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Quotes / Corrupt Church

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The Bible

"...make not my Father's house a house of merchandise."

Someone might argue, "If my falsehood enhances God's truthfulness and so increases his glory, why am I still condemned as a sinner?" Why not say — as we are being slanderously reported as saying and as some claim that we say — "Let us do evil that good may result?" Their condemnation is deserved.

Film - Live-action

IT'S NOT A FUCKIN' BOOK! It's a weapon. A weapon aimed right at the hearts and minds of the weak and the desperate. It will give us control of them. If we want to rule more than one small fuckin' town, we have to have it. People will come from all over, they'll do exactly what I tell 'em if the words are from the book. It's happened before and it'll happen again. All we need is that book.
Carnegie, The Book of Eli


"...the chief difference between myself and other ecclesiastics is that I serve the Devil wittingly and of my own free will, while they do the same in sanctimonious blindness."
Bishop Azéderac, "The Holiness of Azéderac", Clark Ashton Smith

Men have been enslaving each other since they invented gods to forgive themselves for it.

Faith moves mountains...of inventory.

Once upon a time, Christianity created its own enemy and called it Satanism. Everything was a matter of good and evil, plain and simple, black and white . . . but this is a gray world. The two extremes, Christ and Satan, finally merged in the Christian militia. There was always a powerful attraction there; now it's been fulfilled. Christ and Anti-Christ in one. Only took two thousand years.
Seal, Dad's Nuke

Live-action TV

God's blessing has its price.


"So you need a new car?
Let your fingers take a walk
Through the business guide
For the 'Born Again' flock
You'll be keeping all your money
In the Kingdom now
And you'll only drink milk
From a Christian cow"
Steve Taylor, "Guilt By Association"

And here’s to the churches of Mississippi
Where the cross, once made of silver, now is caked with rust
And the Sunday morning sermons pander to their lust
The fallen face of Jesus is choking in the dust
Heaven only knows in which God they can trust
Phil Ochs, "Here’s to the State of Mississippi"

He's got twenty million dollars
In his Heavenly Bank Account
All from those chumps who was
"Born Again"
He's got seven limousines
And a private plane
All for the use of his
Special friends
Frank Zappa, "Heavenly Bank Account"

Tabletop games

We have no need for military might. We wield two of the sharpest swords ever forged: Faith in our left hand, Wealth in our right.
Vuliev of the Ghost Council, Flavor Text for Castigate, Magic: The Gathering


Gabrielle: Has anyone talked to the Bishop?
Countesss: Nowadays, only money talks to the Bishop.
The Madwoman of Chaillot

Video games

Elizabeth: Fifty percent of everything people earn here goes directly to Comstock as a tithe.
Booker: I gotta get me a job in the prophet business.

People want to be told how to act. Most people are idiots, and that's exactly who my teachings appeal to!
Pastor Richards, Pressing Issues (GTA Radio)

Priest: Is God a jar of strawberry preserves, a size 12 sneaker, a footlong Hogie, an all-expense paid trip to Brazil, or a NEWWW CARRRRR!?
Choice number 6: None of the above, it's a trick question.
Priest: Oh, I'm so sorry. He is in fact an all-expense paid trip to Brazil. You have not seen the light, my son... but we shall open your eyes... even if we must shut them first...

Web original

Poverty: The vow taken by members of the Roman Catholic Church (you know them, right? Biggest land-owners on the planet?)
syn: bullshit

Real Life

How it may be lawful and fitting to use falsehood as a medicine, and for the benefit of those who want to be deceived.
Eusebius of Caesarea (c. AD 260 or 265 – 339 or 340), bishop to Emperor Constantine

Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by the rulers as useful.
—Seneca The Younger (4BCE to 65CE)

In every country and in every age, the priest has been hostile to liberty. He is always in alliance with the despot, abetting his abuses in return for protection to his own.

O kind missionary, O compassionate missionary, leave China! Come home and convert these Christians.
Mark Twain, The United States of Lyncherdom

After one of his political speeches in Texas, a group of Baptist elders approached him and offered him a fine church and house in Houston if he would become their minister. He thanked them and said that the offer was very fine indeed but he couldn't take it as he didn't believe in God. "Come now, Mr. Gore, that's not the proposition we made you, is it?"
Gore Vidal on Sen. T.P. Gore, Palimpsest

"Bunch together a group of people deliberately chosen for strong religious feelings, and you have a practical guarantee of dark morbidities expressed in crime, perversion, and insanity."


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