When I was young and just a bad little kid
My momma noticed funny things I did
Like shootin' puppies with a BB-Gun
I'd poison guppies, and when I was done
I'd find a pussy-cat and bash in its head
That's when my momma said,
("What did she say?")
She said: "My boy, I think someday
You'll find a way
To make your natural tendencies pay
You'll be a dentist
You have a talent for causing things pain
Son, be a dentist
People will pay you to be inhumane
Your temperament's wrong for the priesthood
And teaching would suit you still less
Son, be a dentist
You'll be a success!"
Here he is folks, the leader of the plaque.
Watch him suck up that gas. Oh my God!
He's a dentist and he'll never ever be any good!
Who wants their teeth done by the Marquis de Sade?
("Oh that hurts! Wait, I'm not numb!")
("Ah, shuddup, open wide, HERE I COME!!")
I am your dentist
And I enjoy the career that I picked
I'm your dentist
And I get off on the pain I inflict
I thrill when I drill a bicuspid
It's swell, though they tell me I'm mal-adjusted
And though it may cause my patients distress
Somewhere... Somewhere in heaven above me...
I know... I know that my momma's proud of me.
"Oh, Momma..."
'Cause I'm a dentist...
And a success!
My momma noticed funny things I did
Like shootin' puppies with a BB-Gun
I'd poison guppies, and when I was done
I'd find a pussy-cat and bash in its head
That's when my momma said,
("What did she say?")
She said: "My boy, I think someday
You'll find a way
To make your natural tendencies pay
You'll be a dentist
You have a talent for causing things pain
Son, be a dentist
People will pay you to be inhumane
Your temperament's wrong for the priesthood
And teaching would suit you still less
Son, be a dentist
You'll be a success!"
Here he is folks, the leader of the plaque.
Watch him suck up that gas. Oh my God!
He's a dentist and he'll never ever be any good!
Who wants their teeth done by the Marquis de Sade?
("Oh that hurts! Wait, I'm not numb!")
("Ah, shuddup, open wide, HERE I COME!!")
I am your dentist
And I enjoy the career that I picked
I'm your dentist
And I get off on the pain I inflict
I thrill when I drill a bicuspid
It's swell, though they tell me I'm mal-adjusted
And though it may cause my patients distress
Somewhere... Somewhere in heaven above me...
I know... I know that my momma's proud of me.
"Oh, Momma..."
'Cause I'm a dentist...
And a success!
— The Dentist Song, Little Shop of Horrors
Dr. Loboto: I hate to be so blunt, but YOU have the insanity... of a manatee!
Dogen: I know, people are always saying that. What do you think's wrong with my brain, doctor?
Dr. Loboto: How should I know? I'm a dentist. But here's what I do know: if the tooth is bad, we pull it!
Dogen: I know, people are always saying that. What do you think's wrong with my brain, doctor?
Dr. Loboto: How should I know? I'm a dentist. But here's what I do know: if the tooth is bad, we pull it!
"Is it safe?"
— Dr. Christian Szell, Marathon Man, during that scene.
"If you're wise, powerful and enjoy inflicting pain on the helpless, you're either a Dentist, or a Warlock."
— Flavor Text for the Warlock, Gems of War
"That's the dentist of the future."
— Dr. Light, Mega Man (Classic), when he saw Metal Man for the first time
Rogers: You see, it appears you have a glaring blemish on your record.
Katherine: Like what?
Rogers: You're a dentist. Where, by trade, you chose to inflict pain and suffering on countless people.
Katherine: Like what?
Rogers: You're a dentist. Where, by trade, you chose to inflict pain and suffering on countless people.