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Quotes / Fan Hater

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"What is food to one man may be fierce poison to others."

Live-Action TV

Shirley: I rented Tower Heist last night. And I'm not spoiling the ending, but let me tell you, it was quite the hilarious thrill-ride. That Brett Ratner — mmm! He's a master of comedic action adventure! A master at storytelling. He's just a master at making movies in general! I'm gonna say it: he's the new Spielberg.
Abed: I have to go. You're a bad person. You're a bad person.
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Those who think Transformers is a great or even a good film are, may I tactfully suggest, not sufficiently evolved.

Web Animation

"I didn't expect to hear any more from this franchise, but I guess if you feed humanity flavourless wallpaper paste for decades then you shouldn't be surprised if that's all they want to eat now."

"Creed sucks! I HATE you, and I HATE the bands you like!"
Red vs. Blue PSA

"I don't care how many people actually likes this. The ones who are saying 'check your brain in at the door' checked their brains as soon as they were given birth to."

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Web Original

That explains the one a**hole in my audience who was more than vocal about his dislike of the movie and camped outside the exit to tell people who liked it otherwise. I wanted to bitch him out in front of his friends, but there's no point. He will always be the Michael Bay wanking, Michael Bolton loving jack off and there is nothing I can do to convince him this was a great movie.

Juggalo: For the most part, an uneducated, pathetic excuse for a human being who listens to the group ICP who are bold enough to actually consider themselves musicians. People you see wearing "hatchet-man" accessories. They should not be allowed to reproduce, because that is too cruel to future generations.

This is Will Leitch, the founder of Deadspin and world’s most annoying Cardinals fan. We love Leitch, but we also like trolling him at every possible opportunity by telling him that he is human garbage and his favorite team is a band of wingnut Puritan shitbags...We wrote this post in advance of the Cards losing, despite our fear of TOTALLY jinxing the Cubs in the process. But we couldn’t wait because we had to post this right when your dorky penis team lost and your pain was at its most acute!
Drew Magary, "BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA EAT SHIT, LEITCH!" (Deadspin)

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Maybe you’re one of those people who spend more man-hours proudly telling everyone who’ll listen about how you’ve never watched Big Brother than the people involved in making it spent, well, making it. Perhaps you wear your BB-hatred like a badge of honour, joining every “I hate BB!” Facebook group you can find and letting everyone know you’ve got better things to do with your time, well whoopee-balls for you. Maybe I don’t like your face, but I don’t keep harping on about it. (I don’t like your face, as it happens. It’s too wide at the top and you’ve got a stupid chin)

I hate to be the one to say this, but if you like the new Spider-Man movies, you're a wrong idiot. This isn't up for discussion.

The world hasn’t been the same ever since Justin Bieber’s Canadian breakfast sausage hit the Internet. Lives and relationships have been destroyed. Case in point: One of my friends said to me, “I can’t believe Justin Bieber’s dick is more impressive than Lenny Kravitz’s.” I would tell you that friend’s name, but I erased it from my memory, because she is forever dead to me now.

Those who say this is the greatest New Adventure are simply wrong, and very probably lack souls.
Dr. El Sandifer on Timewyrm: Exodus

Family Circus has been shitting in the mouth of comedy for 51 years and we need to fight back... Can you imagine what it would be like if you found something like this funny? You'd be both the happiest and most-punched person in the world, and I am really glad you don't exist. But in case you do, seriously: Fuck you.

Web Video

"Final Fantasy VIII sucks and you suck for liking it!"
Noah "The Spoony One" Antwiler

"I don't think you're gonna have the desire to play Mall Tycoon 3. And if you do....well...your face is dumb...or something..."

Real Life

"There are shows I am a fan of but don’t watch because I didn’t like what they are doing with it. And I’m talking original Japanese Toku shows. But I don’t go on forums to trash it. I think that’s really lame. As is criticizing a show for 6-11 year old kids and you are in your 20’s or older. Honestly, I’m speechless! I stay away from Teletubbie and Barney forums!"
Steven Wang, Executive Producer of Kamen Rider Dragon Knight

"I love the smell of burning gamers in the morning."
Media Watchdog Jack Thompson

"Rob Ford is a crack-smoking Bills fan. Which comes first, the chicken or the egg?"
Will Brinson, 1.12.13 Tweet

"Any human dumb enough to voluntarily sit through a second helping of that unremitting fecal spew really ought to just get up and leave the planet via the nearest window before their continued presence does lasting damage to the gene pool."

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