"Our universe may have a well earned reputation for depravity, but that lunatic is too much even for us!"
— Rō on Frieza, Dragon Ball Super
Look...no one ever said Jotaro Kujo was a nice guy. I beat the crap out of people, more than I have to. Some are even still in the hospital. I've had idiot teachers who like to talk big, so I taught them a lesson. They never came back to class. If I go to the restaurant and the food's bad, I make it a policy to stiff 'em with the bill. But...even a bastard like me can spot true evil when he sees it! True evil are those who use the weak for their own gain, and crush them underfoot when they're through! Especially an innocent woman!
— Jotaro Kujo, JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Stardust Crusaders
[After seeing Rob Lucci pull a You Have Failed Me on Nero]
Sanji: These are the agents of justice?
Franky: They're more evil than we are.
Sanji: These are the agents of justice?
Franky: They're more evil than we are.
"...He's obsessed with death, he likes experimenting on people - that's what he was banished for, mostly, he was kicking around at Loki's level even before he got a hold of the Darkhold, he's dueled Doctor Strange and survived... Boss, he's evil. The real thing, evil with a capital E. You have no idea how much danger you're in by even being on the same continent as him."
That scared me. Not much really scares Bob, mostly because he's a spirit, and he has enough knowledge to translate to serious power. And he has a poor grasp on human morality. We see things in black and white, he sees them in blue and orange, or colors that we can't even perceive.
I have never heard him seriously describe something as evil.
— Harry Dresden and Bob discussing Gravemoss, Child of the Storm.
Ewww, the Romans were eating their own poo! Even I wouldn't do that and I'm a rat!
— Protagonist of Horrible Histories: Terrible Treasures
Lucy: "Yeah, this is too syrupy even for me. And I read Princess Pony."
Lynn: "Okay, time out. I may fight dirty, but I'd draw the line at using my sister as a human shield. That's just heinous."
Leni: "We do [frequently tease you], Linky. But that's only because we know you can take it."
Lola: "We wouldn't double down if we saw you crying."
Lola: "Yes, when we saw that the toilet was clogged, we thought you were the one who did it. But that was because you've done it several times before. (...) Anyway... my point is that I had a reason to suspect you, and even then, I gave you a chance to prove that you didn't! I don't just blame you for everything without reason!"
Lucy: "That was too depressing even for my standards."
Lynn: "I know I like to play rough, but I'm not a sadist. I still care about keeping you safe."
Lynn: "You read our diaries all the time."
Luna: "Yeah, don't think we don't know about that."
Lola: "Reading is different from sharing. I wouldn't just show his private journal to all my classmates!"
Fic Lincoln: "When she saw how much hate I had in me because of her mistake..."
Lincoln: "Whoa, now. I've gotten pretty steamed at my sisters before, but I would never, ever use the H-word on them."
Luan: "Look, I know I can go a little overboard when it comes to [practical joking]. Okay, a lot overboard. But be honest with me: have I ever made you afraid that you were going to die? Have I ever sent you to the hospital?"
Lincoln: "It's not 'wrong' to like something that most people don't. Plenty of us do. I mean, I enjoyed Ace Savvy & Jack 6."
Luna: "And I didn't mind Mick Swagger's disco album."
Lana: "I like anchovies on pizza!"
Lola: "Too far, Lana."
Cyril: How much?
Thomasin: A night or two... [laughs] Just kidding, I'm not like those extremists who try to fuck every penis they see. No... my ma and pa taught me better than that.
Thomasin: A night or two... [laughs] Just kidding, I'm not like those extremists who try to fuck every penis they see. No... my ma and pa taught me better than that.
Atticus: You want a bunch of children to be killed off to become ghosts and roam around hurting other people?!
Olmec: Do you wish for the Apex to continue as they are?
Lexi: We all don't want that. Scare them? Yes. Murder them? No.
Olmec: Do you wish for the Apex to continue as they are?
Lexi: We all don't want that. Scare them? Yes. Murder them? No.
"So while I am willing to take great risks in the name of scientific discovery, I must draw the line at *giving my own sibling a lobotomy*!"
"PROTO—!? You want to speak to me about protocol?! While I acknowledge that all Buster Calls have high casualty rates, none before have resulted in genocide!"
"I like scary things, I don't like hurting people!''"
—Chloe Cerise to her bully, Infinity Train: Seeker of Crocus
"Everyone knows how nice I can be, but in hindsight, I should have handled this situation better."
—Liberty Leal remembering her first interaction with Stella Zhau, Flowing Star
I can stand the sight of worms
And look at microscopic germs,
But technicolor pachyderms
Is really too much for me!
And look at microscopic germs,
But technicolor pachyderms
Is really too much for me!
— "Pink Elephants on Parade", Dumbo
"Even the most gentle dog has his limits."
—Buster after outsmarting the humans out to kill him, The Fearless Four
"Human beings, all over the earth, have this curious idea that they ought to behave in a certain way, and cannot really get rid of it."
—C. S. Lewis, Mere Christianity
"Spend a career in covert ops, and you're going to know some bad people. You'll work with them, you'll live with them, you might even entrust your life to them. But none of that makes them your friend. It can't. Because one day you might have to end them."
—Michael Westen, Burn Notice, "Double Booked"
"No matter how much you ask, I'm not putting a chainsaw on your arm."
— Rodin, Bayonetta
"In ten years in this dump, I've come to accept a very low standard of life. But even at the bottom of this fish tank, a man must have standards."
—Pierre Gobbi, BioShock, "Water in Wine" Audio Diary
Kratos: Why did you speak to the dwarf like that?
Atreus: Aren’t you sick of hearing about him and his brother?
Kratos: Of course. But it serves nothing to make an enemy of him.
Atreus: He should know the truth. Even if it hurts.
Kratos: It was needless and unkind.
Atreus: Aren’t you sick of hearing about him and his brother?
Kratos: Of course. But it serves nothing to make an enemy of him.
Atreus: He should know the truth. Even if it hurts.
Kratos: It was needless and unkind.
"First of all, let me introduce myself. I'm Nabooru of the Gerudo. I'm a lone wolf thief. But don't get me wrong! Though we're both thieves, I'm completely different from Ganondorf. With his followers, he stole from women and children, and he even killed people! A kid like you may not know this, but the Gerudo race consists only of women. Only one man is born every hundred years... Even though our laws say that lone male Gerudo must become King of the Gerudo, I'll never bow to such an evil man!"
—Nabooru, The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time
"Damn, I don't like that wolf either but this is a little overboard."
—Manjuu about the wrecked garden of Treat and Mochi, Mochi in Frosting
Cetrion: Good and evil are relative terms.
Shang Tsung: Fundamentally, yes.
Cetrion: And yet, here stands pure evil.
Shang Tsung: Fundamentally, yes.
Cetrion: And yet, here stands pure evil.
Weavile: ...A Time Gear, huh?... Tsk. I guess we don't have any choice. Arbok! Drapion! We're going home.
Medicham: Huh?! W-wait up, you!
Weavile: What?
Medicham: You're a band of thieves that does bad things, aren't you? So you're just going to go home without stealing anything?
Weavile: Humph! If it were some other treasure, it'd be fine... But you can't just steal a Time Gear and take it with you. Even though we're scoundrels, we at least know that much.
Medicham: I-is that so?
Weavile: Yeah... There are some things you just can't take.
Medicham: Huh?! W-wait up, you!
Weavile: What?
Medicham: You're a band of thieves that does bad things, aren't you? So you're just going to go home without stealing anything?
Weavile: Humph! If it were some other treasure, it'd be fine... But you can't just steal a Time Gear and take it with you. Even though we're scoundrels, we at least know that much.
Medicham: I-is that so?
Weavile: Yeah... There are some things you just can't take.
—Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Sky - Special Episode 4
"Dying for money's one thing - that's my choice. But dying for no good reason? Doesn't sit right with me."
—Jake Muller, Resident Evil 6
"Feelings? Look, mate. You know who has a lot of feelings? Blokes that bludgeon their wife to death with a golf trophy. Professionals have standards. Be polite. Be efficient. Have a plan to kill everyone you meet."
—The Sniper, Team Fortress 2, "Meet the Sniper"
You suggest to Hiro that maybe someone with an appetite like his might want to check out the chocolate river.
"Uh-uh... mnff... no way!" His piggish cheeks stuffed with chocolate, Hiro shakes his head. "Wonka shaid... nglp... no touching, so..."
He might be greedy, but he's at least obedient, it seems.
— Weeb's Wonka Game
"Whoa, whoa, did I just hear that right? We're to KILL the exalt? I'm just here for the plunder. You know, line my pockets with some royal goods. The exalt's such a sweet lady... Sure, I'll rob her blind, but I'd never harm her!"
—Gaius, Fire Emblem: Awakening
"When I decided to sell muffins, all the other bakers in town warned me of how crazy you are towards the competition, but I never thought you'd be so low as to put a curse on another man's muffins!"
—Merlin to Squidtugo for putting an addictive curse on a batch of his muffins (which put Chris and Ian's friend Michael in a food coma), Minilife TV, "Baking Bran (PART 2)"
Reeve: You seem to be laughing a lot, Palmer. As the, quote, "Executive Chief Director of Space 'Akkisition' and All the Cool Space Stuff", end quote, could you explain to me how you spent ten BILLION gil to buy, and I quote again, ten spaces?
Palmer: Oh! Well, that's easy! First you take both your hands, and you make a telescope out of them. And then, what you see in the night sky there? That's one space. And then, you take one billion gil— which is how much one space costs, by the way— And then, you toss it into a fire! And the smoke delivers the payment to space! And that's how you buy space!
President Shinra: Reeve, I would like the Space Program budget to go through you from now on.
Reeve: Thank you, Sir.
Palmer: Oh! Well, that's easy! First you take both your hands, and you make a telescope out of them. And then, what you see in the night sky there? That's one space. And then, you take one billion gil— which is how much one space costs, by the way— And then, you toss it into a fire! And the smoke delivers the payment to space! And that's how you buy space!
President Shinra: Reeve, I would like the Space Program budget to go through you from now on.
Reeve: Thank you, Sir.
"dude you have some serious issues"
"Oh, I’m-a starting to feel like this isn’t worth it. It’s just-a stupid monkey drawings! What kind of-a chump buys this garbage!? BUY WARIOWARE INSTEAD, JERKS!"
Mark Rosewater: There are things even an Un-set won’t do.
— Blogatog
CLEO: Okay, so… if the problem is rapid desalinization...is there any way you could try to...resalinize the ocean?
MOVIE SCIENTISTS: So...what you're suggesting is...we dump the world's table salt reserves into the North Atlantic.
CLEO: I didn't say… well, something like that. Only make it sciency.
MOVIE SCIENTISTS: ...
CLEO: ...
JACK: Ma'am, that idea is too stupid even for this movie.
MOVIE SCIENTISTS: So...what you're suggesting is...we dump the world's table salt reserves into the North Atlantic.
CLEO: I didn't say… well, something like that. Only make it sciency.
MOVIE SCIENTISTS: ...
CLEO: ...
JACK: Ma'am, that idea is too stupid even for this movie.
"Or, hear me out, there is an option C.
"There are a (sadly) large amount of racist fuckwaffles who think that the plague, vaccines, and a whole lot of things are in fact a Jewish conspiracy and the Zionist shadowy 'They' run things... but even they thought 'kikeccine' was stupid and beneath them.
"Oh yeah, the sort of idiots who feature regularly on here, who say shit like 'cuckservative,' 'Holohoax,' 'scientism,' 'Evilution,' and other assorted nonsense thought 'Should I write this? No, that's terrible.' So you're unable to reach a bar that's already laying on the ground."
—Tilver, in response to an incel post complaining about no one outside the incel community using a word incels made up, Fundies Say the Darndest Things
"I will not touch that thing. I'll stick my arm in a wild plothole, I'll fix my little sib's cuts and grazes and change my baby cousins' nappies, I'll disembowel a Sue with a sabre, I'll even help Mum make liver for dinner, but I will not pick up roadkill."
— Agent Foxglove, Protectors of the Plot Continuum, "Moaning Mary, Simpsons Sue"
"[...] So I dialed up some of my contacts at Biopreparat - us spies end up owing each other favors after a while - and they denied it. Vehemently. Not your usual cover-up horseshit, either, they clearly stated that whatever [the SCP in question] was carrying, it wasn't theirs and they wanted no part of it. Sounded like he was gonna puke when I mentioned [REDACTED]. And doctor, do you have any idea of what it takes to make a bioweapons researcher sick?"
Unnamed USA Agent on SCP-741, SCP Foundation
, SCP FoundationNo testing involving SCP-4999 has been authorized or attempted, due to available data indicating that observation of a subject precludes its manifestation, as well as ethical concerns.
—SCP Foundation, regarding SCP-4999
"I've seen a woman impaled from vag to mouth on a spear...and this makes me feel dirty..."
—The Cinema Snob reviewing Child Bride
"You all know I am all for freedom of expression, but damn there are things out there that fucking test you!"
—Count Dankula on a GG Allin song
"Exploding a man's head is one thing, but stealing? I have morals, Bat."
—Kenshiro, Dub of the North Star
"This special has never reaired, and to this day, George Lucas has apparently gone out of his way to make sure that nobody sees it. So just to recap, this is the guy who said this◊ is okay and this◊ is okay, which means that this is the project that he was personally ashamed of. I'm going to go over that again: okay◊, okay◊, personally ashamed of◊. There are not enough toilets in the world to contain the amount of shit-spewing fear that I am going through right now."
◊ is okay and this
◊ is okay, which means that this is the project that he was personally ashamed of. I'm going to go over that again: okay◊, okay◊, personally ashamed of
◊. There are not enough toilets in the world to contain the amount of shit-spewing fear that I am going through right now."The Nostalgia Critic: You know, growing up, I remember seeing a trailer for a Rob Reiner film called North. Even though I never saw it, it looked harmless enough - sort of a quirky comedy about a boy who divorces his neglecting parents and searches the world for better ones. It just looked like any other average family comedy, but what really drew my attention to it was the Siskel & Ebert review:
Gene Siskel: It's junk - first class junk.
Roger Ebert: It's a movie that makes me cringe, even when I'm sitting here thinking about it.
Gene Siskel: It's...it's embarrassing. You feel unclean as you're sitting there.
Roger Ebert: I hated this movie as much as any movie we've ever reviewed in the 19 years we've been doing this show.
The Nostalgia Critic: DAMN. That is HARSH. I mean, these are the guys that reviewed Batman & Robin, Kazaam, the Super Mario Bros. movie, AND the Tom and Jerry movie, and THIS is the movie that made them feel unclean? What the hell could be in it that could be so bad? Come on, kids! Let's find out!
"Christ, this is too awkward even for me! AND I'M SHYAMALAN!"
Whoa, they are purging the fuck out of each other! ...Oh my God - oh shit! That was... okay, yeah. T-that was gross. Wow. Man, I think my eyes were bigger than my stomach on this one, Morty. Ugh. My appetite for purge-spectating got filled pretty quick.
—Rick Sanchez, Rick and Morty, "Look Who's Purging Now"
Morty: Seriously, Rick? Is it really easier to eat human flesh than to just tell me why we're still here?
Rick: ...No. Okay, I'll level with you...
Rick: ...No. Okay, I'll level with you...
—Rick and Morty, "Rickmancing the Stone"
"You're turning me into a criminal when all I want to be is a petty thug."
— Bart Simpson, The Simpsons, "Bart's Girlfriend", to Jessica Lovejoy, moments before she steals the Springfield Church collection plate and frames Bart for it.
SpongeBob: Sorry to interrupt your gloating, sir. I just thought it would be pertinent for you to know that Plankton is laying on the street, forlorn.
Mr. Krabs: Really? He's a mess! [laughs]
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, I know you and Plankton are sworn enemies and all, but putting on a dress to frighten him? Isn't that taking it a little too far?
Mr. Krabs: Need I remind you of the fact that you've disclosed the location of me safe, where I keep the secret formula?
SpongeBob: No need to remind me, sir. I broke Rule #2 of the Krusty Krab Rule Book: Never disclose the location of the secret formula! Don't worry, sir. I can fix this.
Mr. Krabs: Really? He's a mess! [laughs]
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, I know you and Plankton are sworn enemies and all, but putting on a dress to frighten him? Isn't that taking it a little too far?
Mr. Krabs: Need I remind you of the fact that you've disclosed the location of me safe, where I keep the secret formula?
SpongeBob: No need to remind me, sir. I broke Rule #2 of the Krusty Krab Rule Book: Never disclose the location of the secret formula! Don't worry, sir. I can fix this.
— SpongeBob SquarePants, "One Coarse Meal"
Squidward: Mr. Krabs, I can’t believe I’m saying this, but how could you trade Spongebob for 62 cents?!
Mr. Krabs: You think I could’ve gotten more?
Squidward: He stuck up for you and you sold him out! YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF!
Mr. Krabs: You think I could’ve gotten more?
Squidward: He stuck up for you and you sold him out! YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF!
— SpongeBob SquarePants, "Born Again Krabs"
Mr. Krabs: AVAST THERE LADDIES! What's all this ruckerus about now?!
SpongeBob: It's our Krabby Patty toy, Mr. Krabs! And Patrick ate it, so that I couldn't play with it!
Patrick: SpongeBob won't let me play with it!
SpongeBob: Only because you hogged it all night!
Patrick: I did not!
SpongeBob: Did too!
Patrick: Nuh-uh!
SpongeBob: Oh, you toy eater!
Patrick: Tattletale!
Mr. Krabs: Whoa, whoa, whoa there, now! Settle down!! All this brawlin' is over a toy?! You two shouldn't let a little trinket get between youse! You should be ashamed of yourselves. If I gave each of ya another toy, would that make you happy?!!
SpongeBob and Patrick: ...Yes.
Mr. Krabs: Well, you're in luck! You two seem so thrilled with the toy, I had an entire case of 'em made!
SpongeBob: It's our Krabby Patty toy, Mr. Krabs! And Patrick ate it, so that I couldn't play with it!
Patrick: SpongeBob won't let me play with it!
SpongeBob: Only because you hogged it all night!
Patrick: I did not!
SpongeBob: Did too!
Patrick: Nuh-uh!
SpongeBob: Oh, you toy eater!
Patrick: Tattletale!
Mr. Krabs: Whoa, whoa, whoa there, now! Settle down!! All this brawlin' is over a toy?! You two shouldn't let a little trinket get between youse! You should be ashamed of yourselves. If I gave each of ya another toy, would that make you happy?!!
SpongeBob and Patrick: ...Yes.
Mr. Krabs: Well, you're in luck! You two seem so thrilled with the toy, I had an entire case of 'em made!
— Spongebob Squarepants, "Yours, Mine and Mine"
Mr. Krabs: Oh no! I've seen this on the late show! You ghoulish fiends hold me down and take turns nibbling on my innards, then ye eat my brain and leave my body for the buzzards!
Smitty Werbenjägermanjensen: That's disgusting! We just want the hat back!
— Spongebob Squarepants, "One Krabs Trash"
"I may be mean, and I may be a bully, but I'm no tricycle thief!"
— Angelica Pickles, Rugrats, "Tricycle Thief"
"You know, we believe in equality for everybody, and tolerance, and all that gay stuff. But dude, fuck you."
Numbuh Four: So what if I am [participating in bully fights]? I'm just battling adults like we always do.
Numbuh One: Battling adults is one thing. The bully fights are something else!
Numbuh Two: Yeah! The adults we fight are evil! We don't trap 'em and get 'em all hopped up on caffeine like the bullies do. Those adults are barely human by the time they get into that ring!
—Codename: Kids Next Door, "Operation: M.A.T.A.D.O.R."
"I have my standards. They're low, but I have them."
"There are very few principles I have in life. One of them is I don't kick dogs, and the other one is I don't slap women in movies."
