(Look at those idiots!)
Look at all those boobs!
(An office full of morons!)
A factory full of fools!
Look at all those boobs!
(An office full of morons!)
A factory full of fools!
—"Look At All Those Idiots", The Simpsons Sing the Blues
Pointy-Haired Boss: All of the conference rooms are booked.
Dilbert: Okay, then I guess we should compare the importance of your meeting versus mine.
Pointy-Haired Boss: That's not how it works. Conference rooms go to the highest-ranking manager.
Dilbert: IT TOOK ME MONTHS TO SCHEDULE THIS MEETING!
Pointy-Haired Boss: Scram.
(cut to meeting of Pointy-Haired Bosses)
Pointy-Haired Boss: The goal of this meeting is to figure out why nothing ever gets done around here.
Dilbert: Okay, then I guess we should compare the importance of your meeting versus mine.
Pointy-Haired Boss: That's not how it works. Conference rooms go to the highest-ranking manager.
Dilbert: IT TOOK ME MONTHS TO SCHEDULE THIS MEETING!
Pointy-Haired Boss: Scram.
(cut to meeting of Pointy-Haired Bosses)
Pointy-Haired Boss: The goal of this meeting is to figure out why nothing ever gets done around here.
— Dilbert
Dogbert (presenting his consulting report): I recommend that you reorganize to strengthen the core competency of your company. As luck would have it, your core competency is "Giving Money to Consultants."
Pointy-Haired Boss: I don't think that's the only thing we're good at.
Dogbert: It depends on if you count "Whining."
Pointy-Haired Boss: I don't think that's the only thing we're good at.
Dogbert: It depends on if you count "Whining."
— Dilbert
Kramer: Grinders, sanders, whetstones. They are the ones who botched the Statue of Liberty job.
Jerry: Right, they couldn't get the green stuff off.
George: It is a horrible company. There's no management whatsoever. I could go hog wild in there!
Jerry: Right, they couldn't get the green stuff off.
George: It is a horrible company. There's no management whatsoever. I could go hog wild in there!
—Seinfeld, "The Slicer"
[reading off a company sign] "Work harder, not smarter." Yeah, that's us all right. We stay the course with stupid.
—Gordon Freeman, Freeman's Mind
Incompetent middle management, a sales department that doesn't understand what they're selling, a marketing department that tries to redefine the products to match their ads, executives who don't understand how their products work, an incompetent network administrator, mysterious janitors that make midnight rounds of the buildings doing god-knows-what...
—A summary of Tellus Enterprises' mundane staff, Werewolf: The Apocalypse - Subsidiaries: A Guide To Pentex
"Sales, any luck figuring out who our customers are?"
The Shop, like the FBI and the CIA, had a long history of killing the money. If you can't get what you want with foreign aid, go in there with Thompsons and gelignite and assassinate the bastard. Put some cyanide in Castro's cigars. It was crazy, but you couldn't tell them that. All they could see were RESULTS, blinking and glittering like some mythical Vegas jackpot. So they killed the money and stood there with a bunch of useless green scraps sifting through their fingers and wondered what the hell had happened.
The marketing division of the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation describes an android as "Your Plastic Pal Who's Fun to be With". The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy describes the marketing division of the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation as "a bunch of mindless jerks who'll be the first against the wall when the Revolution comes" (with an additional footnote that the Guide would welcome anyone looking to take over the post of robotics correspondent). Curiously, an edition of the Encyclopaedia Galactica which had fallen through a wormhole in time from a thousand years into the future defined the marketing division of the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation as "a bunch of mindless jerks who were the first against the wall when the Revolution came".
To me, this is the voice of Seegson. An ineffectual boardroom (forever leaking talent to the likes of Weyland-Yutani) sending out nothing but self-deluding missives that have little to no use on Earth – let alone for the real people suffering on a dilapidated space station floating alone on the edge of space. I wanted to make them the masters of corporate double-think – stressing the "everything is okay, we value you" propaganda while the executives themselves look for their next plum job and siphon off what remains of the company gravy train. Space Stations like Sevastopol are Seegson’s white elephant, and even though everyone who works for them knows they’re doomed – the enforced company message that everything is fine has been drummed home, and disbelieved, until the inevitable has taken place.
—Will Porter
, on Seegson
, on SeegsonThe only time they don’t kill civilians is when their own experiments / robots / test subjects / doomday virus / cloned dinosaurs break loose before they get a chance to deploy it, and kills their entire science team. Cerberus is an unintentionally comical mess, the kind you would get if the Umbrella Corporation bought out Cobra Command and hired Wile E. Coyote to run it. Cerberus not only kills civilians, they do so for no reason and with spectacular incompetence, usually in ways that run directly counter to their goals.
Orochi have the means to push things beyond measurable limits. Warning signs are an affront to them, as are notions of balance and consequences. They see a stop sign and they must stake it through the heart of anyone in their way.
We cannot count on them to plug this result into a revised model. In fact, we must expect them to continue making the same mistakes. They will follow Subject Zero with Subject One, then Subject Two, then Subject Three - each more predictably ill-fated than the last.
—Bong Cha, The Secret World
Ken Cosgrove: I've been floating along laterally, but I don't know that it's a love affair. It's better than McCann.
Pete Campbell: What was that like?
Ken Cosgrove: Are you kidding me? It's the worst agency I've ever seen, the worst. My mother was a nurse at the state hospital in Vermont and that was the last time I saw so many retarded people in one building.
Pete Campbell: What was that like?
Ken Cosgrove: Are you kidding me? It's the worst agency I've ever seen, the worst. My mother was a nurse at the state hospital in Vermont and that was the last time I saw so many retarded people in one building.
Joker: You know, I miss the days when Cerberus was just hilariously incompetent. You know, when you two ran things.
Jacob: Excuse me?
Miranda: The only thing I was in charge of was the Lazarus Project. Which, you will note, was very successful.
Joker: [Mockingly] "Commander, this is Cerberus. We were studying some rachni and they got loose and killed all our guys. Can you take care of that? It's one system over from where we hooked some guy up to the geth... who then got loose and killed all our guys."
Shepard: They did rack up quite a body count, but at least back then it was their own bodies.
[...]
Miranda: But we did bring Commander Shepard back.
Shepard: And after taking down the Collectors I cut ties with Cerberus, got loose... and started killing all their guys.
Joker: For which we thank you.
—Mass Effect 3 Citadel DLC
"THIS DOESN'T SEEM LIKE HOW YOU INSTALL A FRIDGE!"
— Bob Muyskens, Distractible ("Bob's Fridge")
")Tom: You were the one who told me companies needed (actually does the air quotes) "clients" to make (air quotes) "revenue".
Ben: I was the first person to tell you that!?
Ben: I was the first person to tell you that!?
