Quotes / Death Trap

Dr. Evil: Scott, I want you to meet daddy's nemesis, Austin Powers.
Scott: What, are you feeding him? Why don't you just kill him?
Dr. Evil: No Scott, I have a better idea. I'm going to place him in an easily escapable situation that would allow an overly elaborate and exotic death.

— Austin Powers, International Man of Mystery

Ricochet: If'n [Megatron] breaks loose, or if I throw this big switch on the wall, he gets zapped, ground up an' roasted... it ain't gonna kill him, but it do dump him inna thousand-meter drop fulla old cables and nasty sharp edges, and at the bottom of it all... the ol' standby, big-aft fraggin' vat o' acid! You gettin' alla this, Megsy?
Megatron: I do believe so. You weren't satisfied with merely one cliché deathtrap, so you went with five.
Ricochet: Anythin' worth doin' is worth overdoin.'

— "Do Over", Transformers: Shattered Glass

The Music Meister: "♪ Gears grinding,
Ropes binding,
Coils winding,
For a super sap!
Death trap!
Pistons panging,
Clamps a'clanging,
Springs spranging,
It's the last lap,
Death trap!♫"

No encore for you this time, Batman! And I'm afraid it's closing night for my little birdie, too. A shame; we could have made such sweet music! But now the world awaits my final number... and I shouldn't keep them!
Black Canary: "♪ Acid steaming,
Blades gleaming,
Lasers beaming,
Final nightcap!
Death trap!
Bones crushing,
Flesh mushing,
Gore gushing,
It's a dirt nap!
Death trap!
Death trap!
Death trap!♫"
[Batman and Black Canary escape]
Batman: Was the singing really necessary?

— Batman: The Brave and the Bold - Mayhem Of The Music Meister!

"Here is your father tied up on the tracks, and here is the train of death right on schedule. You see Mr. Drake, if the train of death doesn't kill your father, then maybe those crates of TNT will, not to mention the two ton anvil hanging over his head, and... Oh, and look there's the pendulum of doom! What's the pendulum of doom doing there? I did not order the pendulum of doom! That's overkill, get rid of it!"

— Mr. Chairman, Looney Tunes: Back in Action

“There are three reasons to put someone into a death trap: to delay someone you don’t wanna kill while you take care of some business, to scare someone, or to kill them. The bit about heroes escaping from the death trap at the last second? That was usually just that the villain in question wanted to keep someone really busy for a couple of hours without actually killing them. So, you tie their girlfriend to a log and run it through the sawmill, a classic old melodrama bit. The point being, at the crucial moment, whoever you’re targeting has better things to do than fuck with you. As for scaring people - well, there are people, mostly snotty rich kids and middle class matron types, who just don’t GET that they can be hurt, that people would actually pull out a gun and SHOOT them. So, you throw a scare into them. You put them into the classic death trap, and arrange for someone to save them at the last minute. Mind you, it’s crucial that they don’t save themselves. Someone ELSE has to save them. It puts the fear of GOD into them. It works a lot better’n just shooting ‘em, because they’re helpless and they can see it coming. And lastly, as for just killing them? Why not just pull out a gun and shoot them? Well, mostly that’s a matter of making a statement. He died of a gunshot? That could be almost anyone, it’s almost boring. He’s ripped into a thousand shreds? He’s torn limb from limb by a lion? He’s sliced in two lengthwise? Now, THAT makes a statement! And, if you do it right, you can establish an alibi for yourself when it happens. [... A]ll those ‘near-escapes’ that you keep hearing about? That was the Hays Office version. In real life, we supervillains played for keeps. One of the reasons why there were so many short-lived superheroes was that they were literally short-lived."

— Mephisto the Mentalist, Whateley Universe

Twin's job is to infiltrate the underground hideout of a scientist named Michelangelo Piran who can create petroleum from water and kill him. Unfortunately, Piran is guarded by the world's most elaborate deathtrap — seven full stages far beyond anyone's most perverse nightmares. Not only is Twin forced to traverse — completely nude — across a scorpion pit, a greenhouse filled with poisonous plants, an acid bath, a red-hot burning tunnel, a ladder made of razor blades, a bath of warm rotting flesh, and a pitch-black room filled with ninjas (!), but he is ultimately forced into the most bizarre game of checkers ever created. Six games on an giant board filled with colored lights. On the other side are forty nude women, all either violently psychotic or mentally retarded, each in a separate cage. Whenever Twin loses a game or is forced to crown Piran (who is playing electronically from a hidden location), one cage opens, and Twin has only a few minutes to bring her to orgasm or else he dies. Twin loses every game against the genius Piran, but since he manages to successfully screw all of the women into normalcy, he is allowed to live and face his opponent.

— Review of TNT #1: The Madness Begins from Johnny LaRue's Crane Shot

Laser hallway. How cliché. What's next, the floor is lava? A room filled with sharks?

— Nightwing, Gotham City Garage

They're not traps. They're adversity mechanisms.

— Mad Scientist, Skin Horse

"You don't know what a delightful dilemma it was, trying to decide on the most appropriate method for your demise. I had so many ingenious ideas, I didn't know which to choose! So, I decided... to use them all."

— Professor Ratigan, The Great Mouse Detective

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