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Quotes / Creator's Apathy

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I asked Michael why it was easier to train oil drillers to become astronauts than it was to train astronauts to become oil drillers and he told me to shut the fuck up. So, that was the end of that talk.

Video Games

"Multiply elf gain.
THIS BUYABLE DOESNT WORK. I know about it, the game is (unfortunantely) balanced around it not having an effect, and by god I am NOT touching the code ever again."
The Recruitment Campaign buyable description, The Christmas Tree

Web Animation

Bethesda: Oh, did you originally go into the mission with three lives? Well, now you have to restart it with one, fuck you.
Yahtzee: But WHY, Wolfenstein: Youngblood?!
Bethesda: Because we hate you, Player. We hate that you exist. Because by existing, you prove that there's an audience for this tosh, forcing us to make it when none of us give much of a shit about it and would much rather be, say, working on the new Doom, or picking biscuit crumbs out of our belly hair.
Zero Punctuation on Wolfenstein: Youngblood


Web Original

If Olivia’s memory is accurate, then the credits of X-Men: Apocalypse should read, “Assistant Director: Bryan Singer’s data plan.” Because according to Olivia, Bryan Singer spent 10 days directing the movie through text messages.

Real Life

"I remember when we were doing the press screening at BAFTA and I was sitting next to this woman journalist and she saw this guy's face and she snorted with derisive laughter. When we turned up for that day on location and saw those aliens, we were so enraged. Everyone had tried so hard, to the best of their abilities but somebody else had thought well, we can just get away with something. And then that journalist's response, people just can't take it seriously after seeing that. Someone just didn't try."

"Stuart's a nice bloke, but to have someone come in, who's never ever seen Star Trek before, and when you say to him, 'Well, my character wouldn't do that,' and he says, 'I don't care, just do it anyway!' — first of all, you wanna punch his lights out, but second of all, he's the director, and you kinda have to do what he says, 'cause he just keeps making you do it over and over again."
Marina Sirtis on Stuart Baird, director of Star Trek: Nemesis

"It didn’t matter if they were fighting robots in Latveria or aliens in the Negative Zone or Mole Monsters in downtown Manhattan; Josh just did not give a shit."
Jeremy Slater on Josh Trank, director of Fantastic Four (2015)

Deep Serpent Assignments are not Team Service Announcements. They are what happens when someone suggests an idea for a Team Service Announcement, but says it in a way that makes me want to do it, but not put any effort into it. So I spend an hour barely animating and mixing together six songs and then slap it on YouTube with a name that voices one of my grievances.