To the best of my knowledge theres nothing quite like the Eurovision song contest for offering up a must-watch mix of good old state-funded entertainment and high camp,
-Tyler Brûlé, editor-in-chief of Monocle magazine.
"It's like all your talent shows, but instead of laughing at a contestant, we get to laugh at an entire country"
-Anonymous comment on Youtube, explaining Eurovision to a novice.
Terry Wogan: It has brought together the nations of Europe.
Stephen Fry: Has it arse, it's divided east from west!
Terry Wogan: It has brought together the nations Europe on wings of song...and you only have to listen to my commentary to realise how much I believe that.
QI episode "Family".
"We use the term 'European' very loosely."
-Graham Norton on The Graham Norton Show whilst explaining the concept to an American.
"This next performance features a trapeze. Why? Because it's Eurovision!" (Azerbaijan)
"This performance includes a circular piano. Because Eurovision." (Romania)
-Graham Norton, 2014
"There's not enough silliness in the world. Eurovision helps to keep it balanced."
"They're not just comparing apples and oranges, they are comparing apples and oranges and bolts and lightbulbs"
-Stefan Raab on Eurovision (paraphrased) (his entry Lena won but failed to defend her title the year after)
"Here's the formula: You take American Idol, you add Sábado Gigante, and put parentheses around that. Then, you multiply that by Solid Gold. Then you put to the power of Ru Pauls Drag Race. Divide that whole sum by Model UN, and you have the Eurovision Song Contest."