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Quotes / Crapsaccharine World

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Audio Plays

Peri: Tog, are you sure we're going the right way? It looks like we took a wrong turn east of Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves.
Tog: Pay no heed to it, Peri. This place confounds the senses, masks its dark intent with gaudy colours and bright lights. The plague that turned my world on its head is here, corrupting everything.

Comic Books

Rung: You're saying the more outwardly peaceable and well-adjusted a society, the greater the likelihood—
Rewind: Of it having a sinister underbelly. Yup.

Film — Animated

"You think that this is a dream come true, but you're wrong."
The Cat, Coraline

"Sunnyside is a place of ruin and despair, ruled by an evil bear who smells of strawberries."
Mr. Pricklepants, Toy Story 3

"What's going on in this candy-coated heart of darkness?!"

Film — Live-Action

"I've seen the future; you know what it is? It's a 47-year-old virgin sitting around in his beige pajamas, drinking a banana-broccoli shake, singing 'I'm an Oscar Meyer Wiener'!"
Edgar Friendly, Demolition Man



The old Baron had decreed a meridian-to-meridian rest from labors, and effort had been spent in the family city of Harko to create the illusion of gaiety: banners flew from buildings, new paint had been splashed on the walls along Court Way. But off the main way, Count Fenring and his lady noted the rubbish heaps, the scabrous brown walls reflected in the dark puddles of the streets, and the furtive scurrying of the people.

9: Dystopia
Medicine: Disease has been eliminated, and people live to be 120 in perfect health. As a result]], your world is overpopulated and resources are scarce.
Agriculture: Food is mass-produced so that there is plenty for everyone. Special additives in the food guarantee obedience to the government.
Employment: Everyone is guaranteed a job that pays a living wage, so that people are trapped in nightmarish jobs that they can't leave.
Housing: No-one is homeless. People without homes live in institutions, where they are subject to conditioning and experiments.
Education: Citizens may study any available information. The government provides the information that citizens are authorized to see, and records who is reading it.
Law: All issues are decided by fair courts. Mistakes, of course, are never made. How could they be?
Government: The government wants to make sure the citizens are happy.
Civilization, by Vylar Kaftan note 


"When you look with your eyes,
Everything seems nice,
But, if you look twice,
You can see it's all lies."

"If this is paradise
I wish I had a lawnmower
Talking Heads, "(Nothing But) Flowers"

Plastic palace people
Sing silent songs, they dream too long
Their memories just stare
Scott Walker, "Plastic Palace People"

Warm glow with a golden shine
Come to rest under the virile vine
Dark flow from the oldest shrines
Blight and blood under the wealth and wine
Miracle of Sound on Toussaint, "Blood and Wine"

Tabletop Games

But like a gilded goblet made by a shoddy craftsman, the glittering surface of Mousillon hid a rotten interior.
Warhammer: Bretonnia Army Book (5th Edition)

I prepared to enter his realm, expecting to encounter guardians who would seek to tear into me with talons and fangs. At the least I assumed I would find bastions to bar my progress. I found none. The land before me was open and pristine. Its fields shimmered like gold and its forests bore fruits of sapphires and emeralds. I took a step into this place and instantly knew I was lost just as surely as if I had been impaled on a debtor’s spike.
Cardinal Wogalta, on Slaanesh's realm, Black Crusade: The Tome Of Excess

The cult compound looks like paradise, at least compared to the rest of the world. It’s well kept; the people are clean, friendly, and organized, and there’s even fresh food. It’s also secure, with fences, gatehouses, and armed guards on duty at all times...
—"No Room In Hell - Post-Apocalypse," The End of the World: Zombie Apocalypse

Video Games

The world that so enchanted me was rotten to the core.

"When I first seen Columbia, that sky was the brightest, bluest sky that ever was. Seemed like Heaven. Then your eyes adjusted to the light and you see that sea of white faces looking back at'cha."
Daisy Fitzroy, Bioshock Infinite

Welcome to the paradise of the eternally lost. In times past, this place was called Eden. Now it is an accursed site of war, where vengeful spirits are lost, wandering the paths of life. Those who enter Eden, do not make light of this place.

"Ilium is just Omega with expensive shoes."
Tela Vasir, Mass Effect 2

It is most likely the smiles. Maybe. Carnivore expressions, syrupy and gleaming, faultless mirrors of the Couturier's dazzling grin. Or maybe it is the second-rate souvenirs cobbled from haberdashery and children's nightmares. The arsenic aftertaste of the candyfloss, the wine-wild quality of the local perfumes. Could be anything. Could just be your insecurities, the error of your existence. Whatever the case, the Lanes continue their watch. Politely, of course.

Web Original

Think about how many laws have to not exist in that universe for this show to happen. It's apparently legal for a person or corporation to imprison a person, as long as you feed him. It's legal to film and record someone without his knowledge. It's legal to defraud a person out of literally every possible thing he could have in his life, from a real marriage to a real career. If it can be done to Truman, it can be done to anyone, including you. It's as much an "anything goes" society as The Road Warrior.

You know the stereotype of Hawaiians liking that disgusting canned meat? It's because that's the only thing that won't deplete your entire paycheck.
—A blogger on why Hawai'i can be this.

Web Video

Now let's stroll through the heavens like aristo-mo-crats
To the sound of white supremacists in fancy blue hats
Yes, the segregated toilets, how they shine like the sun
Ain't freedom grand? Ain't we got fun?

"But how can we enjoy the bright sunshine when we know the terror that lurks beneath the game? It's not fooling us anymore. We have seen what it becomes. YOU ARE ALL DEMONS! You are all horrible demons and I hate you, walking monsters! Go! Expire! Away, away from us! You wretched demons! You won't take me! Stop your cheery lies! STOP YOUR CHEERY LIES!"
DeceasedCrab upon witnessing what lies beyond Eversion's exterior...


"Slap some rainbows everywhere, and boom! The world's still fucked up, but boy is it CUUUUUTE!!!"
President Meat, Sparklecare

Dan: Ah. There it is. The daily reminder that the world I live in is a bleak hellscape.
Aaryanna: At least it's a colourful one?

"They must enrapture you with splendor. Otherwise, you might look down and notice the blood-matted beast who shoulders this city, and your mind will fill with unpleasant truths."
Boar King, Kill Six Billion Demons ("Enyis and the Fivefold Sword")

Real Life

None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe they are free.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

All utopias are depressing because they leave no room for chance, for difference, for the 'miscelaneous.' Everything has been set in order and order reigns. Behind every utopia is a great taxonomic design: a place for each thing and each thing in its place.
Georges Perec

The hundred million self-confident German masters were to be brutally installed in Europe, and secured in power by a monopoly of technical civilization and the slave-labor of a dwindling native population of neglected, diseased, illiterate cretins, in order that they might have leisure to buzz along infinite Autonbahnen, admire the Strength-Through-Joy Hostel, the Party Headquarters, the Military Museum and the Planetarium which the Fuhrer would have built in Linz (his new Hitleropolis), trot round local picture galleries, and listen over their cream buns to endless recordings of The Merry Widow. This was to be the German Millenium, from which even the imagination was to have no means of escape.
Hugh Trevor-Roper, on the world Hitler intended to create.

The more gentle and nice we make it look, the more vicious the story can be.
Edmund McMillen on the Meat Boy iOS game

Andrew Hussie's memetic assessment of Homestuck's lightheartedness


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