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A gaggle of artistic temperaments
Individually, your performers are admirably talented. However, put them in the same room and they quarrel like hyenas over the last gazelle.

Real Life

It’s entertaining—everybody knows somebody like that Bob guy. (Richard Dreyfuss and I) didn’t get along on the movie particularly, but it worked for the movie. I mean, I drove him nuts, and he encouraged me to drive him nuts.

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How about it? Funny movie. Terribly unpleasant experience. We didn’t get along, me and Bill Murray. But I’ve got to give it to him: I don’t like him, but he makes me laugh even now. I’m also jealous that he’s a better golfer than I am. It’s a funny movie. No one ever comes up to you and says, “I identify with the patient.” They always say, “I have patients like that. I identify with your character.” No one ever says that they’re willing to identify with the other character.

He didn't speak to me for the whole year we were filming. At first I thought it was to do with the characters - because there was supposed to be tension between us, but then I realised - he just didn't like me.

There are two things I will never do in my life. I will never climb Mount Everest, and I will never work with Val Kilmer again. There isn't enough money in the world.

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I didn’t warm to him. His demeanour was neither friendly, nor inclusive. He behaved much as one might expect a child to behave who had been indulged and led to believe that life revolved around them. There was certainly none of the professional respect that one would expect to be shared when two programmes combine for a special purpose. Even though we were on the Tardis set, it was very much his territory and his agenda.

I hated that bastard.

I walked into a restaurant the night before our big scene in the Riddler's lair and the maitre'd said, "You're working with Tommy Lee Jones, aren't you?" And I said "Yeah, I am". He said, "He's in the back corner, he's having dinner". I said, 'Oh, great, I'll go say hi.' I went up to say hi and the blood drained from his face, in such a way that I realized that I had become the face of his pain or something. He got up, kind of shaking, and hugged me and said "I hate you. I really don't like you". I was like 'Wow, okay. Well, what's going on man?' And he said, "I cannot sanction your buffoonery". He did not want to work with me at that point.

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The best time I ever had with Joan Crawford was when I pushed her down the stairs in Baby Jane.

There isn't enough money in Hollywood to make me work with Joan Crawford again. And I like money.

I don't mean to speak ill of the dead, but he was a prick.

Filming with Barbra Streisand is an experience which may have cured me of movies.
Kris Kristofferson

Dennis Miller was the biggest dick I've ever worked with in the history of my career. He was terrible to the crew, treated people like shit, very disrespectful, very snobby. People would say "good morning" to him, and he would just ignore them or walk past them and grunt or something. He was just very rude. Actually, we got in a fight because of the way he was treating people; I couldn't stand to watch it. When I'm on a set, I feel like we're all there together, we're a team, we're there working as a family, and no one person is higher than another. They always do the star trip, like, "This star's got the bigger trailer, that star's got more assistants," or whatever, but to me that's all just a bunch of ego bullshit, and I don't buy into it. I don't play that whole game. For me, as long as I've got nice quarters to relax in between shots... We're all there to work, so it's a dig-in-and-put-your-nose-to-the-grindstone kind of thing. And Dennis Miller was the opposite of that. He literally was not only just rude and disrespectful to everybody, but he was doing crazy things like... I remember one day he stole a van from the transportation department in Vancouver and just decided to take off and drive around because he didn't feel like being on the set anymore. Now, anybody who knows anything about the movie industry knows, "Don't fuck with the Teamsters." You can do anything you want, but don't fuck with the Teamsters. And that's exactly what he did. I could go on and on about it, but the bottom line is that I was a huge fan of Dennis Miller's when I took that project on, I was very excited about the opportunity to work with him, and it was really my first lesson in learning that it's sometimes best to leave people on the screen. When you get to meet them and get to know them and find out who they really are, it's very disheartening. Dennis Miller was definitely my slap in the face to that cold, hard reality. The other thing was that when he went out there to promote the film, he didn't even do good by the promotion. He literally went on the late-night talk shows and said, "Don't go see this film, because it sucks!" I mean, he killed the box office singlehandedly. But the movie itself I actually really enjoyed. I thought that Angie (Everhart) was great, Erika Eleniak was great, Chris Sarandon was great. There were a lot of great actors, which definitely gave it the support that Dennis was lacking. And the film overall, the writing, the direction... Gilbert Adler did a great job directing it. I thought it was very funny. I love the Tales from the Crypt franchise because, again, it's the comedy-horror thing which I think works so well. I really enjoyed doing the episodic version, the television series. And I think I would've had a lot more fun doing that film if anybody else was playing the lead role.

Tom (Holland) and Whoopi (Goldberg) hated each other, it was a tense set. I've never seen two people hate each other more. I don't think she liked him from the get-go, and second of all Whoopi wanted to do an anti-drug film and that's not what the film was.

Raquel Welch is someone I can live without. We've got some love scenes together and I am dreading them!

Raquel Welch is the rudest, most unprofessional actress I've ever had the displeasure of working with, and if I could, I would spank her from here to Aswan.

One time, we were on location at an ice rink and Diana and Peter were drinking champagne inside. Of course I wasn't invited as Peter was there. I could see them through the window, but the crew were all outside stomping around on the ice trying to keep warm. So, when she got in the car, I went for her. She couldn't drive the car properly and I got in to her about her drinking and things like that. Then she jumped out and started shouting 'he's attacking me in the car!' I called her a so-and-so for not considering the crew who were freezing their butts off outside. And it wasn't that at all in the end, as she was sick that night, and I was at fault for getting in to her about it. I think everyone gets upset at one time.

I was contracted so I couldn't get out of it. I feel very strongly about that monster. I made my feelings clear on set but got myself in make-up and put my gear on - including rubber hands so I wouldn't be infected if I touched him - and went in. We did the scene and I promptly left.
Tim Roth on working with Charlton Heston

I spent the entire time refereeing fights between Jim Brown and Raquel Welch.

The issue was not only that they did not get along, they got along and then one day they didn't — absolutely didn't get along. None of us were privy to what had happened.

Working with Burt Reynolds was terrible. The first day Burt came in he made me cry. He said something about not taking second place to a woman. His behavior was shocking. It never occurred to me that I wasn't someone's equal. I left the room sobbing. I called my husband and said, "I don't know what to do." He said, "You just do the job." It got to be very hostile because the crew began taking sides. But as for the performance, I was able to put the negativity aside. I'm not convinced Burt was.

I've been on sets where things weren't relaxed because someone was creating tension for no reason.

I'm contractually obliged to like you.

Rogelio: I am glad I never had a baby with you, you diabolical shrew.
Darci: And I'm glad I never tarnished my DNA by co-mingling it with yours.
Narrator: So yeah, that true love schtick? All for the cameras.
Jane the Virgin: "Chapter Fifty-Five", on Rogelio and Darci's reality show.

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