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Quotes / Idiot Programming

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"I'm setting it back to 1986. As far as the computer knows, my last login was ten years in the future."
"They're not big on sanity checks at HQC, are they?"
"Once, by accident, I set the year on this thing to 'printer'."

"Welcome to the newest Game Boy exclusive that is neither exclusive or would fit on a Game Boy, taking up an obscene 40 megabytes. Jesus fuck. Back in my day, you could package two hours worth of content into just three megabytes - with audio! Now we're stuck with bloated engines and developers who don't appreciate the struggle of the data cap, as even a ten minute romp like this must be shoved into the inevitable rise of feature creep, soaking even into the finished products."

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"If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization."
Gerald Weinberg

"Open door, turn on CD32. Insert CD but WAIT with closing door till the music has played. Close door and game will boot automatically. Otherwise it will not boot due to a bug in the CD32 which will not free the memory as it should."
— The instructions on how to start Kang Fu on an Amiga CD32, as featured in The Angry Video Game Nerd's review of the console.

"If these guys made Crysis, you'd only be able to run it on the fucking Starship Enterprise."
Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw, Zero Punctuation review of AMY

"Its programming was modified to enable it to travel through alien dimensions. Seems there might have been an error..."
— The Pokédex entry for Porygon-Z, Pokémon Y and Alpha Sapphire
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