Live-Action TV
Rogelio: I am glad I never had a baby with you, you diabolical shrew.
Darci: And I'm glad I never tarnished my DNA by co-mingling it with yours.
Narrator: So yeah, that true love schtick? All for the cameras.
Darci: And I'm glad I never tarnished my DNA by co-mingling it with yours.
Narrator: So yeah, that true love schtick? All for the cameras.
— Jane the Virgin: "Chapter Fifty-Five", on Rogelio and Darci's reality show.
Nicolas Cage: They probably think I'm the biggest jerk who's ever been on the show!
Lorne Michaels: No, no. That would be Steven Seagal.
Lorne Michaels: No, no. That would be Steven Seagal.
Radio
"We were in rehearsals for Executive Decision. I’m playing his Master Sergeant, and we come in for rehearsals and he says, ‘I’m in command. Everything I say is law. Anybody doesn’t agree?-’ I was like, ‘Bwahahaha.’ I started cracking up because he sounded like a retard … He came up and he Taekwondo’ed my ass against the brick wall... He’s six-foot-five and he caught me off guard and knocked all of the air out of me and I was like, ‘Why?! Why?!' I really wanted to say how big and fat he was and that he runs like a girl, but I didn’t because all I could say was, 'Why?!' Why’d he slam me against the wall? We were rehearsing."
"I went up to say hi, and the blood drained from his face, in such a way that I realized that I had become the face of his pain or something. He got up, kind of shaking, and hugged me and said, 'I hate you. I really don't like you.' I was like 'Wow, okay. Well, what's going on man?' And he said, 'I cannot sanction your buffoonery.'"
Stand-Up Comedy
"Who's the nicest celebrity you know?"
Adam Sandler!
"Who's the biggest jerk?"
Gary Busey!
Adam Sandler!
"Who's the biggest jerk?"
Gary Busey!
—Thomas F. Wilson, "Biff's Question Song"
Video Games
A gaggle of artistic temperaments
Individually, your performers are admirably talented. However, put them in the same room and they quarrel like hyenas over the last gazelle.
Web Original
It's almost as if Tom Baker has become so unbearable at this point the writers are instructed to keep him away from the other guest performers as long as possible (where he will inform them the script is "whippet shit" whilst tossing it at their heads and make them question why they agreed to take part in the first place).
Were Duchovny and Anderson getting on so badly that instead of interacting with each other they had to be separated and forced to perform these hideous monologues into microphones instead? By the time the fifth or sixth voiceover kicks in you might try reaching for the cyanide.
Here’s where the wheels begin to fall off. While the first two collaborations feature Reynolds as a likable yet rough around the edges guy, here (as in the next three films we’ll examine) he’s just a moody, egotistical douche bag. I think that somewhere along the line for Reynolds, life began to imitate art.
Who would have thought that a biopic about a lady who sells hangers on HSN would cause so much damn DRAMA. Actually, scratch that – David O. Russell could make a movie about your bland aunt trying to decide which shade of light beige to paint her hallway, and every day on set would still end in an expletive-laced screaming match.
—DListed
, "David O. Russell Got Into A Dramatic On-Set Screaming Match With His Boo Jennifer Lawrence"
, "David O. Russell Got Into A Dramatic On-Set Screaming Match With His Boo Jennifer Lawrence"Because Fifty Shades of Grey is a sex movie, Dakota Johnson and Jamie Dornan have routinely been asked about sex. Because Dakota Johnson and Jamie Dornan seem to dislike at least this specific sort of sex (fake sex, with a person they hate, in a movie they made for a job they regret), they routinely display discomfort (ranging from wide-eyed confusion to intense aversion) when talking about sex, in general.
—Kelly Conaboy, "50 Shades of Sigh"
, "50 Shades of Sigh"Web Video
"I'm contractually obliged to like you."
—The Nostalgia Critic on an awkward scene between William Shatner and James Doohan in Star Trek: Generations.
Real Life
"I hated that bastard".
"The best time I ever had with Joan Crawford was when I pushed her down the stairs in Baby Jane".
"There isn't enough money in Hollywood to make me work with Joan Crawford again. And I like money".
"Raquel Welch is someone I can live without. We've got some love scenes together and I am dreading them!"
"Raquel Welch is the rudest, most unprofessional actress I've ever had the displeasure of working with, and if I could, I would spank her from here to Aswan".
"I don't mean to speak ill of the dead, but he was a prick".
"She couldn't drive the car properly and I got in to her about her drinking and things like that. Then she jumped out and started shouting 'he's attacking me in the car!' I called her a so-and-so for not considering the crew who were freezing their butts off outside. And it wasn't that at all in the end, as she was sick that night, and I was at fault for getting in to her about it. I think everyone gets upset at one time".
"I spent the entire time refereeing fights between Jim Brown and Raquel Welch".
—Burt Reynolds on making 100 Rifles
"Filming with Barbra Streisand is an experience which may have cured me of movies".
"I defecated in her trailer, much to the chagrin of Bill Paxton...I’d been threatening everyone that if they didn’t treat me right, I was going to take a dump in their trailer, or that I’d go take a shit in Joel [Silver’s] office, on his desk or something".
"When he went to Columbia, I looked at the front page of the Calendar section of the Los Angeles Times, and he was quoted as saying, 'Dustin Hoffman is the most malevolent person I've ever worked with'. Being the intellectual that I am, I had to look the word up".
—Dustin Hoffman on David Puttnam, producer of Ishtar
"Bill just got drunk at dinner. He was an Irish drunken bully, is what he was...He came back from dinner and I said, 'Read this, I think it's really funny'. And he put his face next to me, nose-to-nose. And he screamed at the top of his lungs, 'Everyone hates you! You are tolerated!'"
—Richard Dreyfuss on dodging a thrown ashtray while shooting What About Bob?
"There are two things I will never do in my life. I will never climb Mount Everest, and I will never work with Val Kilmer again. There isn't enough money in the world."
"I remember one day he stole a van from the transportation department in Vancouver and just decided to take off and drive around because he didn't feel like being on the set anymore. Now, anybody who knows anything about the movie industry knows, 'Don't fuck with the Teamsters.' You can do anything you want, but don't fuck with the Teamsters. And that's exactly what he did. I could go on and on about it, but the bottom line is that I was a huge fan of Dennis Miller's when I took that project on, I was very excited about the opportunity to work with him, and it was really my first lesson in learning that it's sometimes best to leave people on the screen".
"The issue was not only that they did not get along, they got along and then one day they didn't — absolutely didn't get along. None of us were privy to what had happened".
"Working with Burt Reynolds was terrible. The first day Burt came in he made me cry. He said something about not taking second place to a woman. His behavior was shocking. It never occurred to me that I wasn't someone's equal. I left the room sobbing. I called my husband and said, "I don't know what to do." He said, "You just do the job." It got to be very hostile because the crew began taking sides. But as for the performance, I was able to put the negativity aside. I'm not convinced Burt was".
"I was contracted so I couldn't get out of it. I feel very strongly about that monster. I made my feelings clear on set but got myself in make-up and put my gear on - including rubber hands so I wouldn't be infected if I touched him - and went in. We did the scene and I promptly left".
"He didn't speak to me for the whole year we were filming. At first I thought it was to do with the characters — because there was supposed to be tension between us, but then I realised — he just didn't like me".
"I've been on sets where things weren't relaxed because someone was creating tension for no reason."
"The worst diva moments I ever had, without a doubt — two shows that are neither Buffy nor Star Trek — I hated the ladies [on] Charmed. And there's a reason why they were cast as witches".
—Armin Shimerman on his favorite guest appearance
"This is Jessica Walter. She is a national goddamned treasure. It was an honor and a privilege to work with her. I don’t give a fuck who you think you are or how good you think you are or how awesome you think your buddy/daddy is: screaming at someone isn’t “part of the business”. It’s bullshit. It’s unhinged bullshit behavior and it has NEVER been acceptable. It wasn’t cool in the 70’s or 80’s or whenthefuckever you “came up”. It was bullshit then, it is bullshit now. And excusing that kind of behavior is pathetic. Just pathetic. I worked in shitty greasy-spoon kitchens growing up: it wasn’t acceptable behavior THERE and most of us were on HEAVY DRUGS. It certainly isn’t acceptable for some man-baby millionaire to do on a cozy ass tv show set."
—Thomas Sadoski on Jeffrey Tambor
Clayne Crawford: You're the biggest crybaby pussy I've ever met in my life.
Damon Wayans: Suck this "pussy's" dick.
Clayne: How does it feel to only be in the game because your fucking brothers are in the game?
Damon Wayans: Suck this "pussy's" dick.
Clayne: How does it feel to only be in the game because your fucking brothers are in the game?
—Lethal Weapon co-stars caught on tape
The "nice" John you read on the blog, who just happens to have a curmudgeonly streak, is an anomaly we rarely saw. The whole thing is the streak. Some of his online fans got the Dr. Jekyll version of him. Others had a whole crew's worth of Mr. Hyde unleashed on them.
—Animator Robyn Byrd on John Kricfalusi
"I was a green kid so far as film was concerned. Instead of helping me, McGavin looked on me with contempt. He did everything but destroy me on camera. Like we’d run through a scene a couple of times, and then, just before the camera rolled, he’d say to me under his breath, 'You’re not going to play it that way, are you?' and what little confidence I had would go right down the drain."
"I didn't warm to him. His demeanour was neither friendly, nor inclusive. He behaved much as one might expect a child to behave who had been indulged and led to believe that life revolved around them. There was certainly none of the professional respect that one would expect to be shared when two programmes combine for a special purpose. Even though we were on the TARDIS set, it was very much his territory and his agenda."
