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Quotes / Destroy All Humans!

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At the end of every level, newspapers show up to "explain" your actions to the human populace

Destroy All Humans!

  • Mission 1: Destination Earth!:
    Cattle Mutilation Pandemic
    Farmer Disappears Amidst Cow Abuse Allegations.
  • Mission 2: Earth Women Are Delicious:
    Disaster At Rockwell Fair
    Fairground Left In Tatters By Freak Storm.
  • Mission 3: Citizen Crypto:
    Mayor Declares Town Safe!
    'Exploding Cows Under Control', Declares Town Official.
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  • Mission 4: Alien Pool Party:
    Motel Party Madness
    Santa Modest Youths Caught In Violent Jazz Hysteria.
  • Mission 5: Televisions of Doom!:
    Freak Lighting Strikes Entire Block! Kills 12.
    Local Electrician To Answer In Court For Faulty Ground Wiring.
  • Mission 6: Aliens Stole My Brain Stem!:
    Stunded Sniper Strikers Again!
    Sixteen Die As Deformed Lurker Stalks Clancy Street Estate.
  • Mission 7: This Island Suburbia:
    All-American "Fast Food" Sensation!
    Government Scientists Helping To Defend Against Communism Through Better Cuisine.
    Government Agent Abducted?
    Soviets Deny Double-Agent Defection!
  • Mission 8: Teenage Zombies From Outer Space!:
    Furon Flix Hit Stix
    "Meet The Furons" Has Something For Everyone.
  • Mission 9: South By Southwest:
    Mysterious Blaze Destroys Motel!
    Manger Blames Alien Invaders, Officials Blame Faulty Wiring.
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  • Mission 10: Foreign Correspondent:
    Bert Whither Assassination Scare!
    Safety Fear Cause American News Icon To Run To Ground, Says "The News Cannot Be Silenced!"
    SMCBS Uproar!
    Whither Threatens To Leave Newsdesk Over Salary Dispute!
  • Mission 11: Suburbs of the Damned:
    Whither To Address Nation At 6PM!
    SMCBS Remain Tight-Lipped Over Content Of "News Special"
    Bert Whither - Prophet Or Puppet?
    Surprise Broadcast Fuels Hunt For Communists
  • Mission 12: Whatever Happened to Crypto-136:
    Scientist Found Dead!
    Renowned Xenobiologist Found Slumped Next To His Prized Specimen.
  • Mission 13: The Mutant Menace:
    Secret Lab Destroyed
    Insurgent Targets Cilvillan Lab, Cure For World Hunger Research Halted.
  • Mission 14: Duck and Cover:
    Airfield Destroyed!
    Experimental Fighter Explodes, Faulty McGuffin Sprockets Blamed.
  • Mission 15: It's a Wonderful Armageddon:
    Reds - 2, America - Nil
    Red Saucer Flattens Santa Modesta Shopping District.
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  • Mission 16: Furon Down!:
    Fire Ravages Island!
    Authorities Deny Explosion, Blame Local Delinquents
  • Mr. Crypto Goes to Capitol City:
    America Infiltrated!
    Octagon Locked Down, Search For Pint-Sized Spy in Progress
  • Mission 18: Armquist vs the Furons!:
    Armquist Exposed!
    Red General Killed In Failed Coup D'etat Attempt!
  • Mission 19: The Lone Gunman:
    President In Peril!
    Officials Say Huffman Is Recovering, Has Minor Headache.
  • Mission 20: The Furon Filibuster:
    Reds Blamed For Senator Slaughter.
  • Mission 21: Shocking Development:
    Explosions Destroy New Power Substations!
  • Mission 22: Attack of the 50-Foot President:
    President Found Alive!
    US Government Fights Off Commie Invaders On Home Soil!

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