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Quotes / Holodeck Malfunction

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"Oh, no! It's finally happened! They've disappeared into the simulation! Trapped! As my favorite sci-fi scenarios have foretold!"
Dr Disaster, Gunnerkrigg Court

"I like that Sisko wakes up and almost immediately suspects he was wandered into a holodeck programme. 'Sisko to Ops. Sisko to Security. Computer, freeze programme. End programme. Exit.' I wonder if there’s like a manual for these situations which teaches you that if you wake up in a strange surreal environment with crazy stuff going on, just assume the holodeck is acting up again."
Darren Mooney on Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, "Move Along Home"

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"Yessir, whatcha got here, see, is yer standard busted holodeck story. I'm bettin' y'all got a malfunction in yer holodeck safety system, too."
SF Debris on Star Trek: Voyager, "Heroes and Demons"

"So you are telling me that before her death Seska rewrote the ending of Tuvok’s holonovel to her own designs where she can control the doors to the holodeck and turn the safeties off and murder whoever is playing…this is so implausible! She predicted that she would turn into the villain of the series before she was outed and wrote this programme to mirror that? Talk about the crew that couldn’t shoot straight! They really come across a bunch of monkeys as Seska’s programme (remember she is dead) runs rings around them."
Doc Oho on Star Trek: Voyager, "Worst Case Scenario"

Moriarty: Right-o gents, it's another simulation gone mad, so, murder and mayhem, standard procedure.
Evil Lincoln: Real holographic simulated Evil Lincoln is back!
[History's Greatest Villains chase Kif and Amy out of the holo-shed, onto the ship's bridge.]
Kif: The holo-shed's on the fritz again! The characters turned real!
Zap Brannigan: Damn! The last time that happened, I got slapped with three paternity suits.
Futurama, "Kif Gets Knocked Up a Notch"

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Roll: Proto Man! The holographic matrix has gone haywire!
Proto Man: Not again!
X: This happens a lot?
Proto Man: Actually, now that you mention it, this has happened every single time we've used it. I'm starting to think we should really get it fixed.

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