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Quotes / Insult to Rocks

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Anime and Manga

I guess I just don't know what to call you. I was thinking about "monster", but I didn't want to insult the cards.
Yami, Yu-Gi-Oh! 4kids dub, Pegasus Island arc.

I can't even call him scum...he's the shit beneath it!
Sanji, One Piece

Fan Works

Rude. Accusing. Signs of psychological weakness. No sense of social proprietary either. Interrupted a conversation that you were not involved in. Must be raised by wolves. Wait. No. Wolves have clear ordered social structure. Insulting to wolves. Apologies. Raised by maggots then.

Well, I could have said you were related to a monkey's uncle. But I would be insulting the monkeys.
Warren Worthington, X-Men: The Early Years
Film — Animation
Moe: What are you telling us? We're trapped like rats?
Russ Cargill: No, rats can't be trapped this easily. You're trapped like... carrots.

Film — Live-Action

I don't know what car wash you worked before you came here that let you stroll in 20 minutes late, but it wasn't owned by me, and I own a fuckin' car wash!
Larry, Kill Bill Vol. 2

Otto: Don't call me stupid!
Wanda: Oh right! To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people!

"If a jackass had both your brains, he'd be a very dumb jackass!"
Captain Cornelius Butt, Galaxina (1980)


To say that [Rude Trevor Vargas] was an intemperate, murderous lunatic would wound the feelings of most intemperate, murderous lunatics.

People talk sometimes of a bestial cruelty, but that's a great injustice and insult to the beasts; a beast can never be so cruel as a man, so artistically cruel.

Live-Action TV

Wyatt Cenac: If they're not as evil as I think they are, they are STUPID. We're talkin' potatoes with mouths.
John Oliver: Not even potatoes, Wyatt; a potato can still power a digital clock.
The Daily Show, "The Parent Company Trap" (debating whether Fox News is stupid or evil)

Harrow: I know him, and I think he's a psychotic lowlife.
Mal: And I think calling him that is an insult to the psychotic lowlife community.
Firefly, "Shindig"

Rachel: Ever seen so much crap?
Chandler: Actually I think this apartment sullies the good name of crap.
Friends, "The One Where Heckles Dies"

Julia, on the other hand, is such a non-entity out here. I’m tempted to say she has a vanilla personality, but I feel like that would be doing a great disservice to the flavor vanilla. I mean, people actively seek out vanilla-flavored products. Children clamor to get a vanilla ice cream cone. Nobody is clamoring for anything Julia-flavored.

Ian Chesterton: You're treating us like children!
The Doctor: Am I? The children of my civilisation would be insulted.

Diane: Do you know the difference between you and a braying ass?
Sam: No.
Diane: A braying ass would.


To call it an anticlimax would be an insult not only to climaxes but to prefixes.

Many of you voted for the dung beetle, the mosquito, and the leech, all of which were inevitably compared to Congress. I'm sorry but that's a low blow: Our research indicates that no dung beetle has ever accepted money from a savings-and-loan operation.
Dave Barry, on readers' choices for an Official National Insect

The poop jokes are minimal.
AP Times, on The Emoji Movie

Tabletop Games

I would say that our Bureaucrats are no better than vipers— but I shouldn't insult the vipers.
Murat, Death Speaker; Flavour text for the Aysen Bureaucrats Magic: The Gathering card.

Web Animation

The first attempt at a 3D Prince of Persia was the predictably-named Prince of Persia 3D, technically a Tomb Raider clone in the same sense that a bucket of mushy peas and old twigs is technically 'food.'

Web Original

To call this a victory is like calling a lobster attack a handjob— inaccurate and demeaning to everything involved.

Tom Coughlin. Still. Christ. I would say the Giants need new blood, but that suggests old blood is currently running through Coughlin's circulatory system, which is not true. Coughlin's veins are stuffed with old hair tonic and axle grease.
Drew McGary, "Why Your Team Sucks 2014: New York Giants"

Everyone apologize to Ernie Cline for the "ARMADA is everything wrong with gamer culture" takedown — should saved that bullet for PIXELS

Another [reviewer mentioned] this movie was 2001 for Retards. That may have been giving it too much credit. This is like Contact for retards. No, that’s giving it too much credit too because I really like Contact. This is like Fire Maidens from Outer Space for dummies.

Like Stargate ‘but with better acting’ – featuring McCoy and Aldred at their worst tackling a script that would have been tossed in the bin of the Stargate production office, you were just asking for trouble with this line. I don’t even like Stargate a great deal but its consistent mediocrity is far superior to this slop.
Joe Ford on Big Finish Doctor Who, The Rapture

David: I can’t wait for “I guess you could say I got killed by… curiosity.
Chris: That line is actually too good for this movie.
—Chris Sims and David Uzumeri on Catwoman

I would say this movie officially has porno logic, but pornography often does a much better job than this.
ComicsAlliance on Barb Wire

Following a discussion of what to turn into, including a debate on whether humans or cats are the dominant species on the planet, we see the emergence of our heroes, Anna Nicole and two more of the skankiest skanks this side of a Diva Search.

Actually, I take that back — at least the crack hoes WWE finds are somewhat attractive.

These three look like rejects at a Boise gold club amateurs night.

This was just … irredeemable. I really, really doubt I’ll see anything dumber on television this year, unless I start watching Jersey Shore. And even then it might not get dethroned.
Smallvillains on Smallville ("Collateral")

Loot boxes are gambling. Gambling in premium games you've already paid for, and it's fucking disgusting. And yes, I know it's not literally gambling, but functionally it's the same bloody thing, come on, you're giving Warner Brothers money to spin a roulette wheel for a chance to win something at the risk of getting a load of shit. Colloquially, I absolutely call it gambling, if nothing else for the fact that it further demeans and insults an economy that deserves only demeaning and insulting. But of course, those who argue that technically it's not gambling are correct.

After all, gambling is subjected to scrutiny, regulation and age restriction is it not?

I remember saying, back in the day, that Fifty Shades of Grey was like Atlas Shrugged but stupider, and with added abusive sex.

I’m sorry to say, I did Fifty Shades of Grey a grave injustice.

LeAnn Rimes and Eddie Cibrian started shopping around their own reality shit show a few months ago and somebody actually bought it and surprisingly that somebody wasn’t Animal Planet. No offense to the animals of Animal Planet.

Ok, let’s be frankly honest. Today’s post isn’t shooting fish in a barrel, it’s shooting fish in a barrel with a fucking rocket launcher that is loaded with fish-seeking rockets and the entire barrel is loaded with land-mines and the fish are genetically engineered to jump towards weapon fire.

"I am waiting on bated breath for your answer you sorry sack of lizard vomit. Oh, wait, that is demeaning to the lizard that projectile vomited all over me last week."
Alyrium Denryle during an argument regarding Prop 8,

Everything you need to know about David “the Rock” Nelson as a filmmaker is summed up by the fact that he likes to bill himself as “the Ed Wood of the 21st Century.” Quite simply, to make that claim on one’s own behalf is to misunderstand what Wood was all about. Although his name has been a byword for lousy filmmaking since the 1980’s, when Harry and Michael Medved dubbed him the worst director of all time in their Golden Turkey Awards, at no point did Wood ever aspire to such distinction. Wood made his movies to the best of his abilities, and if his abilities turned out not to be very great, it’s still no slight against the commitment and work ethic that he brought to bear in their service. Frankenstein Stalks, by contrast, represents something close to the absolute minimum of effort that it would be possible to expend while still producing what technically qualifies as a feature motion picture. Someone who understood, appreciated, and respected what Ed Wood put into even his shittiest and most worthless films, and who wanted to honor his example with their own work, would have written a damn script. They would have recruited some damn actors, even if they were just folks from the local community theater who were willing to work for beer on their days off. And they sure as fuck wouldn’t have been content to settle for how Nelson depicted the Frankenstein monster’s ostensible reign of terror. Incredibly, Nelson deemed it good enough to don a rubber Halloween mask and film himself bothering people at random on the streets of Chicago, inside Delilah’s (at least he has good taste in bars…), at that year’s Monster Bash, and at a drive-in theater somewhere, accosting them with tired extemporizations on the theme of “Grr! I’m the monster! I’m Frankenstein! I’m gonna get you!” Understand that it’s not the Halloween mask I’m knocking here. (Well, maybe I’m knocking it a little…) Monster makeup costs money, and you’ve got to cut every corner you can when you’re funding an entire movie out of your own pocket. I get that. What pisses me off is the total lack of planning, foresight, judgement, and basic giving-a-fuck — none of which cost a dime — that this “Candid Camera” prank of a climax reflects. I mean, Nelson didn’t even take the trouble to edit out the several “victims” who refused to cooperate with the stunt! And as if all that weren’t enough, there’s yet another way in which Nelson flatters himself unjustly by claiming Ed Wood’s moth-eaten old mantle: Wood knew when to stop. Most of his pictures ran a trim hour and a quarter or so, but Frankenstein Stalks plods needlessly on for 116 inexcusable minutes!
Everything I’ve just said is kind of beside the point, though, because this “Ed Wood of the 21st Century” business, inapt as it is, serves a practical function. It places — or at any rate, attempts to place — Frankenstein Stalks and the rest of Nelson’s work beyond the reach of critical evaluation. It gives Nelson an excuse to say, “Well of course my movies are terrible! Haven’t you heard? I’m the Ed Wood of the 21st Century!” The nickname is a bid to absolve Nelson of responsibility for putting in the kind of work needed to produce a film of any merit at all, and to make you the asshole for demanding to be engaged, impressed, or even just mildly amused. It’s dishonest and low, and it compounds the affront that Frankenstein Stalks was already committing simply by being this comprehensively bad and boring.
Scott "El Santo" Ashlin on Frankenstein Stalks

Almost to a one, the contributors pull punches and dilute the political conversation to the weakest of teas so the people in the bar and riding the elliptical trainers at the gym don't have to strain to follow the Punch and Judy of it all.

What transpires during the paid contributor segments isn't journalism. It isn't politics. And it's rarely even entertaining. I'd call it the worst sort of tasteless soy filler, only that would be an insult to soy, which is nutritious.
Jack Shafer, writing for Politico: "CNN Dumped Donna Brazile. It Should Keep Going."

Don’t slut-shame, sluts are fine people. They don’t deserve to be compared to such a heinous bitch
— A Reddit comment on this postnote  about Princess Malty/Myne

Web Video

The only reason this film is not a sack of shit is that actual sacks of shit protested that the comparison would be harmful to their image.

It's like a live-action version of Streets of Rage — only less serious.
Good Bad Flicks and Allison Pregler on Lethal (2005)

This movie is so fucking awful, that comparing it to Uwe Boll is an insult to Uwe Boll!

If you thought Twilight was the worst disservice to vampires the world has ever known, [beat] —it is, but this one's pretty bad, too.

The worst thing about CinemaSins Everything Wrong With series isn't that their content is a low effort clickbait garbage fire. It's that they somehow tricked their fans and themselves into thinking that garbage fire is art. Which lowers the bar for art, and for garbage fires.

I could have taken a shit on it, but even my own shit would be offended to lay on this loathsome piece of filth!

This game doesn't even qualify as shit; it's like the equivalent of shit taking a shit!

These guys have the wit of fifth graders. And not bright ones, either.

You know that South Park episode where they claim Family Guy is written by manatees? The manatees should be insulted!

First round pick decides to be a fucking idiot—crashes motorcycle in parking lot. (BUZZER)
First round pick decides to be a fucking idiot—gets into numerous confrontations with the law. (BUZZER)
First round pick decides to be Johnny Football—an insult to the term "fucking idiot". (AIR HORN)

"Instead, this season's main villain is Sendak, aka worst Zarkon, aka basically the Voltron equivalent of Malekith. Okay wait, that's a little to mean. I'm sorry. The Voltron equivalent of Ronan— No, that's a disservice to Ronan actually. The equivalent of the bad guy in Doctor Strange [Kaecilius]. No, the comments are telling me that they liked him. Dammit, you know what; He's just boring! That's it."

Western Animation

“You go through life, you try to be nice to people, you struggle to resist the urge to punch’em in the face, and for what? For some pimply little puke to treat you like dirt unless you’re on a team. Well, I’m better than dirt. Well… most kinds of dirt. Not that fancy store-bought dirt. That stuff’s loaded with nutrients. I – I can’t compete with that stuff.”
Moe, The Simpsons, “Team Homer


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