rick: I know, everyone wants people they like to be right. That's why popular people are fucking dumb.
Rick and Morty, "Vindicators 3: The Return of Worldender"

Jim: You're a real jerk, you know that?
Merlin: Yes, but that doesn't make me wrong.
Trollhunters, "A House Divided"

[Symbiote-possessed Peter has just tossed Eddie Brock aside and hung up on Gwen]
Peter: Forget it. She and Brock can attend a "Pete's such a disappointment" dance together.
Flash: They sell tickets to that, or can anyone who thinks you're a jerk join in?
Peter: Don't push me, Eugene. I'm not in the mood.
Flash: Yeah, yeah, your aunt's sick. Poor Puny Parker... even Sally feels bad for you, but not me. If you're hanging up on the she-geek, that proves you're still a stuck-up egghead. [scoffs] A guy who can't even see when his friends are trying to help.
[later]
Spider-Man: Okay, if Flash Thompson is making sense, something must be seriously wrong.
The Spectacular Spider-Man, "Intervention"

Mr. Krabs: Look, Squidward! Money!
Squidward: Mr. Krabs, I Can't Believe I'm Saying This, but how could you trade Spongebob for 62 cents?!
Squidward: He stuck up for you, and you sold him out! YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF!

Bill: Ready to give up, yet?
Cricket: Fine. You got me this time, but you're not always gonna be around to police me. And the second you're not, I'm gonna say whatever I want!
Bill: ...You're right, Cricket.
Cricket: I am?
Bill: Yup. I can't control what comes out of your mouth any more than I can control the wind.
Cricket: I can control the wind! Watch! (blows)
Bill: What I'm tryin' to say is that, well... you're your own person, and it's time you made your own decisions. So, from now on, you can say whatever you want. I won't stop ya.
Cricket: Wow, really?
Bill: I hereby give you full permission to cuss; you've just gotta decide if that's the kind of person you want to be.
Big City Greens, "Bleeped"


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