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Quotes / Crapsaccharine World

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"When you look with your eyes,
Everything seems nice,
But, if you look twice,
You can see it's all lies."

"If this is paradise
I wish I had a lawnmower"
Talking Heads, "(Nothing But) Flowers"

"Plastic palace people
Sing silent songs, they dream too long
Their memories just stare"
Scott Walker, "Plastic Palace People"

"The world that so enchanted me was rotten to the core"

"When I first seen Columbia, that sky was the brightest, bluest sky that ever was. Seemed like Heaven. Then your eyes adjusted to the light and you see that sea of white faces looking back at'cha."
Daisy Fitzroy, Bioshock Infinite

Rung: You're saying the more outwardly peaceable and well-adjusted a society, the greater the likelihood-
Rewind: Of it having a sinister underbelly. Yup.
Skids: Even Lovetopia, off Rigel VII?
Rewind: Lovetopia? Please. The Lovetopian elite were selling the lower classes to the Macerators. The 'magic ingredient' in every pint of Yum Yum Juice? An impoverished family of six.
Skids: Cuddlex, in the Benevolon Sector?
Rewind: A wonderful place for a vacation—if you ignore the fact that they breed haemoslaves to fight in service to the Antigod. And don't even get me started on the living hell that is Giggleopolis.

"A paradise deep in the fog. Clear the fog, and you will be surrounded by more happiness. Head for the Tree of Eden with the fruit of paradise in hand."
A stone tablet in Eden, La-Mulana (remake)

"Welcome to the paradise of the eternally lost. In times past, this place was called Eden. Now it is an accursed site of war, where vengeful spirits are lost, wandering the paths of life. Those who enter Eden, do not make light of this place."
The same stone tablet in the Gate of Illusion, La-Mulana (remake)

I've seen the future, you know what it is!? It's a 47-year-old virgin sitting around in his beige pajamas, drinking a banana-broccoli shake, singing "I'm an Oscar Meyer Wiener"! You live up top, you live Cocteau's way: what he wants, when he wants, how he wants! The alternative? Come down here, maybe starve to death.
Edgar Friendly, Demolition Man

"Ilium is just Omega with expensive shoes."
Tela Vasir, Mass Effect 2

"Slap some rainbows everywhere, and boom! The world's still fucked up, but boy is it CUUUUUTE!!!"
President Meat, Sparklecare

Dan: Ah. There it is. The daily reminder that the world I live in is a bleak hellscape.
Aaryanna: At least it's a colourful one?

Ken: What did you find out?
Tommy: That there are more criminals in this town than in prison.

Behind the palace-lined boulevards and Bach fugues, however, boiled a witch's cauldron of secret societies, occultism and debauchery. The upper class of England applauded the easy verses of Pope and the mannered wit of Fielding, then adjourned to revel in drunken lust at the Hellfire Clubs. In France, Madame de Montespan commissioned Black Masses with infant sacrifices to draw the King's love, then to kill him. Few remember that the arch-scientist Newton spent more time studying alchemy than gravity. The Followers of Set flourished in "Enlightened" Europe.
Vampire: The Masquerade - Clanbook: Followers of Set (revised)

Now let's stroll through the heavens like aristomocrats
To the sound of white supremacists in fancy blue hats
Yes, the segregated toilets, how they shine like the sun
Ain't freedom grand? Ain't we got fun?

9: Dystopia
Medicine: Disease has been eliminated, and people live to be 120 in perfect health. As a result, your world is overpopulated and resources are scarce.
Agriculture: Food is mass-produced so that there is plenty for everyone. Special additives in the food guarantee obedience to the government.
Employment: Everyone is guaranteed a job that pays a living wage, so that people are trapped in nightmarish jobs that they can't leave.
Housing: No-one is homeless. People without homes live in institutions, where they are subject to conditioning and experiments.
Education: Citizens may study any available information. The government provides the information that citizens are authorized to see, and records who is reading it.
Law: All issues are decided by fair courts. Mistakes, of course, are never made. How could they be?
Government: The government wants to make sure the citizens are happy.
Civilization, by Vylar Kaftan note 

Peri: Tog, are you sure we're going the right way? It looks like we took a wrong turn east of Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves.
Tog: Pay no heed to it, Peri. This place confounds the senses, masks its dark intent with gaudy colours and bright lights. The plague that turned my world on its head is here, corrupting everything.

Travellers reported that Mousillon was the most wondrous city in Bretonnia, more splendid even that the capital Couronne. The city seemed charmed, its people happy and content. In summer, the white walls of the buildings sparkled in the sun, and in winter, when the rest of the land shivered under the snow, soft breezes kept the streets and houses warm.
But like a gilded goblet made by a shoddy craftsman, the glittering surface of Mousillon hid a rotten interior. The port's prosperity was not due to the hard work and honest of its citizens, but was fuelled by the sorcery of Malfleur and the corrupt dealings of Maldred. Though in daytime, the city streets bustled with all the usual activity of a busy port, the inhabitants of Mousillon had the curious habit of never leaving their homes after dark. At night, the only things that moved through the dark streets of the city were packs of rats and the crews of the night-calling ships. Wrapped in cloaks, hoods pulled over their faces, these silent strangers moved mysterious bundles of cargo backwards and forwards between the dockside warehouses and their sleek black-sailed ships...
Warhammer: Bretonnia Army Book (5th Edition)

"You think that [The Other World] is a dream come true, but you're wrong."
The Cat, Coraline

I prepared to enter his realm, expecting to encounter guardians who would seek to tear into me with talons and fangs. At the least I assumed I would find bastions to bar my progress. I found none. The land before me was open and pristine. Its fields shimmered like gold and its forests bore fruits of sapphires and emeralds. I took a step into this place and instantly knew I was lost just as surely as if I had been impaled on a debtor’s spike.
Cardinal Wogalta, on Slaanesh's realm, Black Crusade: The Tome Of Excess

The cult compound looks like paradise, at least compared to the rest of the world. It’s well kept; the people are clean, friendly, and organized, and there’s even fresh food. It’s also secure, with fences, gatehouses, and armed guards on duty at all times...
—"No Room In Hell - Post-Apocalypse," The End of the World: Zombie Apocalypse

Real Life

"None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe they are free."
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

The hundred million self-confident German masters were to be brutally installed in Europe, and secured in power by a monopoly of technical civilization and the slave-labor of a dwindling native population of neglected, diseased, illiterate cretins, in order that they might have leisure to buzz along infinite Autonbahnen, admire the Strength-Through-Joy Hostel, the Party Headquarters, the Military Museum and the Planetarium which the Fuhrer would have built in Linz (his new Hitleropolis), trot round local picture galleries, and listen over their cream buns to endless recordings of The Merry Widow. This was to be the German Millenium, from which even the imagination was to have no means of escape.
Hugh Trevor-Roper, on the world Hitler intended to create.

The more gentle and nice we make it look, the more vicious the story can be.
Edmund McMillen on the Meat Boy iOS game

Andrew Hussie's memetic assessment of Homestuck's lightheartedness

"But how can we enjoy the bright sunshine when we know the terror that lurks beneath the game? It's not fooling us anymore. We have seen what it becomes. YOU ARE ALL DEMONS! You are all horrible demons and I hate you, walking monsters! Go! Expire! Away, away from us! You wretched demons! You won't take me! Stop your cheery lies! STOP YOUR CHEERY LIES!"
DeceasedCrab upon witnessing what lies beyond Eversion's exterior...

"Think about how many laws have to not exist in that universe for this show to happen. It's apparently legal for a person or corporation to imprison a person, as long as you feed him. It's legal to film and record someone without his knowledge. It's legal to defraud a person out of literally every possible thing he could have in his life, from a real marriage to a real career. If it can be done to Truman, it can be done to anyone, including you. It's as much an 'anything goes' society as The Road Warrior."

"In The Noonday Demon, Andrew Solomon makes the point that depression sufferers see the world, their own circumstances and failings, more accurately than healthy people—positing thus that perhaps optimism is the defining characteristic of the human condition...Millennial advertising actively addresses and discards that we are facing The Sixth Extinction, the one brought on by ourselves, in which the seeds of our own destruction were sown through our need for progress, as Western Civilization turned out to be nothing more than a march to annihilation, one towards which we have been hurtling for thousands of years—today is actually pretty great!

Perhaps 'Pretty Great' itself performs Solomon’s point, pandering as it does to the millennial optimism of millions of young people who see not the world as it is but as it is on the selective reality of their Facebook feeds—on what they see right now. Our doom is programmed in the optimism that is the defining characteristic of our human condition. Thus our doom is programmed in us. We were meant to be this way. We were meant to end the world. Woo-hoo!"
Maya Gurantz, "Don't Be Sad, Millennials: Today Is Actually Pretty Great! (P.S. You're All Going To Die)"

"I get a lot of people saying that because I used to be in Hawai'i , I was so fortunate and that I'm stupid for moving to the mainland. Honestly? Hawaii is a real mixed bag - on one hand, you have the culture, constant flip-flop weather, rain everyday, the most beautiful scenery in the Pacific. On the other? It's expensive as hell, since the price of almost everything is jacked up. You know the stereotype of hawaiians liking that disgusting canned meat? It's because that's the only thing that won't deplete your entire paycheck. If you're one of those geeks who people beat up on a lot? It's utterly pilau. For one, you can NOT keep a secret in Hawai'i. The reason nobody gossips, even in Honolulu is because it'll reach the person you talked about in days if not hours. Get in a high school that has a reputation for being a borderline reform school? Guess what - everyone KNOWS it, and that says a LOT about your character. Hawai'i is also your time zone. If I say, lived in Indiana, I could log onto the web and talk with friends who understand me. In Hawai'i? Everyone in the mainland is in bed during peak logon times - Everyone in Guam, New Zealand, or Australia is still at work, so who's online? The people who just beat you up at school. Better hope the people on the other islands don't have friends with the people you got in a spat with over lunch. It's utter heaven if you are friends with the locals... but if you're a social exile, you have less places to hide on an island than you do in the nice big mainland. It's a gilded cage for an introverted geeky person who people love to pick on for no good reason. Also the bugs are terrible."
—A blogger on why Hawai'i can be this.

"All utopias are depressing because they leave no room for chance, for difference, for the 'miscelaneous.' Everything has been set in order and order reigns. Behind every utopia is a great taxonomic design: a place for each thing and each thing in its place."
Georges Perec


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