Ahh, Boss, I know this is the part where you're supposed to say something cocky and defiant, but is that really wise? Judging from past experience and what little I've heard, I'm thinking you're following the pattern where you start out in a lot of trouble, and then through a series of brilliantly chosen words, make it infinitely worse. Futhermore, when you're in this mood, you have a nasty habit of drawing those around you into the swamp. So maybe, just this once, could you quit while you aren't too far behind?
— Melchior, WebMage
Because when you've dug yourself into a hole that deep, the only option is to keep digging in the hope that you can escape to China.
Tart: (growls) I'll always be the ugly, big-butt bird! You guys' constant chatter is irritating. Hmmph...
Bakumaru: Hey! Wait, Tart!... Jeez, acting all saucy... Who are you? The one calling herself ugly, big-butt, and hysterical?
Urii: You added one more.
Bakumaru: ...ah, did I?...
Bakumaru: Hey! Wait, Tart!... Jeez, acting all saucy... Who are you? The one calling herself ugly, big-butt, and hysterical?
Urii: You added one more.
Bakumaru: ...ah, did I?...
I... love you. (beat) Anakin. (beat) In character, that is. (beat) By "in character" I mean I don't really love you. By "I" I mean... not me Padmé, but me Jim. I mean I love what you're doing with Anakin. Annie. I mean me, Jim, loves that. Padmé doesn't love you because... well... that doesn't make sense. If she did know you she'd probably love you. I mean, you're pretty nice. (beat) That's you, Annie, not Anakin. Not that Anakin's not nice. (beat) Well, actually he isn't. You know what I, Jim, mean?
—Jim/Padmé, to Annie/Anakin, Darths & Droids
Sandra: Hey Liz, why so serious?
Larisa: That dumb cow Michelle called me a slut!
Sandra: Aw, come on, don’t listen t–
Larisa: She’s only saying that ’cause I like to dress sexy to appeal to boys. What’s slutty about that!? Please!? And anyway, I’m sure that I haven’t kissed more than a dozen boys in my life and not one of them meant much to me!
Sandra: Some people just shouldn’t try to defend themselves…
Larisa: That dumb cow Michelle called me a slut!
Sandra: Aw, come on, don’t listen t–
Larisa: She’s only saying that ’cause I like to dress sexy to appeal to boys. What’s slutty about that!? Please!? And anyway, I’m sure that I haven’t kissed more than a dozen boys in my life and not one of them meant much to me!
Sandra: Some people just shouldn’t try to defend themselves…
"Ah! You can read... I mean, you are reading. Sorry. It's nice to see people reading. Not a lot of people read these days. People prefer to... hear. But all this 'hearing' is just reading for lazy people. Kids today should be prepared to pick up a book, and not just go around the whole time with all these modern... ears. Sometimes I just wanna rip people's ears off and say 'Read a book, for God's sake!'... Well, actually I'd probably say 'Read a book' first and then rip their ears off, otherwise they wouldn't hear me, hehehe... Actually, I probably wouldn't rip their ears off at all, I'm not a violent person. I like ears! Especially women ears, they're my favorite. I don't mean I collect them or anything! I don't have a big bucket of women ears hidden away somewhere. No, No, No, I'm not after your ears really. Not that there's anything wrong with your ears! You know if I was some kind of mad ear person, your ears would be the pride of my... ear bucket."
— Jeff Murdock, Coupling — "The Girl with Two Breasts"
"It's like your mouth is falling down the stairs."
— Ray Barone, Everybody Loves Raymond
"If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'."
—John Marston quoting Landon Ricketts, as his wife jokingly asks him about an affair, Red Dead Redemption
Brian: Yeah, well, the thing is Meg is becoming a little...enamored with me and...I'm kinda losing control of the situation.
Lois: Oh, she's just grateful you took her to the dance.
Brian: Well, uh...I-I think it's more than that. Uh...So, here's the thing and don't get mad, and that part I can't stress enough. That's a great shirt by the way. Um....I may have made out with Meg. (beat; Lois decks him) Okay, I had that coming.
Lois: What the hell is wrong with you, you sick bastard?!
Brian: Look, I was drinking...
Lois: Oh, what a shock!
Brian: (sarcastic laughter) Look, the short version is, this morning, she made me eat her hair pie. (POW!) No, it's not what you think. Stewie had some, too. (POW!) Stop punching me!
Lois: Look, Brian, I don't know what the hell happened between you two, but you better go upstairs and straighten it out right now!
—Family Guy, "Barely Legal"
Rumisiel: Can I ask you a question about being a dad? WAIT! That could be taken the wrong way! It's really more about family and forgiveness.
Dr. Upton: Would you like a shovel for that hole?
Rumisiel: I'm not having sex with your daughter and she isn't pregnant!
Dr. Upton: Would you like a shovel for that hole?
Rumisiel: I'm not having sex with your daughter and she isn't pregnant!
"Don't walk away! I'm trying to apologize, you dumb noodleloaf!" *Face Palm*
— Calvin attempting to apologize for calling Susie a boogerbrain, Calvin and Hobbes
"Chuck, are you sure this is the right play? I mean, in my experience, the bigger the lie, the harder it can be to dig out."
— Jimmy McGill, Better Call Saul
Quentin: I don't understand this, Julia. You don't belong here any more than I do. You're not like these people. You didn't learn what you know from a bunch of unlicensed losers in a frat house. You can't have.
Julia: Maybe I am not who you think I am. Maybe I am an unlicensed loser too.
Quentin: That's not what I'm saying. I can't believe they haven't burned this whole house down by now.
Julia: I think what you are trying to say is that you do not think they are good enough. They do not meet your standards.
Quentin: This isn't about standards! This is about - look, I paid my dues, that's all I'm saying. You have to earn this kind of power. You don't just pick it up at the 7-Eleven with your Big Gulp and your Pokemon trading cards.
Julia: And what did I do? You think I did not pay dues?
Chidi: So your job was to defraud the elderly. Sorry, the sick and elderly.
Eleanor: But I was very good at it. I was the top salesperson five years running.
Chidi: Okay, but that's worse. I mean, you... you do get how that's worse, right?
Eleanor: But I was very good at it. I was the top salesperson five years running.
Chidi: Okay, but that's worse. I mean, you... you do get how that's worse, right?
BoJack Horseman: I didn't groom anyone, okay? It's not like I got Sarah Lynn drunk for the purpose of taking advantage of her, she was ten! I didn't even have sex with her until she was thirty!
Biscuits Braxby: I'm sorry, what?!
BoJack: No, I just mean that—
Biscuits: Did you say you had sex with her?
BoJack: Th-that was later, she was an adult! And-and we were both so drunk and high I didn't-we didn't know what we were doing!
Biscuits Braxby: I'm sorry, what?!
BoJack: No, I just mean that—
Biscuits: Did you say you had sex with her?
BoJack: Th-that was later, she was an adult! And-and we were both so drunk and high I didn't-we didn't know what we were doing!
Policeman: Engines going on public roads must have their wheels covered and a cowcatcher in front, to protect people and animals from being dragged under the wheels if they stray onto the line. You haven't, so you are dangerous.
Thomas' Driver: Rubbish! We've been along here hundreds of times and never had an accident!
Policeman: That makes it worse!
Thomas' Driver: Rubbish! We've been along here hundreds of times and never had an accident!
Policeman: That makes it worse!
— Thomas & Friends, "Thomas in Trouble"
Wade: You're so hot.
Ember: Excuse me?
Wade: No! I mean like, you're smoking! No! I didn't mean it like—
Ember: Are you done yet?
Wade: Yes, please.
Ember: Excuse me?
Wade: No! I mean like, you're smoking! No! I didn't mean it like—
Ember: Are you done yet?
Wade: Yes, please.
Ratchet: This company's never been more profitable!
Bigweld: Profits shmofits! Now get out!
Ratchet: No, wait! Please, listen to me! You can't do this to me! This job is my life! It means everything to me! You don't know what I've done to get here! The lies I've told! The lives I've ruined! [...] This isn't helping me.
Bigweld: Profits shmofits! Now get out!
Ratchet: No, wait! Please, listen to me! You can't do this to me! This job is my life! It means everything to me! You don't know what I've done to get here! The lies I've told! The lives I've ruined! [...] This isn't helping me.
— Robots
