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Quotes / Fridge Logic

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    Film — Live-Action 

Glen: Well shit, man, I guess that's why they call it a "way-homer."
Hi: Why's that?
Glen: Cause you only get it on the way home.

    Film — Animated 

I see now that my plan didn't make much sense.

Donkey: I'm already starting to feel nauseous from memories of wedgies and swirlies!
Puss: But how did you receive the wedgies when you are clearly not aware of the underpants?
Donkey: Let's just say some things are better left unsaid and leave it at that.

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    Literature 

Melvin: It makes sense, if you think about it!
M: No it doesn't.

    Live-Action TV 

Richard Castle: Perfect place for a murder. No one can hear you scream.
Kate Beckett: No one can help you carry the body up the stairs either.
Richard Castle: Maybe somebody marched Donny at gunpoint down to the river and killed him there.
Kate Beckett: If he had a gun, why would he use a bottle [to kill the victim]?
Richard Castle: Don't ruin my story with your logic!
Castle, "The Last Call"

Wait a minute. How did they open the car door?
Rimmernote , Red Dwarf

(Asked what the quote "It was the most excruciating experience of my life" referred to.)
Andy Parsons: Is it David Blunkettnote  hanging pictures? [He mimes hitting his thumb with a hammer]
Dara O'Briain: I get that he'd drive the nail into his thumb because he's blind, but why is he hanging pictures? He's blind!

    Music 

So this is my cassette I'm sending you, I hope you hear it
I'm in the car right now, I'm doing 90 on the freeway
Hey Slim, I drank a fifth of vodka, you dare me to drive?
[...]
Well, gotta go, I'm almost at the bridge now
Oh shit, I forgot, how am I supposed to send this shit out?
Eminem, Stan

    Newspapers 

Which if you think about it rationally is absurd, but you get too involved to think rationally

    Podcasts 

It's charming until you realize how many hidden cameras this guy must have set up to get all this footage.
Bill Corbett RiffTrax: Batman & Robin

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     Stand-Up Comedy 
These are the kinds of things I think of when I'm sitting home alone and the television is broken.
George Carlin, Carlin on Campus

There's one line in one scene at the start of the movie to explain the entire apocalypse. And it's not even repeated or alluded to. Just one line... It's India. It's a monsoon. A man arrives, clearly in a hurry. He's wearing a suit. He's got a small bag. He's rushed to be here. He's a scientist, he's meeting another scientist. [...] This guy, a physicist, turns to the other physicist and without any shame or compunction goes: "The neutrinos have mutated and they're heating up the planet!"

[Insert lengthy rant about how scientifically impossible this is.]

At the end of the movie, they're on a boat. It's a new dawn. Everyone's survived. Everyone in the cinema got up and walked out. I was the only idiot in the Curzon on Leicester Square with his arm up going "Eh, what happened to the fucking neutrinos?!" A week ago, they had "mutated" and were "heating up the planet"; how did that change all of a sudden?
Dara Ó Briain is not fond of 2012

    Video games 

Is the long part its trunk or its neck? How does it bathe itself? An utterly mysterious Chimera.
The Description for the Ostrelephant, Mother 3

    Web Animation 

By the time you figure out what was wrong with that, it won't matter anymore!

Seppel: Wait a minute! What was Professor Utonium doing making little girls in the first place?!
[beat]
Misteroo: Ew.
Arfenhouse Teh Movie Too

    Webcomics 

Ok, well it's not like it's that important. Just a super obvious thing that'll probably occur to you later when you're looking in the fridge you don't have, at which point you'll feel like an idiot.
Dirk Strider, Homestuck

Gabe: How can you say the Wonder Twins was about incest? I mean, just because he turns into water, and then she turns into an elephant, and then... Then they... They... Oh My God. And the monkey! Where does the monkey fit in?
Tycho: The monkey watches.

"I know I shouldn't, but I can't help but wonder how creatures without arms could make such a device. Or tie up my friends."
Antimony, Gunnerkrigg Court

Wanda: I'm trying to rein in my ruthless logical thinking and embrace the boundless and bewitching wonders of the magical world.
[Later]
Wanda: [hrrrnghh] If he's so smart then why didn't he just try to summon the fricken egg first not one of them tried to summon that fricken egg, not one, you've learned the summoning charm, great, why not just try summon the motherfrickin egg

    Web Original 

It's a lot like the iron boots in modern 3D Zelda games: you have these 200kg boots in your inventory; you're swimming in water; you open the menu and choose to put the boots 'on'; you sink to the bottom of the water. Are the boots only heavy when they're on your feet? (Maybe they're magical.)
Tim Rogers, on Ikaruga

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    Web Video 

Wait a second, if their mission is to proliferate their DNA through procreation, why is there a gay guy in the group?!
Linkara on New Guardians

Android 17: Holy shit, you're an android! How did you even do that?
Dr. Gero: I took my brain out and put it into this body.
Android 18: ..How?
Dr. Gero: I...huh. How did I do that?

How the hell does that guy owe money?! He has a magic lever that can force people to lose everything! Marry into money? Why?! You have God's personal money tree! Th-Th-There's not even any complicated controls! It's just "Win" and "Lose"! Is it only targeted to Fred?! Can it be targeted to other people?! Is there a remote-controlled chip inside everybody's mind that he somehow has control over that can win or lose or...?! This whole movie should be about how that lever works!

Listen, the more you think about this concept, the more survival solutions you're gonna find, and I'm gonna need you to get off my back about all of them.
The Screenwriter of Screen Rant Pitch Meetings, about The Producer's suggestions for what the Abbott family should have done differently in A Quiet Place.

    Western Animation 

The longer we stand here, the more people are going to question how a fisherman with no engineering background was able to build a sophisticated talking fish robot.

Aurora Borealis!? At this time of year? At this time of day? In this part of the country? Localized entirely within your kitchen?
Superintendent Chalmers, The Simpsons

[Zoidberg's underwater house has just burnt down]
Zoidberg: Nooooooo! My home! It burned down! How did this happen?
Hermes: That's a very good question.
Bender: [Retrieving a lit cigar from the ashes] So that's where my I left my cigar.
Hermes: That just raises further questions!

Wait a second... if the pit is bottomless, how exactly are you going to fill it with water?

[Chowder accidentally puts rat poison in the dish he's making]
Mung: Oh, golly... Why did I even put that poison in the spice cabinet in the first place?!
[A giant rat passes by]
Mung: ...Oh, yeah, that's right...

Lisa: There's no shame in coming second!
[Cue a daydream about Lisa's band, "The Second Bests", only for the audience to start booing as soon as they start playing]
Lisa:... Why would they come to our concerts just to boo us?

    Real Life 

Where does Oscar the Grouch go to the bathroom? These things keep me up at night.

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