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Quotes / Crack Fic

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"Phoenix and friends go to Gourd Lake late one night to hunt for Gourdy. As it turns out, Gourdy exists. AND HE'S ACTUALLY A TENTACLE-MONSTER DEMON KING!"
— Premise of an Ace Attorney crackfic.

"Suddenly, an eight-foot sub sandwich constrictor eng... sm... sploded out of nowhere!"
Strong Bad, Homestar Runner

"Disclaimer: Danny Phantom is owned by Butch Hartman, who would probably vomit into a bucket if he knew this story existed..."
Tavalya Ra, Mind of a Hero, a.k.a. The Crack

"No, they're not the same. A bad fanfic would be Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy having sex with the word penis misspelled. An insane fanfic would be Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy battling ninja vampires using their penises as weapons."
Arkhan, forums

"Peter Griffin went to the store to get all the bread and milk and guess who was there!? That guy from Street Fighter (Zangeif) remember? Then they faught and it was fun."

Professor Colbert: That brings us to today's Wørd.
Professor Colbert: Voldemort. Yes, I said it. I'll say it again. Voldemort. None of this "He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named" or "You-Know-Who" crap for this wizard, thank you very much. Any name is fair game in my classroom.

Feferi: it turns out, I ended up somewhere really cool! And met cool people. I learned a lot, too! (grins evilly, begins to chant) Fire and glub! Fire and glub!
Ask The Heiress comic

I know, I know, but you don't understand how desperately I NEEDED to write this!
— Author TheSoulStealer, in the opening of a Saw & Warrior Cats crossover

The Lord spoke unto the author saying "There will come a day when you shall wonder what Hawkfrost would look like hugging a My Little Pony, and you shall indulge in that curiosity, for it is good in the eyes of the Lord."

The face that was underneath the alien mask smiled menacingly.
"Obama," Donald whispered.

Dobby relished his groinsaw's roar as he withdrew the flesh-choked blade from the astronaut's ruined skull.
The very first line, ThirtyHs


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