"My idea of movie hell is a place where the floors stick, the sound is half a second out of sync, the person behind me repeats every punchline to his companion and the only films to be seen are the kind that get released in January. It's well known that January films have a character that is, let us say, distinctive. That isn't to call them the year's worst — though many January films certainly have tendencies in that direction — but merely to point out how peculiar they can be. January is to film releasing roughly what the Bermuda Triangle is to navigation."
—New York Times film critic Janet Maslin, "Is January the Cruelest Month?"
"This review is brought to you by January, solely responsible for releasing half of your Worst Films of the Year list. January: because if it's not an Oscar contender, why the f[Sound Effects Bleep]k are you going to a movie theater in January?"
—CellSpex, in her review of Strange Magic
"Released in the January dumping ground of 1996, Lawnmower Man 2 was a colossal failure, opening at 17th on its first weekend. When you're getting beaten by the likes of Biodome and Dunston Checks In, it's time to call it a day."
Mike: Hey, Jay, speaking of movies. Do you know what month it is?
Jay: [face lights up; looks at camera] Fuck you, it's January!
Jay: [face lights up; looks at camera] Fuck you, it's January!
