He said, "The poor rabbit." Has he lost his mind?
— Narration, Education for Death
Only the Awkward question. Only the foolish do so twice.
— Imperial Proverb, Warhammer 40,000
He was jaywalking! And smoking on the street! I was confronting an evil villain threatening our city's safety!
— Masayoshi Hazama, Samurai Flamenco
Mammon: It is the boy. He has eaten the pancake.
Haborym: He will never come back to us now.
Astaroth: Truly, this is our blackest hour.
Haborym: He will never come back to us now.
Astaroth: Truly, this is our blackest hour.
— Hellboy
...But in the judgment of the League, Wharton had sinned against the honor of his office, sinned most grievously, by systematically short-pouring the wine, especially for the Fifth Years, who were allowed two glasses with dinner. Seriously, these were like three-quarter pours. Everybody agreed. For such a crime, there could be no forgiveness.
— The Girl In The Mirror, a short story from the anthology
Dangerous Women
Dangerous WomenMichael: Have you ever taken off both your shoes and socks while on a commercial airline?
Eleanor: Shoes and socks? What? No! Who would do that?
Michael: People who go to the Bad Place, Eleanor, that's the point! And if I can't think of a compelling reason to keep you here, you will spend eternity with murderers, and arsonists, and people who take off their shoes and socks on a commercial airline!
Eleanor: Shoes and socks? What? No! Who would do that?
Michael: People who go to the Bad Place, Eleanor, that's the point! And if I can't think of a compelling reason to keep you here, you will spend eternity with murderers, and arsonists, and people who take off their shoes and socks on a commercial airline!
As regarding Jason Mendoza, I have heard no arguments regarding whether not he — wait, he's from Florida? Yeah, he belongs in the Bad Place.
— Shawn, The Good Place
The year is '94, in my trunk is raw
In my rear view mirror is the motherfucking law
Got two choices, y'all: pull over the car or...
Bounce on the devil, put the pedal to the floor
And I ain't trying to see no highway chase with Jake
Plus I got a few dollars, I can fight the case
So I pull over to the side of the road
I heard, "Son, do you know why I'm stopping you for?"
‘Cause I'm young and I'm black and my hat's real low?
Do I look like a mind reader, sir? I don't know
Am I under arrest or should I guess some more?
"Well, you was doing 55 in a 54
License and registration and step out of the car
Are you carrying a weapon on you? I know a lot of you are."
I ain't stepping out of shit, all my paper's legit
"Well, do you mind if I look around the car a little bit?"
Well, my glove compartment is locked, so is the trunk in the back
And I know my rights, so you gon' need a warrant for that
"Aren't you sharp as a tack?
You some type of lawyer or something?
Somebody important or something?"
Well, I ain't passed the bar, but I know a little bit
Enough that you won't illegally search my shit
"Well, we'll see how smart you are when the K9 come!"
I got 99 problems, but a bitch ain't one – hit me!
In my rear view mirror is the motherfucking law
Got two choices, y'all: pull over the car or...
Bounce on the devil, put the pedal to the floor
And I ain't trying to see no highway chase with Jake
Plus I got a few dollars, I can fight the case
So I pull over to the side of the road
I heard, "Son, do you know why I'm stopping you for?"
‘Cause I'm young and I'm black and my hat's real low?
Do I look like a mind reader, sir? I don't know
Am I under arrest or should I guess some more?
"Well, you was doing 55 in a 54
License and registration and step out of the car
Are you carrying a weapon on you? I know a lot of you are."
I ain't stepping out of shit, all my paper's legit
"Well, do you mind if I look around the car a little bit?"
Well, my glove compartment is locked, so is the trunk in the back
And I know my rights, so you gon' need a warrant for that
"Aren't you sharp as a tack?
You some type of lawyer or something?
Somebody important or something?"
Well, I ain't passed the bar, but I know a little bit
Enough that you won't illegally search my shit
"Well, we'll see how smart you are when the K9 come!"
I got 99 problems, but a bitch ain't one – hit me!
— Jay-Z, "99 Problems"
Your shoddy craftsmanship brings shame on all hedgehogkind. And for that, you shall perish!
— Shadow the Hedgehog, after seeing Sonic's failed attempt at building a bookshelf, Sonic Boom
If you take sexual advantage of her, you're going to burn in a very special level of hell. A level they reserve for child molesters and people who talk at the theater.
— Book, Firefly
NightWing #1: (Whiteout absentmindedly walks into the middle of a marble game) Hey! Watch where you're going!
NightWing #2: Can't you use those weird eyes of yours?
NightWing #3: Or are IceWings blind as well as arrogant and vicious?
Darkstalker: That was a little rude, don't you think?
NightWing #1: She ruined our game!
Darkstalker: What a disaster. No wonder you had to resort to name-calling and bigotry.
—Wings of Fire: Darkstalker
Lisa: If I don't get a good grade in gym, it could haunt me for the rest of my life!
(cue Imagine Spot of Lisa about to be sworn in as U.S. President)
Chief Justice of the American Supreme Court: I now pronounce you President of these United-
Reporter: Stop the inauguration! I just learned our president-elect just got an "F" in second grade gym class!
(the crowd gasps in shock. On the podium, Lisa is handcuffed by police)
CJSC: In that case, I sentence you to a lifetime of horror, on Monster Island! (leans in toward Lisa) Don't worry, it's just a name.note
—The Simpsons, "Lisa On Ice"
Arrested for YouTube crimes
—Pop Team Epic, after Popuko is literally sent to a detention center over a 2-hour potato chip-eating video
"Tarnation! That rabbit's left footy-prints all over my desert!"
— Yosemite Sam, Invasion of the Bunny Snatchers
Berdly: You said you were a GAMER!!!
Queen: Berdly
Queen: I Only Play Mobile Games
Berdly: NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
Queen: Berdly
Queen: I Only Play Mobile Games
Berdly: NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
—Deltarune, Chapter 2
Yugi: ...the teacher told us that a dangerous criminal has escaped from prison!
Joey: Really? What'd he do? Murder? Robbery?
Yugi: Much worse: he posted an anime parody on the Internet!
Joey: JESUS! That is the single worst thing a person could possibly do!
Yugi: Yeah. They're thinking about bringing back the death penalty.
Joey: Really? What'd he do? Murder? Robbery?
Yugi: Much worse: he posted an anime parody on the Internet!
Joey: JESUS! That is the single worst thing a person could possibly do!
Yugi: Yeah. They're thinking about bringing back the death penalty.
— Yu-Gi-Oh! The Abridged Series, Season 0
Real Life
It is not permitted to make a statue out of snow, even by way of play and fun....It is imitating the infidels, it promotes lustiness and eroticism.
—Sheikh Mohammed Saleh al-Munajjid
People were calling in to local sports talk radio last season wanting to run Stevie Johnson out of town because he tweeted a picture of himself eating tacos at a Buffalo restaurant late on a Friday night. Keep in mind he is probably the most popular player the team has had in the last 10 years.
—Deadspin, "Why Your Team Sucks 2014: Buffalo Bills"
The standard set-up of a Judge Dredd story involves Dredd going to great lengths to bust some 'creep' whose crime seems relatively minor. Even if there is a proper villain, it’s not uncommon for a Judge Dredd strip to end with some minor accomplice getting arrested by Dredd, who inevitably rejects any pleas for mercy. An early story, for instance, ends with Dredd arresting a man for receiving an illegal but presumably life-saving organ transplant, proclaiming him to be one of the 'real villains' in the illegal transplant ring he’s busting.
The strip, in other words, is an aggressive satire of what would become known as the broken windows theory of policing, in which focusing on small crimes against the social order - vandalism being the textbook example - was believed to reduce crime in general.
The strip, in other words, is an aggressive satire of what would become known as the broken windows theory of policing, in which focusing on small crimes against the social order - vandalism being the textbook example - was believed to reduce crime in general.
—El Sandifer, The Last War in Albion
With only scarce seconds before the families would notice their absence, Mary Ellen and Jacob snuck behind the Miller's house to share the most decadent of sins: a Snickers bar.
