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Quotes / Crouching Moron, Hidden Badass

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"I am Michael J. Caboose, and I hate babies!"
— Textbook example Ditz Michael J. Caboose, seconds before wiping out an entire army

"Alright. You've had your fun. And if you don't clear out now... there'll be real trouble. I mean it."
David Sumner (Dustin Hoffman), Straw Dogs (1971)

"I think the sidekick just stepped up, Monkey Style."
Shego, Kim Possible

Sora: How'd a wimp like you get into Organization XIII? I bet you can't even fight.
Donald: Yeah, but we can!
Demyx: You shouldn't judge anyone by appearance.
Demyx: Oh, we do too have hearts! Don't be mad...
Donald: You can't trick us!
Demyx: Silence, traitor.

Doctor Light: What is your primary mission?
Megaman: To destroy the evil robots and stop Dr. Wily.
Doctor Light: Good. And your secondary mission?
Megaman: To be an idiot.
Doctor Light: Close enough. Let's get you a blaster.
Bob and George inadvertently justifying it

Prince Ashitaka: Give back the head.
Jigo: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Kid, listen, everybody wants to have everything in life, and now I might actually get it!
Prince Ashitaka: Don't make me kill you.
Jigo: Oh, you make it sound so easy.

Naruto, you are the number one most unpredictable person!
Sakura, Naruto

I lost to him?
Sasuke on Rock Lee, Naruto

"You know, only meeting a fellow at lunch or at the races or loafing around country houses and so forth, you don’t get on to his hidden depths, if you know what I mean. Until this moment, if asked, I would have said that Tuppy Glossop was, on the whole, essentially a pacific sort of bloke, with little or nothing of the tiger of the jungle in him. Yet here he was, running to and fro with fire streaming from his nostrils, a positive danger to traffic."
Bertie Wooster , The Ordeal of Young Tuppy

How the boy could be so clearheaded and resourceful in battle and so confused at all other times Tyrion could never comprehend.
Tyrion, about his squire Podrick Payne, A Storm of Swords

"Man, give that kid a ball and suddendly he is a hero!"
Numbuh 5 about Numbuh 4, after he saved them from a deadly dodgeball game

Strong the Budo: That inferior Chojin is right, Nemesis. You've suffered enough injuries to keep on fighting.
Nemesis: I'm fine, sir! I can keep on fighting!
Strong the Budo: Do not make light of Kinnikuman!
Nemesis: Lord Enma...
Strong the Budo: You're fighting someone who managed to even decisively trump Goldman. He might look like a sniveling weakling, but he's extremely dangerous. You mustn't let him fool you.

"Well? Feel like taking me seriously yet, hmm?"

I'd like to join the search, but they told me to stay here because I'm old. Seems nobody's aware of just how strong I really am.
Wess, MOTHER 3

The trouble with witches is that they'll never run away from things they really hate. And the trouble with small furry animals in a corner is that, just occasionally, one of them's a mongoose.

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