Quotes / Delivery Stork

Random Girl: ...And mommy kissed daddy, and the angel told the stork, and the stork flew down from heaven, and left a diamond under a leaf, in the cabbage patch, and then the diamond turned into a baby!
Pugsly: Our parents are having a baby too.
Wednesday: They had sex.

—Addams Family Values

Todd: Daddy, was Mommy a monkey? I can't remember.
Ned: No one was ever a monkey! Everything is what it was and always will be! God put us here and that's that!
Todd: But you said a stork brought me.
Ned: Um...that was God disguised as a stork.
Rod: Who brings baby storks?
Ned: There's no such thing as storks! It's all God!
Todd: (praying to a stuffed stork) Please bless Daddy...
Ned: STOP PRAYING TO THAT STORK!

—The Simpsons, "The Monkey Suit"

A stork was a large European bird, about half the size of a Bermuda Ern. Children who wanted to know where babies came from were sometimes told that they were brought by storks. People who told their children such a thing felt that their children were too young to think intelligently about wide-open beavers and all that.

—Breakfast of Champions

"For as long as can be remembered, storks delivered babies. From their perch on Stork Mountain, it was an honor and a privilege to serve. It was our duty, our core belief, the driving force behind our very life blood. It wasn't always easy. This was our challenge. This was our sacred duty. No matter how tough or impossible or brutal or harsh or inhumane or savage, we would triumph over adversity.

"Thank goodness we don't do that anymore."

—Storks

Look out for Mr. Stork, that persevering chap.
He'll come along and drop a bundle in your lap.
You may be poor or rich. It doesn't matter which;
Millionaires, they get theirs, like the butcher and the baker,

So, look out for Mr. Stork. And let me tell you, friend:
Don't try to get away; he'll find you in the end.
He'll spot you out in China, or he'll fly to County Cork,
So, you'd better look out for Mr. Stork!

Look out for Mr. Stork. He's got you on his list.
And when he comes around, it's useless to resist.
Remember those quintuplets and the Woman in the Shoe?
Maybe he's got his eye on you.

—Dumbo, "Look Out for Mr. Stork"

I really wanna make fankids for all the ships I like, and i'm continuing with a Sonadow baby. But have no fear! There is no male pregnancy involved! Ew.

What happened was that Sonic hoped and prayed for a child and one day the stork arrived with a baby girl. He was so happy that he and Shadow were fathers now. They named her Shadelyn.

—Description of "Shadelyn the Hedgehog", a Sonic the Hedgehog Fan Art

Asterix: "You still think storks deliver babies?"

Obelix: "Why not? I deliver menhirs, don't I?"

— Asterix, "Asterix and Son"

Drew: "We all start out as a tiny egg."

Angelica: "An egg?!"

Charlotte: "Oh, Drew, you're making it so complicated! Look, sweetie: to make a baby, mommies and daddies need to... well, they need to—"

Drew: "Call the stork!"

Angelica: "The stork?!"

Charlotte: "The stork?!"

Drew: "Right, the stork! Y'know, that really big ugly bird with feathers?"

Angelica: "So the stork brings them a baby?"

Drew: "Right."

Angelica: "Wait a second— I thought you said babies come from eggs."

Charlotte: "They do."

Drew: "Stork eggs."

— Rugrats, "The Stork"

Lynn Sr.: "Now, you see, Lincoln, going on tour with us would be quite exhausting for mommy, and mommy needs to be strong when the stork comes because..."

Lynn Jr.: "She has to wrestle him for the baby!"

— How Lynn Clogged the Toilet for the First Time

"You ask your mama if you came from the stork. She says, 'No, little baby; you came from a test tube topped with a cork.'"

— Mork, Mork & Mindy

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