""In these worlds we had funny animals that walked and talked, humans with animal parts that walked and talked, but we also had the kind of animals we are used to in real life - dumb animals that don't read and write or talk or walk on their hind legs. I am dying to know how old time cartoonists decided which creatures were allowed the gifts of intelligence, opposable thumbs or pants. Talk about playing God! Every cartoonist has as much power as the Almighty in making arbitrary decisions about which of his creatures get the good or bad end of the stick." "His apartment is full of dogs and cats. Can I mention this or does it completely louse up my metaphor?" "By the way, am I the only one who thinks it's weird that the Statue of Liberty is human when the world is populated by animals?" Does anyone else find it strange that we are all fish, but we're also 'riding' fish? I mean, where is the line drawn between which fish can talk and which fish don't?! Gordie:
Alright, alright, Mickey's a mouse, Donald's a duck, Pluto's a dog. What's Goofy? Teddy:
Goofy's a dog. He's definitely a dog. Chris:
He can't be a dog. He drives a car and wears a hat. Vern:
Oh, God. That's weird. What the hell is Goofy?
"Okay, this is something that has bothered me for years, and in all sorts of medium. So I'm furnishing my little Animal Crossing cottage, right? But I don't know if I'm comfortable with keeping a caged canary (which is a furniture item) in the window when my next-door neighbor is a talking, four-foot-tall robin. It's the same thing in what was one of my favorite childrens's shows, Arthur, too. He's got a little pet dog, but one of his best friends is also a dog. And it happens again with Goofy and Pluto of the Disney universe; both are dogs, but they live in different castes of domestic hierarchy. What is this? And when you encounter this sort of thing at such a young age, it's...I don't know, it's just crippling." "It kind of weirds me out when animals TO animals exist in a world where animals are more like people than animals. ...Let me try that again." "You got that weird thing I never get, where some of the dinosaurs talk but some don't. And you could argue that maybe they're not as intelligent, but look - one of them is like a dog. I'm sorry but that's really weird. If it was like a different animal, maybe. But when the rest of the dinosaurs can talk, this is really kind of odd. It's like talking to a person and then another person is suddenly licking and scratching at you. It's, I don't know, just odd." Rarity:
Before you go back, to your world I mean, I want give you some of my concepts. [...] I would like you to show my work to some of the ponies you know and ask for their opinions on them. This could really help me expand my business! [...] Phoenix:
I'll have a little trouble doing that. They don't talk. Rarity:
They don't... talk? My word... What a strange world you come from Mr. Wright. Mute ponies... none of them fly or use magic? Phoenix:
They don't do that either. They just sort of sit in petting zoos and perplex. And they kinda smell...
: Oooh! I love it when they bend the rules! At least it's more fun than the Giant Ape Fights, that just sounds boring. Twilight
: It's just a less sophisticated form of human wrestling. It's like me going to see a horse race.
"Starring... generic anime guys, Hatsune Riku, "Disney" spelled backwards, American Pikachu, SSJ Trunks, boys in da hood, MC Hammer Pants, Aflac, Disney's Wolverine, Evil Adele, GlaDos, a dog, and... also a dog? Huh. Interesting... So one wears pants?" "Also, even though you play as an anthropomorphic bear, dogs are still dogs and birds are still birds. And, I mean, I can't blame them for being mad. I'd be pissed too if no one transformed me in a radical, sunglasses-wearing, skateboarding version of myself." "What kind of a world -is- this, anyway? You've got talking snake-people and ordinary snakes, you've got birds that wear clothes and those [mutated birds]. You got frogs? And you got frog wizards?" "Okay, let's talk about the weirdness of this. We have talking, sentient animals going around: Cats, birds, crocodiles, dogs, whatever. That's cool. But we also have regular birds... and squirrels and everything going around! Don't you think the pigeon's looking at him going 'Motherfucker gets to articulate his thoughts with words and has fuckin' thumbs and everything.'" The Brain:
If they're animals, does their school serve bugs and garbage for lunch? Francine:
I'd like to know how a mouse has a pet dog. Wouldn't the dog eat him? Arthur:
Andy's not a mouse. He's a...something. I forget.
birds! How does that work? When is Pluto gonna walk Goofy?! IT'S NEVER EXPLAINED!"
"If Mickey's a mouse, and Minnie's a mouse, and Donald's a duck, and Goofy is a dog, if they're all animals and they can talk, why is Pluto just a fucking dog? Is Mickey just keeping a retarded guy as a pet?"
"(Goofy's) the only fucking dog who's good enough to wear fucking pants?! Well, I wanna wear the fucking pants for once!" "So I complete the task, I get the kid's dog and — h-hang on, stop and think about this. It's designed to look like a real life dog, yet it's sitting next to a giant cartoon hedgehog! What kind of world does this game exist in?" "The Crimes went on to hang out with their new pony. Ponies are people in this universe, I guess? I'm not actually sure." Carmelita
: How was your first patrol? Any luck? Nick
: Well, most of Muggshots goons are laying low
but we did collar one suspect! C
: Excellent. May I see? J
: Of course! [Judy gestures, ecstatically and with both arms, through the two-way mirror of the interrogation room.] [Inside, a bulldog is sleeping, slobbering onto the table.] C
: ??? C
Is this a joke? J
: What? No! No no no! Look, Im sorry he fell asleep, I just, were treating him gently, actually we think there might be something wrong with him, we didnt want to put too much - C
: Thats a dog. J
: Yeah! Just like the rest of Muggshots gang! N
: Not that we based the arrest entirely on racial profiling. J
: Oh! No! Of course not! I didnt - yes. We found him guarding one of Muggshots legal properties. N
: And when we approached, he attacked us without warning. Pretty bone-headed move, honestly. C
: Mmhmm. Probably because its a dog. N
: Woah, hey! J
: Carmelita, you cant just say something like that! I thought you of all people - C
: No, listen. I
really dont know how to explain this to you. Its a dog. J
: Like Muggshot. C
: No. Not like Muggshot. N
: Muggshot is a dog. C
: Muggshot is a dog, but not like this dog is a dog. Its
you know, a dog? An animal you take home and feed and bring around on a leash? N
wait, I think I get it. C
: Thank god. N
: I bet over in Paris you get a lot of weird alternative lifestyles, huh? Well, whatever. Im not one to kinkshame. C
"I caught a frog! Or it's a new neighbor...and I have some apologizing to do." " Welcome to the world of Goofy. Where the fish are fish, the birds are birds, and everyone else is somewhere on the spectrum between dog, cat and man." What a weird world where a tree is more sapient and thus less desirable to kill than a moving entity. 2 cats need a home! One of them is a person.