"You see, Nerd, nobody makes you play these games but yourself, so you're your own damn nightmare."
Don't like? Read anyway. And then bitch to me about it when you're done. It's not like you have anything better to do with your time, right?
You have to go out of your way to watch me on TV. I'm easy to avoid. When people say to me, 'You're on TV too much,' I reply, 'Are you saving the batteries on your remote? There are 200 channels - watch something else!' TV reviewers have the worst job in the world because they're the only people who have to watch TV they don't like. In the same way, you'd have to make a pretty big mistake to buy £25 tickets for you and your missus and think, 'I really hate this guy!' That's a major error - it's more than just bumping your head on a door. But if you're one of those real frightening anal sticklers for Marvel continuity? And you get genuinely angry about people playing fast and loose with Marvel comics canon? Please don't pick it up. You'll have a heart attack, and I don't need that on my conscience, despite the wonders it'd do for my reputation.
If you don't like me, then don't look at me
There must be somebody else
Who can take your gaze aways If you hate this show and absolutely loathe these begging segments where I ask people to support us, and you're still watching this right now... you need serious help. There are medical professionals who are trained specifically to help people like you. They will get you off that computer, they will get you a life, they will get you some hobbies, maybe even some friends and self-esteem. There's simply no reason you need to continue this miserable, awful existence. If you don't like me... fine! Watch anime. "Like for instance, if you're watching a TV show and you decide to take your values from that, you're an idiot. Maybe you should take responsibility for what values your kids are getting. Maybe you shouldn't be letting your kids watch certain shows in the first place if you have such a big problem with them, instead of blaming the shows themselves.
(stares at the audience) Yeah.
"People who respond to reviews of their stories with any variation of 'if you don't like it, don't read it' aren't actually looking for reviews. What they're wanting is their belly rubbed. They're wanting a scritch behind the ears and to be told that they're a good doggie. They don't want criticism. They want blowjobs." "I don't get into the position of defending my books. If they've heard things, if they've read passages out of context and they're concerned, then I'd urge them to read the books themselves. Then if they decide that they absolutely don't want their children to read the books..." I'm like, "Fuck critics, you can kiss my whole asshole!
If you don't like my lyrics, you can press fast forward."
"If something's lame, and it ain't that good, whatcha gonna do? Don't watch it! And don't waste your time trolling the cast just because they agreed to be in a bad movie. You hate it? Well, fine then! Go support something original, why don'tcha?!" "But on the other hand, I'm also an adult, and I have a job, and I don't care if they make a cartoon that I do not like. There are
many cartoons I do not like. What I do about that, is I do not watch them. And it is fine, and nothing happens to me."