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Quotes / Cable & Deadpool

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The Cat: But how do you plan to get it to Cable in time?
Deadpool: We got this whole don't ask, don't tell thing goin'... not that there's anything wrong with that. Bodyslide by two...
The Cat: Don't ask, don't tell—? ... Oh... Oh...

Deadpool: ... I really gotta go to the bathroom!
Irene Merryweather: Hold it in.
Deadpool: You've been saying that for the last two days!
Irene Merryweather: You'll be fine.
Deadpool: Excuse me, you're not inside my pants, are you? Don't speak for my bladder!
Irene Merryweather: I... never mind. Listen, Wade, we brought in a specialist.
Deadpool: Is he a urinary tract guy?

"You're not allowed to crush his hopes and dreams and force him to do what you want him to do unless you're his real parent! He needs someone who'll love him and teach him how to shoot a gun and only show him the good porn! Someone like me!"

"I didn't let you beat me, Wade. I mean, I shoved my sword through your chest! Truth is... You're that good. You've always been that good. Which won't even get you a cup of coffee until you figure out how to be a professional..."


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