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Quotes / Crouching Moron, Hidden Badass

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"I am Michael J. Caboose, and I hate babies!"
— Textbook example Ditz Michael J. Caboose, seconds before wiping out an entire army

"Alright. You've had your fun. And if you don't clear out now... there'll be real trouble. I mean it."
David Sumner (Dustin Hoffman), Straw Dogs (1971)

"I think the sidekick just stepped up, Monkey Style."
Shego, Kim Possible

Sora: How'd a wimp like you get into Organization XIII? I bet you can't even fight.
Donald: Yeah, but we can!
Demyx: You shouldn't judge anyone by appearance.
...
Demyx: Oh, we do too have hearts! Don't be mad...
Donald: You can't trick us!
Demyx: Silence, traitor.

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Doctor Light: What is your primary mission?
Megaman: To destroy the evil robots and stop Dr. Wily.
Doctor Light: Good. And your secondary mission?
Megaman: To be an idiot.
Beat
Doctor Light: Close enough. Let's get you a blaster.
Bob and George inadvertently justifying it

Prince Ashitaka: Give back the head.
Jigo: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Kid, listen, everybody wants to have everything in life, and now I might actually get it!
Prince Ashitaka: Don't make me kill you.
Jigo: Oh, you make it sound so easy.

Naruto, you are the number one most unpredictable person!
Sakura, Naruto

I lost to him?
Sasuke on Rock Lee, Naruto

"You know, only meeting a fellow at lunch or at the races or loafing around country houses and so forth, you don’t get on to his hidden depths, if you know what I mean. Until this moment, if asked, I would have said that Tuppy Glossop was, on the whole, essentially a pacific sort of bloke, with little or nothing of the tiger of the jungle in him. Yet here he was, running to and fro with fire streaming from his nostrils, a positive danger to traffic."
Bertie Wooster , The Ordeal of Young Tuppy

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How the boy could be so clearheaded and resourceful in battle and so confused at all other times Tyrion could never comprehend.
Tyrion, about his squire Podrick Payne, A Storm of Swords

"Man, give that kid a ball and suddendly he is a hero!"
Numbuh 5 about Numbuh 4, after he saved them from a deadly dodgeball game

Strong the Budo: That inferior Chojin is right, Nemesis. You've suffered enough injuries to keep on fighting.
Nemesis: I'm fine, sir! I can keep on fighting!
Strong the Budo: Do not make light of Kinnikuman!
Nemesis: Lord Enma...
Strong the Budo: You're fighting someone who managed to even decisively trump Goldman. He might look like a sniveling weakling, but he's extremely dangerous. You mustn't let him fool you.

"Well? Feel like taking me seriously yet, hmm?"

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I'd like to join the search, but they told me to stay here because I'm old. Seems nobody's aware of just how strong I really am.
Wess, MOTHER 3

The trouble with witches is that they'll never run away from things they really hate. And the trouble with small furry animals in a corner is that, just occasionally, one of them's a mongoose.
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