Anime & Manga
"Oh, you couldn't begin to imagine the depths of my suffering there. I spent most of my days strung up like a damned pupating moth trapped over a field of delicate little flowers where angels, fairies, and enchanted stuffed animals lived. They played songs and danced asinine jigs as if their only care in life was when they would get their next warm, fuzzy hug! Instead of ruling the universe with an iron fist, I was serenaded by teddy bears!"
— Frieza describing his personal Hell, Dragon Ball Z: Resurrection 'F'
Fan Works
"Cluny, as of this point every unhelpful word from your mouth earns you an hour in the Death Pit Theatre watching Care Bears reruns!"
— Miss Minty, The Official Fanfiction University of Redwall
Film - Live Action
Dr. Klahn: And as for my American friend... The CIA thinks it can infiltrate the mountain of Dr. Klahn!?
CIA Agent: You can't scare me, you slant-eyed yellow bastard!
Dr. Klahn: ...Take him to Detroit.
CIA Agent: No! No, not Detroit! No! No, please! Anything but That! No! NOOOOOOOOO!!!
CIA Agent: You can't scare me, you slant-eyed yellow bastard!
Dr. Klahn: ...Take him to Detroit.
CIA Agent: No! No, not Detroit! No! No, please! Anything but That! No! NOOOOOOOOO!!!
—The Kentucky Fried Movie, A Fistful of Yen
"You're about to be killed by a Zamboni!"
Literature
"If you children are bad, or if you answer a problem wrong, I'll wiggle my ears, stick out my tongue, and turn you into apples!"
Live-Action TV
Tahani: I'm gonna miss these little perks when I'm down in the Bad Place, being forced to wear a knock-off handbag and drink tap water.
Chidi: That's what you think Hell is?
Chidi: That's what you think Hell is?
Ghost: This is your punishment for terrorizing the boy! You will practice and practice!
Mr. Toggle: HOW MUCH LONGER?!
Ghost: Till eternity, you lazy boy!
Mr. Toggle: HOW MUCH LONGER?!
Ghost: Till eternity, you lazy boy!
— Goosebumps (1995), episode "Piano Lessons Can Be Murder"
"I am going to give you such a movie!"
— Pearl Forrester of Mystery Science Theater 3000, sentencing Mike and the Bots to Hobgoblins after they jump on her couch
Harlan Traub: Mr. President, I know you have a thousand things on your mind, but I would just love to talk to you about how to revolutionize the food processing industry!
Frank Underwood: [to the audience] Please slit my wrists with his butter knife.
Frank Underwood: [to the audience] Please slit my wrists with his butter knife.
Magazines
"Oh, no! The Princess is being forced to listen to a debate by two Fryguys about the names for the little things on the end of your shoelaces!"
— Super Mario Bros., Nintendo Comics System story "You Again?"
Music
Carter power will soon go away
I will be fuhrer one day
I will command all of you
Your kids will meditate in school
I will be fuhrer one day
I will command all of you
Your kids will meditate in school
— "California Über Alles", Dead Kennedys
Professional Wrestling
Tell me if this has ever happened to you: you're at work, your coworker winds you up and you take it a little too far, get into a fight, and are called in front of HR. They tell you this kind of thing is unprofessional, they accept your apology... and then they hand you a piece of janitorial equipment and say "Cool, now tell everyone in the office this is your girlfriend now." That's happened to you, right? Because it sure as [BEEP] happened to Perry Saturn!
— Adam Blampied on the genuine origin behind Perry Saturn's "Moppy" gimmick, "10 WWE Wrestlers Who Were Punished On Air | PartsFUNknown
"
"Video Games
Crushing's too good for him... First, he'll spend a year in the incinerator. Year two: cryogenic refrigeration wing. Then... Ten years in the chamber I built where all the robots scream at you. THEN I'll kill him.
Tali: My gut is telling me to jack his suit's olfactory filters so that everything smells like refuse.
Garrus: Remind me never to get on your bad side.
Garrus: Remind me never to get on your bad side.
Your kind is hard to kill, true. But you can be put into an induced coma, intravenously fed liquified kittens, and forced to listen to Nickelback for all eternity.
—Kirsten Geary, The Secret World
Duke Onkled: Please, your omnipotence, have mercy!
King Harkinian: After you’ve scrubbed all the floors in Hyrule, then we can talk about mercy!
King Harkinian: After you’ve scrubbed all the floors in Hyrule, then we can talk about mercy!
Yan: Pshhh, whatever. Lock me up and throw away the key. I'll be runnin' the joint in a week, just you watch!
Officer: I'm not so sure that will be the case, Mr. Yan... You won't be surrounded by hardened criminals, fighting amongst yourselves for scraps. You see, we believe in rehabilitation...
Yan: Oh, uh, yeah, sure. Did I mention I regret everything I did and I'm good now?
Officer: Even if that were the case, it's not so simple. In the Atara rehabilitation sector, we have our criminals pay off their misdeeds... with kindness.
Yan: Ew! What? That's not even a quantifiable currency!
Officer: For a case as developed as yours, we're going to have to put you in our maximum charity wing.
Yan: Maximum... wha?
Officer: That's right. You'll be sentenced to years of working for charity. Cooking meals and handing them out to the needy. Of course, while being monitored by guards.
Yan: What!? For free!? The needy? Those are the worst kind!
Officer: And perhaps in time, you may even find, as many of our guests have before, that doing good deeds make you into... A better person.
Yan: No...! Noooo...! Nooooooooo!
Officer: I'm not so sure that will be the case, Mr. Yan... You won't be surrounded by hardened criminals, fighting amongst yourselves for scraps. You see, we believe in rehabilitation...
Yan: Oh, uh, yeah, sure. Did I mention I regret everything I did and I'm good now?
Officer: Even if that were the case, it's not so simple. In the Atara rehabilitation sector, we have our criminals pay off their misdeeds... with kindness.
Yan: Ew! What? That's not even a quantifiable currency!
Officer: For a case as developed as yours, we're going to have to put you in our maximum charity wing.
Yan: Maximum... wha?
Officer: That's right. You'll be sentenced to years of working for charity. Cooking meals and handing them out to the needy. Of course, while being monitored by guards.
Yan: What!? For free!? The needy? Those are the worst kind!
Officer: And perhaps in time, you may even find, as many of our guests have before, that doing good deeds make you into... A better person.
Yan: No...! Noooo...! Nooooooooo!
Webcomics
"Personally, good sir, I've never been in favor of the ban on unusual punishment."
— Llewellyn, Ozy and Millie, during jury selection
Cultist Assassin: Oh I know what's going to happen here. You'll start making threats that you're going to do something horrifically violent to me. But then you'll pull something ludicrous out of your arses, such as making me watch Battlefield Earth on DVD, or threatening with mime artists, or perhaps making me go over the Inquisition tax return.
Inquisitor Syrus "Virus" Zuviel: Actually, we were going to have Lothar here cut your bollocks off, then start asking you some questions.
Inquisitor Syrus "Virus" Zuviel: Actually, we were going to have Lothar here cut your bollocks off, then start asking you some questions.
Sam Starfall: I can't work with the police! I have my reputation to think of.
Police Chief: Ah, yes. About that. Things are getting restless. The mayor may declare a state of emergency. If that happens, I'll see that you're issued a full pardon! You'll be absolved of all your crimes! When others of your race encounter humanity and see your records, you'll look like a model citizen!
Sam: Chief, I accept your offer of blackmail.
Police Chief: Ah, yes. About that. Things are getting restless. The mayor may declare a state of emergency. If that happens, I'll see that you're issued a full pardon! You'll be absolved of all your crimes! When others of your race encounter humanity and see your records, you'll look like a model citizen!
Sam: Chief, I accept your offer of blackmail.
— Freefall
Kylo Ren: Now do the hokey pokey and turn yourself around.
Poe Dameron: Argh! These restraints! I can't!
Poe Dameron: Argh! These restraints! I can't!
Western Animation
"I punished Timmy by making him eat chocolate, which in retrospect, wasn't such a good punishment after all."note
—- Mrs. Turner, The Fairly OddParents!: Channel Chasers
Satan: Yours is an agony worse than all others! You will remain in here for eternity listening to... whiny protest songs from the Sixties!
Protest Singer: (playing his guitar) Oh, I hate the government / More than you and me! / The government stole my goldfish / and unplugged my TV!
Warners: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Satan: (preparing to throw them in) Enjoy!
"Earth Rick C-137! The council of Ricks sentences you to the Machine of Unspeakable Doom, which swaps your conscious and unconscious minds, rendering your fantasies pointless while everything you've known becomes impossible to grasp! Also, every ten seconds, it stabs your balls."
— Council of Ricks Spokesperson, Rick and Morty
Judge Langston: However, knowing the defendant as we do, I've decided to grant him some leniency.
Fergy: Finally, some good news.
Judge Langston: I sentence you to be catapulted to the moon!
Fergy: WHAT?!
— Viva Piñata, "Candibalism"
