Joseph Joestar: Just you guys watch! I'll show you what a man who was able to "whoa whoa" right in the SPW Foundation can do to barter.
(Joseph greets the kebab salesman.)
Joseph: Asalam! How much fer seven peeps worth?
Kebab Salesman: Five bucks.
Joseph: Five bucks?
(Joseph laughs.)
Joseph: How ridiculous can you be? You need to know who you're dealing with.
Joseph Narration: Rule #1: Always appear as if you know how much it's worth. Flatter the guy.
Kebab Salesman: How much are you buyin' for?
Joseph Narration: Now they try to gauge how much the customer is willing to spend. This is your chance! Say a price you think is just a bit too "whoa".
Joseph: Make it 7 peeps worth at a cent.
Kebab Salesman: 4.50, I can't go lower than that!
Joseph: Sell it for 1 cent. Begin the barter! 1 cent! 1 cent! 1 cent! 1 cent! 1 cent! 1 cent! 1 cent! 1 cent!
Kebab Salesman: 4.50! 4.50! 4.50!
Joseph: 1 cent! 1 cent! 1 cent! If it's not 1 cent, I dun want it~ dun want it~
Kebab Salesman: Fine, take it for 1 cent.
Joseph Narration: Huzzah!
(Joseph greets the kebab salesman.)
Joseph: Asalam! How much fer seven peeps worth?
Kebab Salesman: Five bucks.
Joseph: Five bucks?
(Joseph laughs.)
Joseph: How ridiculous can you be? You need to know who you're dealing with.
Joseph Narration: Rule #1: Always appear as if you know how much it's worth. Flatter the guy.
Kebab Salesman: How much are you buyin' for?
Joseph Narration: Now they try to gauge how much the customer is willing to spend. This is your chance! Say a price you think is just a bit too "whoa".
Joseph: Make it 7 peeps worth at a cent.
Kebab Salesman: 4.50, I can't go lower than that!
Joseph: Sell it for 1 cent. Begin the barter! 1 cent! 1 cent! 1 cent! 1 cent! 1 cent! 1 cent! 1 cent! 1 cent!
Kebab Salesman: 4.50! 4.50! 4.50!
Joseph: 1 cent! 1 cent! 1 cent! If it's not 1 cent, I dun want it~ dun want it~
Kebab Salesman: Fine, take it for 1 cent.
Joseph Narration: Huzzah!
Davy Jones: One soul is not equal to another!
Captain Jack Sparrow: Aha! So we've established the proposal is sound in principle, now we're just haggling over the price.
Captain Jack Sparrow: Aha! So we've established the proposal is sound in principle, now we're just haggling over the price.
Professor Vooshka: How much rent you asking?
Barnes: Well I'm, I'm only a simple man you see, I, I don't understand figures. (Beat) Thirty quid a week. (Professor Vooshka gasps)
Professor Crump: £30?! You must be insane.
Barnes: All right then, all right twenty-five, take it or leave it.
Professor Crump: We'll leave it!
Professor Vooshka: We're taking. Fifteen quids a veek.
Barnes: Twenty.
Professor Crump: Now look here, the only reason we want this dilapidated mobile hovel is for somewhere to do our operations.
Barnes: Operations? (Beat) What kind of operations?
Professor Crump: Somewhere to examine our artifacts.
Professor Vooshka: He will be getting them out and I shall be examining them, and then shticking labels on them.
Barnes: You, you do what you like - it's still twenty quid a week.
Professor Vooshka: Fifteen is last offer, da?
Barnes: Fifteen for my lovely home?!
Professor Vooshka: Da.
Barnes: Right, but I'm not leavin' the beddin'!
Dorien: He wanted £40 for it, so I offered thirty.
Tracey: An' wha' didja settle on?
Dorien: Fifty-five. He had muscles to die for.
(Peter lies in a coffin, then wakes up)
Peter: I'll take this one, but I won't pay a cent over 60 bucks.
Salesman: Sir, that casket costs $1000.
Peter: Okay, 70 bucks.
Salesman: What?
Peter: 2000 bucks!
Salesman: That's twice what it costs.
Peter: 40 bucks.
Salesman: What?
Brian: He...he doesn't know how to haggle.
