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Quotes / Even the Guys Want Him

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Every woman's husband, and every man's wife.
— Popular Roman epithet for Julius Caesar

His physique is so magnificently shaped that men as well as women become disconnected at the sight of him.
Vincent Canby's description of Joe Dallesandro

So, basically, everyone in this office is sexually attracted to Curtis—man or woman.

Chris: I'd say that they should've just cast John Glover as Lex since he's so good at being an absolutely evil bastard, but that would require them to cut that magnificent head of hair, and that's a step I'm not willing to take.
David: I agree completely. Oh God, I love John Glover's hair. It's as captivating as Erica Durance. I want to swim in its waves.
Chris: I want to make a nest in it and feel safe and warm, like a baby bird.
— Chris Sims and David Uzumeri on Smallville ("Lexmas")

Vince closes the show by promising a (pre-taped) match from Hulk Hogan on the show next week. “Never has 300 pounds looked as good as it looks on *sigh* the 6’8″ frame…”

I swear to you, Vince just sighed and swooned talking about Hulk’s muscley physique.

Their next show should be broadcast from a bath house in San Francisco.

Why can't there be more girls like him?
Hiroshi, Ranma ½' (though for a reason different from others)

Danni: I love The Fugitive. Who would you rather sleep with, Tommy Lee Jones or Harrison Ford?
J.D: (overhearing) Harrison Ford, hands down — but you were probably talking to Carla. I'm having such a gay day.
Carla: "Day"?

God, I'd go gay for that voice.

…this is the only character [in Independence Day] who doesn't suck. Not because of the writing or anything, but because it's fucking Will Smith. The King of Cool. He can make anything sound awesome. He's like the most charming man alive. I don't even know what it is, there's just something about… him.

Why do all the girls like Sasuke so much? Maybe it's his gorgeous eyes? Or his full, pouting lips? Or his sexy, emotionless voice? Come to think of it, why do I like Sasuke so much?

We have the hottest boyfriends in school, they're so hot they make boys drool.

It's not men, it's just… him.
Ianto Jones discussing Captain Jack Harkness, Torchwood: Children of Earth

Oh, c'mon, even straight dudes dig Batman. He's fair game, like Harrison Ford.

I have been told I could make straight men see rainbows.

Wayne: I loved Marky Mark in this, especially with his shirt off, I thought he was super sexy.
Garth: …what?
Wayne: …sorry, that was an inside thought.
Wayne and Garth discuss the 2011 Oscars.

Sam: Did you ever kill anyone?
Mitch: No.
Sam: Did you ever climb Mount Everest?
Mitch: No.
Sam: Did you ever say you could see why women find Sean Connery sexy?
Mitch: Nnnooooo…

He's dainty… I'm not gay, I'm just saying, that's nice. I challenge any dude not to look in his eyes and feel some kind of shit… OK I was like a fag for two seconds.

I had an erotic dream about Henry Rollins last night, and I'm straight as an arrow!
SPHINX Pilot during a Truth-Telling Session, The Venture Bros.

You're not gay if you think Rudy's hot. Unless you are gay and think he's hot, or if you're a het woman and think he's hot. Oh, nevermind. The guy's hot.
Cpl. Josh Ray Person, Generation Kill

He makes chicks cry
You too, c'mon don't lie.
— "MacGyver Theme With Lyrics", Brentalfloss

He has the most extraordinary eyes, and I kept trying to invent excuses for him to take his glasses off in close-ups.

Balls or not, man, I'd totally hit that.
Daru on the subject of Ruka, Steins;Gate

The kind of guys gay men want to fuck become the kind of guys most straight women want to fuck.
Dan Savage

Women want to be with you, men want to be you. And there are some men who both want to be you and be with you. I'll admit it, I have a man-crush.

Ah, Usher. The women want him and the men want him. (Beat) Want to be him... the men want to be him, I mean.
Todd in the Shadows, "The Top 10 Best Hit Songs of 2011."

Bongo: I know this probably won't interest you, but I'd hate myself for the rest of my life if I didn't at least suggest it.
Ace Rimmer: Suggest what?
Bongo: If you're interested, I'll be in my quarters at lunchtime, covered in taramasalata.
Ace Rimmer: I didn't know your bread was buttered that side, Bongo.
Bongo: It isn't, Ace. Been happily married for thirty-five years. It's just a chap like you can turn a guy's head.
Ace Rimmer: I'm sorry, Bongo. Lunch is... on Mellie.
Bongo: Would it make any difference if it was... hummus?
Ace Rimmer: Sorry Bongo. I'm strictly butter-side up.
Bongo: Understood. [Ace leaves] What a guy!
Red Dwarf, "Dimension Jump"

I have to say, [water rafting] is one of those assignments I feared beforehand because Jan Versteegh in a wetsuit is the wet dream of every man and woman. So next to him, I feel like a hairy toothpick in a very stupid outfit.
Ruben Hein, Wie is de Mol?

Peter: How is this dude still alive?
Drax: He is not a dude. You are a dude. This is a... this is a man. A handsome, muscular man.

(219): If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.

How he does it? Only heaven knows.
All the other men turn gay wherever he goes.
Eros and Apollo, Studio Killers

You: You sound like you have a crush on James.
Dan: (laughs) Who doesn't? I swear every straight girl and non-straight guy on this campus has a crush on that dude. Well, or at least want to bone him. Or be boned by him. Or whatever.

Apple Store Employee to Steve Rogers : Oh, I have the exact same glasses.
Natasha Romanoff : Wow, you two are practically twins.
Apple Store Employee : Uh I wish, (gestures up and down Steve's body) Specimen!

"Well, if I were a woman, and I were not around, I should be in love with Rick. But what a fool I am talking to a beautiful woman about another man."
Captain Louis Renault, Casablanca

"You can ask any Tom, Dick, or Stanley,/ And they'll tell you whose team they'd prefer to be on!"
LeFou about Gaston, Beauty and the Beast

"Gonna stamp out your fire
He can change your desire
Don't you know that he can
Make you forget you're a man
You're a man, and he's a man"
"He's Gonna Step on You Again", John Kongos

"Yes, I've always been popular with the ladies. Well... with everyone for that matter."
— Hudson Horstachio, Viva Piñata

Carl: That's the truth. We got a 400 pound uncle he made look like Wesley Snipes.
Mike: He's a handsome man.


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