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Quotes / Good Angel, Bad Angel

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There's a devil and an angel on your shoulder, it's true,
they're always fighting, making a fool out of you.
The Underscore Orkestra, "Blue Draggish"

Dr. Dre: Alright, stop!
Eddie: Huh?
Dr. Dre: Now before you walk in the door of this liquor store
and try to get money out the drawer
You better think of the consequence
Eddie: But who are you?
Dr. Dre: I'm your motherfuckin conscience
Slim Shady: That's nonsense!
Go in, gaffle the money and run to one of your aunt's cribs
and borrow a damn dress, and one of her blonde wigs
Tell her you need a place to stay, you'll be safe for days
If you shave your legs with Renee's razor blades
The Slim Shady LP, "Guilty Conscience"

Devil Orange: You should tell Cucumber his mother's a pickle!
Orange: (laughs) Good idea, Devil Orange!
Angel Orange: Oh, no, Orange, you can't tell him that!
Orange: I can't?
Angel Orange: No! You should ask Cucumber... "Why the long face?"

Every man hath a good and a bad angel attending on him in particular all his life long.
— Robert Burton

Devil Pinto: Fuck her. Fuck her brains out! Suck her tits, squeeze her buns. You know she want it.
Angel Pinto: For shame! Lawrence, I'm surprised at you!
Devil Pinto: Ah, don't listen to that jack-off. Look at those gazongas! You'll never get a better chance!
Angel Pinto: If you lay one finger on that poor, sweet, helpless girl, you'll despise yourself forever! (Beat) I'm proud of you, Lawrence.
Devil Pinto: You homo!

Dennis' Shoulder Devil: Hey, switch the cards. It'll be hilarious.
(Dennis looks at his other shoulder)
Dennis' Shoulder Devil: What are you looking for?
Dennis: Isn't there supposed to be an angel over here?
Dennis' Shoulder Devil: Are you Dennis Finch?
Dennis: Yes.
Dennis' Shoulder Devil: Then no. Do it!

Chuck: A decision has to be made, and this is going to require some very careful thought.
Janeway: What to do, what to do?
Shoulder Devil: Well... I think you should—
Janeway: I have no room for that religious crap. Get that out of here!
Shoulder Atom: Good. Now, we can discuss this rationally.
Janeway: Eh, I'm willing to try anything once. Lay some on me. Uh, what would you do?
Shoulder Atom: Oh. Well, not me per se; I mean, I'm just an atom. But, I can form a molecule with others and—
Janeway: Bor-ring! How do you deal with your enemies?
Shoulder Atom: Eh-he-he, well... I don't have anything like that. The only thing I could really do is split and hope the energy release would destroy them all.
Janeway: Eh... not too crazy about killing myself to kill my enemies, but... Hell, I'll keep my options open. Now, what do you think?
Shoulder Cowboy: (scared) What am I even doing here and how the hell do I get out?!
Janeway: Haha, I like the cut of your jib! All right, what do you think?
Janeway: For the last time, I am not eating Harry! Not while he's still of use to me... All right, I'm going with the Shoulder Cowboy. We're leaving.

Nature: Hug him! Hug him like you've never hugged anyone before!
Nurture: What?! No! Don't do it!
Nature: Hug hug hug hug hug— MMPH!
Nurture: (grabs Nature) Quiet, you!
Nature: (flails arms) MMMPH!
Nurture: Quit squirming!

Kora: [the supporting characters] were mostly there to die and pad the runtime until the good angel, Michael, fights the bad angel, Gabriel.
Media Whorz review of Legion

Grigorii: Be mindful of the voices—
Nephilim: Listen to the voices—
Both: That whisper in your sleep. You are with the chosen
Grigorii: But you must choose for yourself.
Nephilim: But you must make the right choices.
Both: You are cursed with free will.
Nephilim: We are here to guide you to the light.
Grigorii: It's not my place to intervene. But then, this—
Nephilim: Even if this is—
Both: Merely a dream. Make the right choices, and be mindful of the voices that whisper.
Grigorii: They corrupt.
Nephilim: They speak the truth.

Lincoln Loud: "You know, there's something I've always wondered about that whole thing. When the angel and devil appear on your shoulder, aren't they afraid they'll fall off?"
Lynn Loud: "Well, that wouldn't be a problem for the tiny versions of me. I've got perfect balance."
Luna Loud: "Or they could just grab onto your big poofy hair."

Devil Donut: Go on and eat it. What are you waitin' for?!
Angel Donut: Don't do it! It's SpongeBob's donut!
Devil Donut: Don't listen to him, he's covered with sprinkles.
Patrick: I hate conflicts!
Devil Donut: It couldn't get any easier than this. Just hook a chain to it, pop it in your mouth, and then when your sponge friend wants it back, just yank it out.
Angel Donut: I hate to admit it, but that's a great idea!
SpongeBob SquarePants, "Donut of Shame"

Peter: If [Lois] finds out I got fired for drinking, she's gonna blame me!
Peter's Devil: Lie to her! It's okay to lie to women, they're not people like us!
Peter: Uh, I don't know. (beat) Hey, where's the other guy?
(cut to Peter's Angel stuck in traffic on the freeway)
Peter's Angel Come on, you bastard! I'm late for work! (spills coffee on his robe) Oh, oh, oh, this is perfect.
Family Guy, "Death Has a Shadow"

Peter's Angel: Hey, uh, sorry, man! Am I late? What'd I miss?
Peter: Oh, thank God you're here! What do I do?
Peter's Angel's Devil: Tell him to keep lying! He's in too deep!
Peter's Angel: Uh, I don't know. (beat) Hey, where's the other guy?
(cut to Peter's Angel's Angel also stuck in traffic)
Peter's Angel's Angel Aw, this his unbelievable!
Family Guy, (a little later in) "Death Has a Shadow"