Fiction
Yukari: Take away their emotional maturity and then... I mean it's like they're exactly the same age.
Kazuma: That's right. They're five.
Ayano & Tiana: I am not! Shut up, don't interrupt me! Stop laughing!
Kazuma: That's right. They're five.
Ayano & Tiana: I am not! Shut up, don't interrupt me! Stop laughing!
Eijiro Kirishima: Also... since when do you act so calm and rational? Usually you're all like...
[Kirishima imagines Bakugo yelling out "DIE, DIE, DIE!!"]
Katsuki Bakugo: I'M ALWAYS CALM AND RATIONAL, YOU RED HAIRED LOSER!!!
Eijiro Kirishima: Yeah, there you are.
[Kirishima imagines Bakugo yelling out "DIE, DIE, DIE!!"]
Katsuki Bakugo: I'M ALWAYS CALM AND RATIONAL, YOU RED HAIRED LOSER!!!
Eijiro Kirishima: Yeah, there you are.
Tsuyu Asui: But Bakugo's always angry, so he'll never be that popular.
Katsuki Bakugo: WHAT'D YOU SAY?! I'LL KICK YOUR ASS!!!
Tsuyu Asui: (Aside Glance) See?
Ted: What's up with you?
Robin: You're always correcting people. I never noticed it before and now it's literally driving me crazy!
Ted: Figuratively— (Robin glares at him)
Robin: You're always correcting people. I never noticed it before and now it's literally driving me crazy!
Ted: Figuratively— (Robin glares at him)
Tagon: I resent that remark.
Pibald: It's "resemble", sir. Don't mix metaphors.
Pibald: It's "resemble", sir. Don't mix metaphors.
"Who says I can't handle it? I can handle it!" said Gregor, obviously not handling it.
Asuka: Wondergirl! Move faster!!! DO SOMETHING, DAMMIT!!!!!!!
Misato: Calm down, Asuka!
Asuka: I'M CALM!!! THAT'S OBVIOUS, ISN'T IT!!?
Misato: Calm down, Asuka!
Asuka: I'M CALM!!! THAT'S OBVIOUS, ISN'T IT!!?
— The Child of Love, chapter 7
Lapis: Let's make Pumpkin the Garnet. You should be the Pearl.
Peridot: I'm nothing like Pearl! [tears up] She is so uptight and sensitive! HOW DARE YOU, I'M LEAVING!
Peridot: I'm nothing like Pearl! [tears up] She is so uptight and sensitive! HOW DARE YOU, I'M LEAVING!
<Pahalial> "ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge" - Charles Darwin
<kionix> wtf? begets isn't a word. quit trying to make up words, fuckface.
<kionix> wtf? begets isn't a word. quit trying to make up words, fuckface.
— Found on
Bash.org
Bash.org"I AM NOT A BIGMOUTH!"
"Well no, but someone has to keep you alive while you go – without supervision the two of you are as likely to kill each other as you are to smite any demons, and Uriel can’t walk anywhere without hurting himself!"
"I can too!" Uriel protested, being sure to stand still so he didn't prove Raphael right.
"I can too!" Uriel protested, being sure to stand still so he didn't prove Raphael right.
Washington: Stop it! I can't stand this. No more bickering. You have to be the most immature soldiers I've ever met!
Grif: Your face is immature.
Washington: Shut up.
Grif: Your face is immature.
Washington: Shut up.
— Red vs. Blue: Reconstruction
Gaston: Ah, LeFou. How is it no woman has snatched you up?
LeFou: [wraps his arms around Gaston] I've been told I'm clingy, but I really don't get it.
LeFou: [wraps his arms around Gaston] I've been told I'm clingy, but I really don't get it.
Vivi: He's a member of the Long-Arm Tribe. There are only two possible reasons one of them would ever put this much effort into anything: for making money, or for causing trouble in some way, shape or form, and a lot of it, at that.
Scratchman Apoo: Apapapapa! That statement is harsh, stereotypical, and downright racist, Your Highness! It also happens to be completely true, both in this instance and in general.
Scratchman Apoo: Apapapapa! That statement is harsh, stereotypical, and downright racist, Your Highness! It also happens to be completely true, both in this instance and in general.
The King: [after throwing his crown out of the window] My son has been avoiding his responsibilities long enough. It's high time he married and settled down.
Grand Duke: [as he rises out of a pile of thrown furniture] Of course, your Majesty, but we must be patient...
The King: I AM PATIENT!!!! [throws an inkwell at the Duke]
Grand Duke: [as he rises out of a pile of thrown furniture] Of course, your Majesty, but we must be patient...
The King: I AM PATIENT!!!! [throws an inkwell at the Duke]
Alicia: It's alright, Reed! I think I'm beginning to get used to Ben's temper tantrums now!
Ben: What temper tantrums? I'm the sweetest, most lovable guy on the team— and I'll pulverise any meathead who says I ain't!!
Ben: What temper tantrums? I'm the sweetest, most lovable guy on the team— and I'll pulverise any meathead who says I ain't!!
— Fantastic Four #34
Professor: You're in denial.
Satan: I deny that!
Satan: I deny that!
War Doctor: Are you capable of speaking without flapping your hands about?
Eleventh Doctor: [exaggerated shrug] Yes! [claps emphatically] ...No.
Eleventh Doctor: [exaggerated shrug] Yes! [claps emphatically] ...No.
The Doctor: Clara, what is happening right now, in this restaurant, to you and me, is more important than your egomania.
Clara: Nothing is more important than my egomania!
The Doctor: ...right, you actually said that.
Clara: Nothing is more important than my egomania!
The Doctor: ...right, you actually said that.
— Doctor Who, "Deep Breath"
"I'm not crazy; my mom had me tested."
— Sheldon Cooper, The Big Bang Theory
"Clearly I lack arrogance, because that would be a flaw."
—Red Mage, 8-Bit Theater
Yang: Great! This is just great! We're stranded, we lost a third of our party, and we've gained a defenseless old lady!
Maria: My name is Maria Calavera, and I am not defenseless! I'm just a little hard of hearing. And blind without my eyes, that are in desperate need of repair... Okay, I'm starting to see your point.
Maria: My name is Maria Calavera, and I am not defenseless! I'm just a little hard of hearing. And blind without my eyes, that are in desperate need of repair... Okay, I'm starting to see your point.
Torres: You order people around, you do things without permission, and whether you realize it or not, you come off as a little insulting. You don't even say "please" or "thank you"!
Chuck: You broke a man's nose just for disagreeing with you, for God's sake! Who the hell are you to talk!?
Chuck: You broke a man's nose just for disagreeing with you, for God's sake! Who the hell are you to talk!?
Doctor Asteroid: You're very contrary today, Circuit!
Circuit: No, I'm Not!
I am not a brat! Take it back! Take it back!
—Ruby Rose, Blazblue Cross Tag Battle
The next person who calls me 'edgy' is getting choked to death.
—Xayah, League of Legends
Bean: You're clearly upset.
Elfo: I'm not upset!
Luci: You kind of said that like you're upset.
Elfo: I'm not upset!
Luci: You kind of said that like you're upset.
Paranoid, this just confirms all my suspicions.
—Jenna Maroney, 30 Rock
Roger: And what's wrong with men like me?
Eve: You don't believe in marriage.
Roger: Ah, come on. I've been married twice.
Eve: Exactly.
Eve: You don't believe in marriage.
Roger: Ah, come on. I've been married twice.
Eve: Exactly.
Amy: You're just as competitive as we are!
Holt: Absurd. I'm more competitive.
Holt: Absurd. I'm more competitive.
Kaname: I'd rather the guy who doesn't have anything great beneath the waist stop acting like I'm the queen of pervy humor!
Nasa: This is literally what I'm talking about!
Nasa: This is literally what I'm talking about!
Mashiro: The three major qualifications for a manga artist who isn't a genius... Qualification 1. Conceit. Seriously believe you are better than others.
Tagaki: Yeah, I've got that but then again, I'm not being conceited. I really do have the talent...
Mashiro: That's what you call being conceited.
Tagaki: Yeah, I've got that but then again, I'm not being conceited. I really do have the talent...
Mashiro: That's what you call being conceited.
— Bakuman。
Dream: You don't listen to me, ever. You're the only person who doesn't ever listen to me. If I tell you to do something, you're like– (bad British accent) "NO, FUCK YOU", (normal voice) –and you go and do the exact opposite–
Tommy: (punching Dream and lighting him on fire) THAT DOES NOT SOUND LIKE ME, THAT DOES NOT SOUND LIKE ME, FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU–
Tommy: (punching Dream and lighting him on fire) THAT DOES NOT SOUND LIKE ME, THAT DOES NOT SOUND LIKE ME, FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU–
"(morphing into the shape of Patrick's crude drawing of her) As if I really look like this!"
—Mrs. Puff, SpongeBob SquarePants
Sally: Who needs strategy meetings? We hit things until they die!
Sylvia: Only you would be so inelegant about it.
Sally: What's that supposed to mean? You think I don't know how to be all lady-ish 'n junk? I'm like a damn graceful gazelle!
Sylvia: Only you would be so inelegant about it.
Sally: What's that supposed to mean? You think I don't know how to be all lady-ish 'n junk? I'm like a damn graceful gazelle!
Archie: You're a true vulgarian, aren't you?
Otto: You're the vulgarian, you fuck!
Peter: Dad, you are one vindictive son of a nun...
Matt: Guilty as charged.
Matt: Guilty as charged.
Cuddy: A disturbingly large proportion of your comments are either racist or sexist.
House: That top makes you look like an Afghani prostitute. Would be an example of that.
House: That top makes you look like an Afghani prostitute. Would be an example of that.
— House, "No More Mr. Nice Guy"
Freyia: Snorri Gunnarsson! You're drunk as a Thurse!
Snorri: As any Viking should be at his jarl's funeral!
Snorri: As any Viking should be at his jarl's funeral!
Dr. Schadenfreude: "No need to go all 'psycho girlfriend' on me."
Jacqueline: (screaming) "I'm not PSYCHO!"
—Igor
Simba: (listing things that would be great if he were king) "No one saying, 'See here'."
Zazu: (trying to deny being among those who Simba is complaining about) "Now, see here!"
Twilight Sparkle: "We know how upset you are about Tank, but you shouldn't take your anger out on your friends."
Rainbow Dash: "WHO SAID ANYTHING ABOUT ANGER?! I didn't say anything about anger! I'm not upset! And I am NOT ANGRY! Do I look angry?!" (scowls)
—My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic, "Tanks for the Memories"
Tommy Pickles: (trying to determine Angelica's idiosyncrasy) "Well, um, you're, um, kinda bossy?"
Angelica Pickles: "What?! I'm not bossy. Hey! Step away from that fly! You babies move over there and you stop sneezing!"
—Rugrats, "Chuckie's a Lefty"
"What kind of hopeless drunk do you take me for? I'll kill you for a beer!"
—Barney Gumble, The Simpsons Wrestling
"I AM NOT ADDICTED! I CAN QUIT MY ADDICTIVE VICES ANYTIME I WANT!"
—Satan, Smiling Friends
Poppet: "I never had you down as a pessimist."
Katsuma: "I'm not; I just think awful things are gonna happen."
—Moshi Monsters the Movie
Cas: You keyed "Psycho" into my locker?/You wrote "Psycho" on my locker in red lipstick?note You're lucky I don't murder you!
Student: Spoken like a true nut job.
Emily: [punching wildly at the air] Great news! There's nothing wrong with me!
Bridgette: Are you sure about that, Pacquiao?
Emily: Dr. Glandz mentioned some nonsense about stress, but little does she know, I'm immune to it.
[She smashes a picture frame with her fist]
Alex: Ooh, "immune" feels like too strong of a word.
Bridgette: Are you sure about that, Pacquiao?
Emily: Dr. Glandz mentioned some nonsense about stress, but little does she know, I'm immune to it.
[She smashes a picture frame with her fist]
Alex: Ooh, "immune" feels like too strong of a word.
—Close Enough, "100% No Stress Day"
Steve: "You're insane."
Princess Celestia: "Would an insane pony do this? (makes her belly button into a mouth) You saying you don't want to give me a rub? That's rather rude of you, human! No soft and gentle wubs for little ol' me?"
Steve: (nods) "That's exactly what an insane pony would do, actually. Also, 'wubs'? How childish are you?"
Celestia: "Childish? I'll have you know I am a very adult alicorn princess. And, besides, it was my tummy that used that word, not me."
Farnsworth: You people are as loud as you are ignorant. Now, get back on your turnip trucks and go home!
(The mob boos him)
Moon Turnip Farmer: That is an insultingly accurate stereotype, sir!
—Futurama, "A Clockwork Origin"
Peter Parker: Spider-Man wasn't trying to attack the city, he was trying to save it. That's slander.
J. Jonah Jameson: It is not. I resent that. Slander is spoken. In print, it's libel.
Cartman: This is the way of the future, Mr. Garrison.
Butters: It's true!
Cartman: Heh, that's right. Butters will back me up on anything. He's such a bitch.
Butters: (laughs) Heheheh, yeah!
Butters: It's true!
Cartman: Heh, that's right. Butters will back me up on anything. He's such a bitch.
Butters: (laughs) Heheheh, yeah!
—South Park, "#REHASH"
Mario: Go in a corner and smash some stuff, smash monkey!
Donkey Kong: [while throwing and smashing stuff] I! AM! MORE! THAN A GUY! WHO SMASHES THINGS!!!
Donkey Kong: [while throwing and smashing stuff] I! AM! MORE! THAN A GUY! WHO SMASHES THINGS!!!
"Loud? LOUD?! FOR YOU OF ALL PEOPLE TO— Nevermind."
— The Judge, Warhammer 40,000: Darktide
Auriel: Do try to keep a level head, brother.
Imperius: I ALWAYS KEEP A LEVEL HEAD!
Imperius: I ALWAYS KEEP A LEVEL HEAD!
Web Original
The other day, a total stranger accused me of being a hipster. I was so outraged, I almost crashed my Penny Farthing.
Lou gets mad, and calls Eddie a 'stupid fucking hothead'. Well, it turns out that the word 'hothead' is Eddie’s trigger phrase, because he goes on an almost entirely incoherent rant while walking towards the camera. I’d love to transcribe it for you, but the DVD has no subtitles, and it’s not closed captioned for the hearing impaired. However, I will try.
Eddie: [high pitched yelping] Hothead? I’m a hothead? [back to normal voice, yelling] A hothead, huh? I’ll show you a fucking hothead, man! I’ll show you who’s a hothead! [incoherent babbling followed by what I think is “asshole”, but probably isn’t since it was left alone in the edited for TV version. I’m fairly certain he also barks like a raspy Chihuahua. ]
Eddie: [high pitched yelping] Hothead? I’m a hothead? [back to normal voice, yelling] A hothead, huh? I’ll show you a fucking hothead, man! I’ll show you who’s a hothead! [incoherent babbling followed by what I think is “asshole”, but probably isn’t since it was left alone in the edited for TV version. I’m fairly certain he also barks like a raspy Chihuahua.
]—The Agony Booth on Deadfall (1993)
Deadfall (1993)Real talk: Taylor Swift is the thinnest-skinned celebrity alive. She does not take criticism well. She takes criticism worse than Eminem, Lindsay Lohan, and Kim Jong-Un combined. You could give her the mildest critique and she'll dedicate 10 pages in her Burn Book to you...You don't have to know that she's already responded to her critics several times, or that she can't take the slightest joke about herself; All you have to do is listen to the song. If you are so bothered by someone saying that you "stay out too late" that you have to write a song in response, you have officially failed to "Shake It Off".
Akin is of course most famous for losing his run for a Senate seat in 2012. During the campaign, Akin managed to elicit angry reactions from sane and decent people across the United States when he argued that there was no need for an exception to abortion laws to account for rape victims who had become pregnant, since "legitimate rape" cannot result in pregnancy... AFA spokesman Bryan Fischer, never one to let himself be outcrazied, later claimed that Akin`s "completely accurate" statements were living proof that the Republican Party is not "the stupid party".
—Encyclopedia of American Loons on Rep. Todd Akin (R-MO)
on Rep. Todd Akin (R-MO)Gamers aren't a load of angry, Mountain-Dew-swilling, violence-hungry sociopaths. Many gamers are well-read intellects — many, not most — with a capacity to feel for characters and take on challenging, more mature storytelling. And for the record, many of us have switched over to Diet Mountain Dew. Like adults.
"NO! I'M NOT FUCKING ANGRY! SHUT UP!"
drakensberg: The reading comprehension and overall common sense on this website is piss poor.
poupon: how dare you say we piss on the poor
poupon: how dare you say we piss on the poor
