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Quotes / Consummate Liar

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Golden words he will pour in your ear
But his lies can't disguise what you fear
Shirley Bassey, from the theme to Goldfinger

In thy foul throat thou liest.
Lady Anne, Richard III

Have I lied to you? I mean in this room?
GLaDOS, Portal

I lied. That's what I do.
Benjamin Linus, Lost

Deepthroat: I'm the liar. You're the killer.
Cigarette Smoking Man: Your lies have killed more in a day than I have in a lifetime.
The X-Files, "Musings of a Cigarette-Smoking Man"

Sicilians are great liars; the best in the world. I'm Sicilian. My father was the world heavy-weight champion of Sicilian liars. From growing up with him, I learned the pantomime. There are seventeen different things a guy can do when he lies to give himself away. A guy's got seventeen pantomimes. (A woman's got twenty, a guy's got seventeen, but...) If you know them, like you know your own face, they beat lie detectors all to hell.
Vincenzo Cocotti, True Romance

When dealing with a pathological liar, don't go looking for signs of a guilty conscience. True deceivers enjoy the lie. They know to look you dead in the eye and usually shed a few tears on demand. So if you want to know when they're lying, look for the little smile when deceiving a room full of people.
Michael Westen, Burn Notice ("Partners in Crime")

Zack: Is your name Walter Burke?
Walter Burke: No.
Polygraph Interrogator: [troubled] True.

I'm the most terrific liar you ever saw in your life. It's awful. If I'm on my way to the store to buy a magazine, even, and somebody asks me where I'm going, I'm liable to say I'm going to the opera. It's terrible.
Holden Caufield, The Catcher in the Rye

Toph: And stick to the truth. I'll be able to tell if you're lying.
Azula: Are you sure? I'm a pretty good liar. I am a four-hundred-foot tall purple platypus bear with pink horns and silver wings.
Toph: ...Okay, you're good. I admit it.
Avatar: The Last AirbenderThe Day of Black Sun Part 2: "The Eclipse"

One lie after another. You make it look easy.
Ryuk (to Light), Death Note

Tell me Light, from the moment you were born, has there actually been a point in your life where you've actually told the truth?
L to Light Yagami, Death Note

Dr. Julian Bashir: Out of all the stories you told me, which ones were true and which ones weren't?
Elim Garak: My dear Doctor, they're all true.
Dr. Julian Bashir: Even the lies?
Elim Garak: Especially the lies.

The truth is usually just an excuse for a lack of imagination.

(Julian has just told Garak the tale of "The Boy Who Cried Wolf")
Dr. Julian Bashir: But the point is, if you lie all the time, nobody's going to believe you, even when you're telling the truth.
Elim Garak: Are you sure that's the point, doctor?
Dr. Julian Bashir: Of course, what else could it be?
Elim Garak: That you should never tell the same lie twice...

Psycho Mantis: But it's all about the little details! I mean, you must spend every day pretending to act like you're falsely letting on that you aren't not unbetraying someone you don't not purport to allegedly work for but really do! How do you keep all this shit straight without having an aneurysm?
Revolver Ocelot: *shrugs* Practice.

Those who are foolish enough to believe that they might come to understand the motivations and plans of this most deceptive god must surely be deluded, for Tzeentch is the Father of Lies and Deception, the Master of Fortune and the Architect of Fate. Truth and lies spill from His consciousness like the incoming tide of a treacherous sea. Tzeentch cannot be trusted even to the degree that the other gods of Chaos can be - a sobering realization indeed, considering the fickle nature of His brother daemon-gods.

In my time, I have stayed ahead of Wiesenthal and pulled the wool over the eyes of Himmler himself. If I cannot fool one American public school teacher, I will pull my winding shroud around me and crawl down into my grave.

When you speak, everything is the truth. Your words never quaver, your vital signs remain normal, your facts seem consistent, and your eyes betray no deception whatsoever. No matter how outrageous your story might be, an objective observer will assume that at least you believe it's true.
—The Perfect Liar merit, Mage: The Ascension - Guide To The Technocracy

Thor: You're a talented liar, brother, always have been.
Loki: It's good to have you back.

Hayasaka lied as naturally as she breathed.

Nick gave a ghostly sigh at these inaccuracies and, though they were distortions, so was his irritation at them. I'll go into these invariably drawn-out sagas of misinformation as we come to them, but the thing to keep in mind is that Nick had a strange way with the truth. I don't just mean that he was a good liar, I mean that he had the ability to distort the truth in the same way that a black hole has the ability to distort time and space. It wasn't something he did, it was something he was. When you were in his presence, the truth had a way of not looking the way it was supposed to look.
The Golden Age Of Censorship, by Paul Hoffman

The Daemon lied with every breath. It could not help itself but to deceive and dismay, to riddle and ruin. The more we conversed, the closer I drew to one singular ineluctable fact: I would gain no wisdom here. The Daemon's mind was a labyrinth of deceptions. Truth was trammelled at the heard of that maze and far beyond my meagre reach.
—The Liber Malefic, Warhammer: Daemons of Chaos Army Book (8th edition)

She's an actress that would put movie stars to shame.
Cinder describing her mother, Brigit Stark, My Name Is Cinder

    real life 

A liar is always lavish of oaths.
Pierre Corneille

A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is still putting on its shoes.

The liar's punishment is, not in the least that he is not believed, but that he cannot believe anyone else.
George Bernard Shaw, The Quintessence of Ibsenism

An unexciting truth may be eclipsed by a thrilling falsehood.
Aldous Huxley, Brave New World Revisited

I caught Truman out in a dozen or so lies that everyone else preferred to believe. I can't think what labor of Hercules I thought I had undertaken, and certainly to no useful end, because the instant lie was Truman's art form, small but, paradoxically, authentic. One could watch the process. A famous name would be registered. The round pale fetus face would suddenly register a sort of tic, as if a switch had been thrown. 'Eleanor Roosevelt. Oh, I know her intimately!
Gore Vidal on Truman Capote, Palimpsest

Every word she writes in a lie, including 'and' and 'the.'
Mary McCarthy on, err... 'colleague' Lillian Hellman, The Dick Cavett Show

The amount of energy necessary to refute bullshit is an order of magnitude bigger than to produce it.
Alberto Brandolini, programmer

There is a serene quality in a great hypocrite that I greatly admire. I don't think it's possible to be a frenzied hypocrite. That wouldn't do at all. There's nearly always a sublime self-assurance to a good hypocrite, don't you think? Hypocrites are not prone to self-doubt. I always imagine that great hypocrites have no interior life at all; what you see is what they are. All good actors have a touch of the hypocrite. I think I was born to be a hypocrite, all exterior and hollow, but wanting to amuse. Hypocrites can be very generous, too, so long as the world is watching.
Tom Baker, Who On Earth Is Tom Baker?

'Something something something horrifically unfair government case against him and just like that, he becomes tech’s 'hacktivist hero.'
Kathy Sierra on hacktivist/neo-Nazi Andrew "weev" Auernheimer



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