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Quotes / Hyper-Competent Sidekick

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Hayasaka: But are you sure you'll be okay? Are you sure you can do it by yourself?
Kaguya: Please don't make it sound like I'm utterly helpless without you, Hayasaka.
(Not five minutes later)
Kaguya: Save me, Hayasaka!


Your job, Jurgen, is to know my needs before I do.
Commissar Ciaphas Cain

Collot d'Herbois, incredulous, half-contemptuous, did not altogether approve of these schemes, which seemed to him wild and uncanny; he liked the direct simplicity of a summary trial, of the guillotine, or of his own well stage-managed "Noyades." He did not feel that any ridicule or dishonour would necessarily paralyze a man in his efforts at intrigue, and would have liked to set Chauvelin's authority aside, to behead the woman upstairs and then to take his chance of capturing the man later on.
The Elusive Pimpernel, Chapter 24

"What the king dreams, the Hand builds."
"The king eats, and the Hand takes the shit."
— Popular sayings about the office of Hand of the King, A Song of Ice and Fire


    Live-action TV 

Crow: So, the hero is this guy; I think it's time we faced that fact.
Mystery Science Theater 3000 episode Puma Man about the titular hero's sidekick Vadinho.

Tom Paris (as "Captain Proton"): You're Constance Goodheart; you're my secretary.
Seven of Nine: Secretary.
Tom: Yeah! You tag along on all the missions. Now, I want you to keep the robot occupied while I save Earth. Computer, run program!
Robot: citizen of earth! surrender! do no resist!
Seven: I am Borg. (jams hand into the robot's chest, yanking out cables) The robot has been neutralized. May I leave now?
Star Trek: Voyager, "Night"

Al is my assistant. He assists me.
— A less-than-honest Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor, Home Improvement

"The advantage of being Leslie's boss is that she does everything herself and there are never any problems. Which means for the next week, I can sit in a lawn chair and read this book about old boats."
Ron, Parks and Recreation: "Harvest Festival"

    Video Games 

A good roadie knows that it's his job to make someone else look good, keep someone else safe, help someone else do what they were put here to do. A good roadie stays out of the spotlight; if he's doing his job right, you don't even know he was there. Once in a while, they might step on stage to fix a problem, to set something right, but then before you realize why he was there, or what he did, he's gone.
Eddie Riggs, Brütal Legend


Balthazar: Opal, this is just one of the reasons why you'd make a much better general than me.
Opal: I'm fine where I am. My hands are already full keeping you on a leash!

    Web Original 

Tenchi is more like whomever Madonna marries. Just dragged along for the ride... He's the Charlie Brown of anime.

'Stone Cold' Steve Austin: Former 6-time WWF World Champion. 3-time Royal Rumble winner. King of the Ring. Pro Wrestling Illustrated’s #1 wrestler twice. WWE Hall of Famer. 'Sheriff' of Raw. Podcast host. Arguably one of the most popular wrestlers of all time. Star of movies such as The Condemned, Hunt To Kill, and some other movies you’ve probably never seen. All-around badass.

Steven Seagal: Martial artist. Akido instructor. 'Actor'. 'Producer'. 'Screen writer'. 'Musician'. Star of Steven Seagal: Lawman. Reincarnated Buddhist. Energy Drink sponsor. BFF with Vladimir Putin. Star of movies such as Under Siege, Above the Law, and over 25 direct-to-DVD movies. All-around ass.

Henry (Vinnie Jones): Cody's right hand man, and a hell of a lot more heroic than the purported main character. At the very least, he looks like he can run from one side of a room to the other without his heart exploding.
The Agony Booth on Submerged (2005)

Realistically, he could fly over everything in the game, go straight to Robotnik and smash him into oblivion with his invincibility. The only way Sonic could do any of this is if Tails carried him around, so who's the sidekick here?

It should be a great story for the Doctor as portrayed by anybody, because he gets to enjoy a reunion with the Brigadier (Nicholas Courtney can usually develop chemistry with any actor in the titular role) and face a moral dilemma that any actor worth his salt would get his teeth into. In both of these instances, Davison lets the side down; his reaction to the Brigadier’s amnesia is one of mild annoyance where some passion might have knocked the memories back into him, and he emotes the end of episode three (‘It would mean the end of me as a Time Lord!‘) like he is telling a kid what is on the menu tonight (replace with ‘it would mean fingers and chips for tea tonight‘ and you’ll see what I mean)...Compared with the complexities that Nicholas Courtney is working into his performance, Davison's is sadly deficient.

David: Lois’s hypeman speech once Clark saves her was a) stolen from Pulp Fiction and b) totally against the idea of Superman. AND SUPERMAN WILL STRIKE DOWN UPON THEE WITH GREAT VENGEANCE AND FURIOUS ANGER!
Chris: That was one of the few parts of the episode I actually liked. Lois is totally the kind of girl who would quote Pulp Fiction at the only people who wouldn’t know the reference just to play on their fear of the Bible. I can’t believe I’m defending this, but I do kind of like the idea that Smallville Clark just totally lets Lois do whatever she wants once she gets going.
David: That just seems to me a side effect of the fact that Clark basically lets anybody do whatever they want once they get going.
Chris: Touche.
—Chris Sims and David Uzumeri on Smallville ("Harvest")

    Web Video 

He comes home from saving charges all day to Piper's shrill, nagging voice, and still fixes the house afterwards. And really, Leo is the only reason they're alive. He's their favorite deus ex machina: he heals them from near-death, like, every episode; gets information from the Elders; and orbs people wherever they want to go. They literally do not know what to do without him. How are these women the most powerful witches in the universe? HOW?
Allison Pregler on Charmed's Leo Wyatt

Travel alone... or with a nearly immortal unmovable teleporting companion, which really makes you wonder why you are the hero everyone keeps talking about.

But Steve, you take credit for work that other people do. Did your fat beard Wasniak write these raps for you, too?
Epic Rap Battles of HistorySteve Jobs vs Bill Gates


    Western Animation 

Mayor Manx: That ghost means to kill me!
Callie: Yes. And you're the only one who can stop him!
Mayor Manx: MEEE?!! Then we're doomed. DOOMED I tell you!''
SWAT Kats, "The Ghost Kat"


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