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Mayor: Master Betty, might I inquire: What is the Evil Council's plan?
Master Betty: Nnnng. It is EVIL! Mnyah! It is so EVIL! It is a bad, bad plan... that will hurt many... people... that are good. I think it's great 'cause it's so bad!
Mayor: I see... I think.

"My evil plan to save the world,
just you wait till it's unfurled!
It'll go down in History!
It's prophetic! No it's not pathetic.
I can't believe I made it up myself!
"
Five Iron Frenzy, "My Evil Plan to Save the World"

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"My fellow bad guys, I, Lex Luthor, your leader, will speak now about my, Lex Luthor's, plan. My villainous, villainous plan. Question the plan at your peril. Uh... any questions?"
The Flash in Lex Luthor's body, Justice League, "The Great Brain Robbery"

"No, mom, he's evil. You don't know this about him? He has evil schemes. Normal people don't have schemes of any kind!"
Vanessa Doofenshmirtz (on the subject of her father), Phineas and Ferb

Eeeeeeevil plans!
We are making eeeeeeevil plans!
Evil deeds with eeeeeeevil hands!
We are making eeeeeeviiiiiiil plaaaaaaans!''
The Death Eaters, "It's Not Over Yet", A Very Potter Sequel

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From the brain that brought you the Big Ben caper,
The head that made headlines in every newspaper,
And wondrous things like the Tower Bridge job,
That cunning display that made Londoners sob,
Now comes the REAL tour de force! Tricky and wicked, of course!
My earlier crimes were fine for their times, but now that I'm at it again...
An even grimmer plot has been simmering in my great criminal brain!

"Everything that has transpired has done so according to my design."
Emperor Palpatine, Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi

"Well, if you'll excuse me, I have work to do. Evil plots don't just make themselves, you know."
Prince Ludwig the Indestructible, Blackadder II

"Evil things have plans. They have things to do."

Wesley: I don't need to hear your evil plans.
Lilah: No, it just turns you on, knowing I have 'em.
Angel, "Ground State"

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"And now for the proceeding with the plan I have planned!"
Fawful, Mario & Luigi: Bowser's Inside Story

Helen: Daria, the easiest thing in the world for you is being honest about what you observe.
Daria: And...
Helen: What's hard for you is being honest about your wishes. About the way you think things should be, not the way they are. You gloss over it with a cynical joke and nobody finds out what you really believe in.
Daria: Aha! So my Evil Plan is working.
Daria, "Write Where It Hurts"

"As soon as I finish these WAFFLES I will get started on my next EEEEEEVIL PLAN!
Invader Zim, Zim Eats Waffles

"Then he got an idea. An awful idea. The Grinch got a wonderful, awful idea!"

Dancer Man: There’s only one thing left before I unleash all these clones in my hideous master plan!
Agent Smoulder: What’s that?
Dancer Man: A hideous master plan. I haven’t thought of one yet.
The X Fools

Regent Cid: <Ribbit!> Kuja didn't touch you, did he?
Hilda: His soul was filled with hate, but he was polite to me. He just talked an awful lot.
Regent Cid: What about? <Ribbit!>
Hilda: Well, he divulged his master plan to me. I didn't even have to ask. It was tiresome. But what he spoke of... it was truly a scene from a nightmare.
Regent Cid: What did he say?
Hilda: That he was not of this world. He said his aim was to use this world to acquire an even more destructive power...

Lefou, I'm afraid I've been thinking.
A dangerous pastime, I know.
But that whacky old coot is Belle's father,
And his sanity's only "so-so".
Now, the wheels in my head have been turning,
Since I looked at that loony, old man.
See, I've promised myself I'd be married to Belle,
And right now I'm evolving a plan!
[...]
No one plots like Gaston,
Takes cheap shots like Gaston,
Plans to persecute harmless crackpots like Gaston!
Yes, I'm endlessly, wildly resourceful,
As down to the depths you descend.
I won't even be mildly remorseful,
Just as long as I (you) get what I (you) want in the end.
Who has brains like Gaston?
Entertains like Gaston?
Who can make up these endless refrains like Gaston?
And his marriage we soon will be celebrating,
My, what a guy!
Gaston!
Gaston, Gaston (Reprise), Beauty and the Beast

"Ah, how shall I do it? Oh, I know. I'll turn him into a flea, a harmless little flea, and then I'll put that flea in a box, and then I'll put that box inside of another box, and then I'll mail that box to myself, and when it arrives... [Laughs] ...I'll SMASH IT WITH A HAMMER! It's brilliant, brilliant, brilliant, I tell you! Genius, I say! [knocks over bottle of poison on flower, which instantly shrivels up and dies] ...Or, to save on postage, I'll just poison him with this!"
Yzma, ''The Emperor's New Groove’'

"In one day of terror, the executive authority of Planet Earth will pass to Harmony Shoal. It's a good plan, I like it. How come our side never gets plans like that?"

"Oh, it's not an evil plan. I don't really know what to do when it isn't an evil plan."
The Doctor, Doctor Who, "Twice Upon A Time

I was born in a small village. I was still a child when we were raided by soldiers...foreign shoulders. Torn from my elders, I was made to speak their language. With each new post, my masters changed, along with the words they made me speak. Words are...peculiar. With each change, I changed too. My thoughts, personality, how I saw right and wrong...war changed me, and not only my visage. Words can kill. I was invaded by words, burrowing and breeding inside me...

A philosopher once said "It is no nation we inhabit, but a language. Make no mistake; our native tongue is our true fatherland." My fatherland...my truth was stolen from me, and so was my past. All that's left is the future, and mine is revenge. On those who leech off the words of their fellow man. This is what I learned from the Major...and then it hit me: it was he who should feel my wrath. He and the code he chose as basis for control. Language codes, information codes beamed all around us, genetic codes spanning history. By controlling the codes, Cipher...Zero intends to unify the world. Codes implanted into our heads, sucking our minds dry as it spreads from one host to the next. A parasite upon this Earth...that is what Zero wants. As one born into this world, he is afflicted. I hold him responsible for killing my freedom, killing all traces of my past, killing any promise of a future...We are all dead men forced to walk upon this Earth, a world reduced to Zero. Cipher plans to use its words to control the world...they think they can...and the "mother tongue" of all those codes is English. The word became flesh...

The final parasite...it knows English. An English strain of the vocal parasite...I will exterminate the English language! With this, I'll ride the world of infestation. All men will breathe free again, reclaim their past, present, and future. This is no "ethnic cleanser", it is a liberator, to free the world from Zero! Let the world be. Sans lingua franca, the world will be torn asunder, and then it shall be free. People will suffer, of course...a phantom pain...the world will need a new common tongue. A language of nukes! My Metal Gears shall be the thread by which all countries are bound together in equality. No words will be needed. Every man will be forced to recognize his neighbor. People will swallow their pain. They will link lost hands, and the world will become one. This war...is peace.


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