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Quotes / Guide Dang It!

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Don’t be discouraged, just read Nintendo Power
Or call the Nintendo Power Line number
Or just get the strategy guide

Video Games

...Space Quest IV will give you hours of frustration unless you have this hintbook. Want to know how to get the dog into the hanging basket? Want to find out how to attach the melon? Buy this hintbook and it all becomes obvious.

Web Animation

"Think of the game like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde for the NES for example. Everybody should play this game if you want to get into game design. It's a perfect example of doing nothing to teach the player about its limits and goals. Nothing in this game seems to make sense. Stuff happens at random, people hurt you, some people don't, you walk backwards as Mr. Hyde, and I don't know! ...Just play this game for two minutes and you will understand how poorly you can teach a player how to play your stupid game."

"This is one game where there's officially no shame in looking up the FAQ."

Web Original

Iolo: Remind me again why we're doing any of this?
Steve: Obviously, to get the jawbone so that we can teleport to Monk Isle and get me a spellbook.
Iolo: But there's no way you would have known that Erstam had any such thing, or that it could get you there. You just arbitrarily decided we'd go look for the Mad Mage!

Web Video

"Enter a magical world where the only limits are your imagination—and constant references to the wiki to figure out how everything works."
Honest Trailers on Minecraft

"A game should hold your hand a little bit to show you what the fuck you're supposed to do. Even Dark Souls does that!"

"The townspeople don't help that much. They might as well just say, 'Get the Power! Nintendo Power!'"

"Presently, this information can only be obtained by watching my YouTube videos. That's poor game design."
YandereDev, "Let's Examine Hitman"

"I tried so many things to stop or survive his tornado thing, and none of them worked. Wanna know why? It's because you're supposed to run all the way to the end and crouch, and Sub Zero automatically grabs onto this ledge. There's nothing there to convey that you have to crouch at the end. No hints, no clues, nothing. That's cheap, and fuck this game for doing it."

If you take the normal route and not the secret one, you'll get the insult of your life. You'll see Joi fall into a trap and DIE! You'll see "Voce perdeu", translating to You lost. So after all that shit you went through, it turns out you lost. You can get a good ending, though it's invisible. It's hiding behind an invisible door over some lava. How are you supposed to guess that?!
Levelengine, reflecting on the 2012 version of O Ninja Negro in his list of worst Super Mario World hacks.

"Now I don't know HOW you're supposed to figure this out..."
HC Bailly, using one of his catch-phrases.

"It's where some critical piece of information is obscured or the game neglects to even provide to you in the first place. In this case, it was the jellyfishing've literally caught every jellyfish in a whole freaking area, but the counter always says 84 and the guy says he wants 100, and he's all the way back at the beginning of the level, so you don't want to backtrack all the way there for nothing!"

"They went absolutely loopy-loo, stuck in the loo with these boxes! The same applies to the hidden gems, where I managed to find 36 of them by myself, which I am proud of. But then I couldn't find the one on Shipping Error because that defies all common sense and doesn't give you a single hint about it, and Run It Bayou. Which doesn't only hide a switch crate therenote , of all places, but then expects you to go back and figure out that the new crates that you're supposed to stand on are over herenote ! How in the screw-shaped bums did anyone figure that out without a guide?!"

"However, after years of getting killed by that same Werewolf, I found out you can actually kill it. What the hell? How was I supposed to know that you're actually meant to run into the Observatory, flip the circuit breaker outside, run back in, open the dome, lure it into the dome and crush it to death? How the hell was I supposed to know that? The answer is: I didn't! I had to look it up on the wiki!"
SsethTzeentach on the infamous Werewolf encounter in Vampire: The Masquerade – Bloodlines

Real Life

To get anywhere in Hunt Down the Freeman you need both a walkthrough and a list of glitches handy. It’s that broken and obtuse.


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