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Quotes / Idiot Plot

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    Literature 
Greta: Almost every single person in this opera is behaving like a complete idiot, and I love it. Can I have more champagne?
Ruthven: The majority of opera plots would fall to bits if any one individual suddenly decided to act sensibly.

How mortals take the gods to task!
All their afflictions come from us, we hear
And what of their own failings? Greed and Folly
double the suffering in the lot of man.
Zeus, in The Odyssey, pointing out how the story of the Trojan War and its aftereffects often amounts to this.

    Live-Action TV 
"I'm just saying that the plan was genuinely dumb! ...as many of our plans are, I now realize."
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    Newspapers 
"Why don't they think? Because no one is allowed to think in this movie. Not one single event in the entire plot can possibly take place unless every character in the cast has brains made of Bac-O-Bits."

    Web Animation 
"It's like every character put their retard hats on that morning by mistake."

    Webcomics 
"It's at times like this that I question my policy of doing whatever dumb thing pops into my head."
Helen, Narbonic

    Web Original 
Chernobyl Diaries: It should have been called Six Dumbasses In Search of a Clue
Slate headline

"Reading a story written by idiots is bad enough, but reading a story written by idiots that's also about idiots is even worse."
Fred Clark, criticizing Left Behind

"So, if I'm understanding this right, the Head-Staplers wanted to be off the planet, but once they got what they wanted, they decided to get revenge. Just read that again and realize how stupid this plot truly is. This film didn't need a rewrite; it needed a bullet between the eyes."

"The government controls the city of Blüdhaven because they're idiots. The Atomic Knights are running around Blüdhaven with no clear end goal because they're idiots. The Secret Society of Super Villains send two teams of nuclear-themed characters into Blüdhaven because they're idiots. Firebrand... is an idiot."
Linkara on The Battle for Blüdhaven

"Can you imagine, say, Jean-Luc Picard bringing his dog down to an alien planet? Yeah, I didn't think so. But even if he did, and that dog whizzed on cultural landmarks, I can only see Picard being swiftly contrite and apologetic, immediately making amends to get that needed component. Hell, I think Wesley Crusher whizzed on some bushes in the first season of TNG, and Picard grovelled his ass off to save the kid. But Archer, as you probably guessed, is about to have a slightly different reaction."

The cruise ship you're on is out of control, taken over by terrorists. They tell you that if you jump off you'll be sucked into the boat's propellers. Do you:

A: Laugh at them for being total idiots and jump off anyway
B: Open the rear ship doors and walk off, past the propellers and at sea level
C: Believe them, even though it's the biggest load of donkey bollocks anyone has ever said to you

Well the answer here is C. And that's the problem. The entire movie is based on the idea that if you step off a cruise ship you'll be sucked under to a certain death. You won't. It's wrong. Totally wrong in every way shape and form.
Chris Parry on Speed 2: Cruise Control

"Much like the events of "A Prime Problem", the basic premise of this episode requires incredible stupidity on the part of the players. In this case, however, those players are the entire human race! Thirty seconds of video footage and the crowd outside City Hall is throwing fruit at the Autobots. Why are the public so quickly swayed after the number of times the Autobots have saved them in the past year or so? What kind of kangaroo court would convict on such incredibly flimsy evidence? What kind of absurdly inept trial lawyers would fail to examine every bit of footage available? How could Berger fail to notice Megatron cackling with mad glee as he sends his foes rocketing into the sun?"

    Web Video 
"That's their ship? A little shuttle?? Admirals always travel around in style on big Federation ships (At the very least an Excelsior class)! But this situation requires even more attention, because we're dealing with a truly priceless advancement in technology. And we're also working with a really sketchy alien race that look like monsters. And they've got five huge, powerful warships. What's to stop them from just killing all the Federation people, takin' the goods and leaving? A couple of ships on our side would strengthen our hand a little in preventing that. But a starship or two there would mess up the plot."

"Goodnight, the stupid is spewing out of these characters like it's Mt. Vesuvius!"
Rowdy C. Moore on the plot of the Star Trek: The Original Series episode, "Turnabout Intruder"

"This story can only happen because everyone's retarded!"
Diamanda Hagan on Urban Gothic, episode 8 "Cry Wolf"

"So as soon as he starts going down, the bitch runs off without any notice to go and try and get a signal...Why wouldn't she just say she's gonna go check for cell phone signals so that last guy waits with the rope and they all don't get trapped down there? Oh, right: because the plot depends on stupidity."
Phelous, reviewing Incubus

"The only reason [stopping Dr. Gero before he creates the Artifical Humans] is an issue is because there would be no story if the characters did the smart thing. So, the story has to turn [the heroes] into idiots who refuse to act on this extremely ominous warning. This scene had to have happened after Trunks returned to the future, because he would have had a psychotic breakdown if he was forced to witness the absolute stupidity swirling through the brains and gurgling out of the mouths of the people he had just entrusted the safety of Earth to."
Dragon Ball Dissection on the Cell Arc

"Okay, let me just clarify what has happened. That asshole literally kidnapped me from across the entire galaxy with neither my knowledge nor consent just so you could make me mystic you up a new set of Dragon Balls because you are all a cavalcade of f***ups. Did I miss anything?"

"Basically, the only reason characters ever walk around in this movie is because they hear something horrifying and they go check it out alone."
Screenwriter, The Nun Pitch Meeting

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     Western Animation 
Edd: We could just go to our house, Eddy.
Eddy: What, and ruin the plot?
Ed, Edd n Eddy, "Knock Knock, Who's Ed?"

"Well, that's our story. Yes, they are all idiots, aren't they?"
The Narrator, Spongebob Squarepants, "Nasty Patty"

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