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Quotes / Hopeless Auditionees

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"I'd never been to an audition before. It was upsetting... a grotesque carnival of human misery."
Jack Donaghy, 30 Rock

American Idol is a lot like spandex. By showcasing marginally talented singers alongside total train wrecks, it makes the average ass look great and the horrible ass look even more horrible than it already is.

"You can't sing, you can't dance, so what do you want me to say?"
Simon Cowell to William Hung following his audition singing Ricky Martin's "She Bangs," American Idol