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Quotes / Immortality Hurts

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"You may be immortal, but I can still do damage. How'd you like to spend eternity in five pieces?"

"Immortality hurts."
Finn, Jackie Chan Adventures, after slamming into the back of a tunnel while riding on top of a truck.

"That which is eternal cannot die... but if it's any consolation, sweet Alex, that hurt like hell."
The Djinn, Wishmaster

Deadpool: I can't believe it... I'm alive! (laughing) I'M ALIVE!!!
(the Hulk falls on top of Deadpool, then leaps away)
Deadpool: ... Ow.

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"No, my dear, I don't expect you to die, but there is something exquisite in the agony of a hobbled immortal."
Lilith, The Secret World

"They wished for immortality, now they have it. Realize, upstarts, that agony properly administered can make an instant seem like an eternity, and that an eternity of eternities is a long time in which to suffer."
— Common Tzimisce viewpoint on the Tremere clan, Vampire: The Masquerade

The Doctor: How are you feeling?
Mozart: How do you think? I just fired three bullets into my temple and I'm still here, so rather sore. More than a little disappointed.

"There's a downside to immortality, one that polite company rarely discusses. What you can't kill, you can indefinitely hurt. So, they burn him. Over and over. They cook him to the marrow and then pull apart the charred skeleton like a wishbone in a Hollywood Thanksgiving dinner, before waiting until he has reassembled and doing it all again."
Food Of The Gods by Cassandra Khaw

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One of the girls managed to dart past the nurse today and throw herself over the railing in the lobby. Not certain if she was trying to end her own life or merely escape... but either way, her legs had healed by the time I managed to get down to the first floor where she lay. Now, without proper setting, the rapid healing process had fused her bones back together at odd angles. We had to re-break and set them almost a dozen times, each due to the small window of viability. Now, those children may be immortal, but I can verify: they feel pain.
Edward Grimes, Bioshock 2

We are not among the living, and so we cannot die, but neither are we dead. For too long I've been parched with thirst and unable to quench it. Too long I've been starving to death and haven't died. I feel nothing... not the wind on my face nor the spray of the sea, nor the warmth of a woman's flesh.

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They strapped me to a cannon, I ended up on the bottom of the ocean, the weight of the water crushing down on me. Unable to move... unable to die, Jack. And I thought that even the tiniest hope of escaping this fate... I would take it. I would trade anything for it.
"Bootstrap Bill" Turner, Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest

Ace: What difference does it make? We know we can't die here.
Albert: Just because you'll be brought back to life doesn't mean you won't suffer!
Peggy: You don't want to stay up here, love. I did it once, and believe me, being burned alive isn't much fun.

And no, being burned to ashes won't kill you. Remember Paul? Fell into the acid fountain. They brought him to the infirmary in a chamber pot. He was still conscious. Talked by blowing bubbles in Morse code.
Meryl, Mogworld

The Champion of the Universe: You can't leave me like this!
Thanos: Why not? You are immortal. Floating in space will not kill you... but I imagine the experience will get rather old after a century or two.
The Thanos Quest

Lister: So they can't kill us.
Rimmer: No, but they can inflict limitless agony on us, which has got to be considered a major negative.
Lister: It's not real. It's just an illusion.
The Cat: Well, as illusions go, it's a damned good one, bud. I for one am totally convinced. I cannot move my body, and I feel like someone's stuffed an umbrella in my brain, opened it up, and started twirling it around.
Red Dwarf: Backwards
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