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Quotes / Bullying a Dragon

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    Anime and Manga 

Scar: (solemnly) If you interfere, I will eliminate you as well.
Roy: Oh, is that right? (hands Riza his gun) You guys stay out of it.
Riza: Colonel Mustang! Sir!
Scar: "Colonel Mustang?" ...So this is the The Flame Alchemist. Volunteering yourself to receive judgement... this is truly an auspicious day!
Roy: So you know who I am, yet you STILL want to challenge me. Bad decision. (he then makes a small cloud of smoke, forgetting that his powers don't work while it's raining)

Careful what you poke with a stick: it just might bite your head off!

Rohan: It seems certain comments set you off such as "your hair is laughable", or "wasn't that pincushion on your head in fashion like, two decades ago?" or "maybe you think that hair looks cool, don't you?" How's that?
(Josuke stops his attack)
Rohan: I guess remarks like those really do set him off. I must admit it's hard to believe, but the files are always accurate. What a preposterous Achilles' Heel.
Josuke: What the hell...did you say?! HUH?! I dare you to insult my hair again!
Rohan: If you insist. Fine, here goes: you might think your hair looks cool, but in actuality, it may be the shittiest hairstyle I've ever had the misfortune of laying eyes upon! Though to be fair, that nest atop your useless noggin may come in handy should a pigeon come by and decide to roost, but that's a very strong "may". (pokes Josuke's hair)
(Josuke opens his eyes and attacks with Crazy Diamond; Rohan proceeds to show Josuke his manga)
(Crazy Diamond, now Blinded by Rage, punches through the manga and beats up Rohan, breaking Heaven's Door's effect)

    Comic Books 

Doc Samson: The Hulk keeps yelling at you to leave him alone. So my advice is to leave Hulk alone. Watch him by satellite. If he gets near a populated area, send out Hulk alerts the way we send out weather alerts.
General Ross: And if America's enemies get hold of him?
Samson: Send condolence cards to America's enemies.

Rebel: So whattaya say we just finish this off with one final dance?
Supergirl: Don't you get it, Rebel? You're not important! You never were! You were just - something to do! Something for Supergirl and me to bounce off of for a while until people and events of real consequence came along! Look - Here's the problem. You've done some bad things, but I'm really, really upset right now. So much so that, honestly, I don't trust myself. And if you attack me or I attack you... I will hurt you. I'll hurt you worse than you've ever been hurt in your whole life. I can carve you up as soon as look at you. I can break you, boil you, freeze you. I can do things you can't imagine. Things I can't imagine, until I have to. And then I'll improvise. Part of me is hoping you will attack. And part of me is praying - for your sake, and my own peace of mind - that you don't. It's up to you.

Moonstone: You're defensive, Hercules. Not as confident as you'd like to be?
Hawkeye: Don't goad him, Moonstone! For Pete's sake, he's a Greek God!

Go on. I want to see if you're stupid enough to say this out loud.

I may never understand why every bunch of cheap, grimy thugs with no thought and even less chance of success continues to waste my time with petty, ambitious greed!

None of you seem to understand. I'm not locked up in here with you. You're locked up in here with ME.
Rorschach, after throwing a deep fryer in an inmate's face for trying to shank him, Watchmen

Biker: Here it comes, S-Man! Let's see how much snappy patter you're poutin' after I give you both barrels!
Superboy shrugs an energy beam off
Superboy: You know, you shouldn't knock "snappy patter"! It's a handy way for someone like me to keep up a sunny disposition when I have to take time out of a busy day to deal with someone like you! Know what I mean?
Biker: I—I don't believe it— Not even a smudge! You just ain't human!


    Fan Works 

Gohan: My daddy's not gonna let you get away with this!
Ginger: Big (bleep)ing whoop, we beat Piccolo, and that guy's strong as shit!
Gohan: Yeah? So did my dad!
Ginger: By himself?!
Gohan: Yeah!
Garlic Jr.: ...Oh god, your father's Goku. Oh my GOD, you morons stole Goku's kid?! How?! How did you steal Goku's kid?!
Cinnamon: Well, first we beat up his wife...
Garlic: Oh my shit.
Dragon Ball Z Abridged, Dead Zone Abridged

Scarlet: AH-HAHAHAHAHAHA! There's nowhere left for you to run! Now, be a good girl and come take the punishment you deserve! AH-HAHAHAHA-
Tifa: (starts chuckling)
Scarlet: Why are you laughing?! Stop laughing! I AM THE ONLY ONE WHO LAUGHS!!
Tifa: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, it's just- (snerk) It's funny that you think that's what's gonna happen.
Scarlet: Yes, that's exactly what-
Tifa: (still smiling) No, shut the f*ck up, this is what's going down - I'm going to beat the f*ck out you so badly, that your face will be my new bowl I eat my Tankceratops cereal out of. And yes, your blood will be the milk. But, since I'm such a good girl, I can let you off with that warning... if you tell me where Cloud is.
Scarlet: H-HOW DARE YOU?! (slaps Tifa) I will not be spoken down to by filthy, slum, gutter trash! You are in the presence of the baron-
Tifa: (uppercuts her and sends into the water below) Bow down, bitch.

But he had the beaker the antidote had been in in his hand, and he was waving it around in front of Superboy. Just kinda to tease him. Superboy just sucked in with what was left of his super-breath, and busted the thing all over his mouth and got the last drops of it. He got up, shoved Lex back, grabbed the meteor and went outside with it. Lex looked out his window and saw him haul off and throw that thing. It had to have weighed over a hundred pounds. And it didn't come down. That's when Lex really started to realize what he'd been tangling with, because it didn't come down.

Carrie as you'll soon find out, warns us of the danger of underestimation, of messing with the wrong person and not treating everyone with the respect they fully deserve. While this may be tempting for some, it will be an insult to the one you abuse, and may end in your untimely death.

Remember, it's important to be nice to the lady that can destroy star systems.
Arthur B. Wilson, Thinking In Little Green Boxes

Please. Mitch Mitchelston had it coming. He was a bastard who thought he could pick on outcasts with deformities. He was a dumb ass who thought he could spend the rest of his days poking a bear, and foolishly expecting to never be mauled. Mitch Mitchelston — what a fucking idiot.
Buttercupp, Villain, Chapter 2

That was the biggest bummer Mark Mardon had seen in all his days, outside of those trips to the joint. Who was going to take up where Flash left off?
Boomerang and Mirror Master had tried their luck with Batman. He'd warned them against it. Did they listen? Hell, no! They got their butts handed to them, Boomy more than once. Served 'em right.

    Film - Animated 

You let one ant stand up to us, then they all might stand up. Those "puny little ants" outnumber us 100 to 1. And if they ever figure that out, there goes our way of life! It's not about food, it's about keeping those ants in line.

We are being framed! Someone's actually trying to frame the Justice League! Who would have the balls?

Guess nobody told you: If you mess with the wolf, you get the fangs.
Wolf Boss, Kung Fu Panda 2

Scabies: Look who thinks he is the Ebola virus.
Thrax: Ebola? Let me tell you something about Ebola, baby. Ebola is a case of DANDRUFF compared to me!

Batman: One hellspore can turn an entire planet into a firepit; what will happen to Apokolips when 500 go off, simultaneously?
Darkseid: You dare! YOU DARE!? (Throws Batman into a column) I could destroy you with a single blast of my Omega Beams.
Batman: You could, but that wouldn't stop the hellspores, would it? (Darkseid throws Batman into a wall)

    Film - Live-Action 

Loki: What have I to fear?
Tony: The Avengers. It's what we call ourselves; sort of like a team. "Earth's Mightiest Heroes"-type thing.
Loki: (smirking) Yes. I've met them.
Tony: Yeah. Takes us a while to get any traction, I'll give you that one. But... let's do a headcount here: your brother, the demi-god; the super-soldier, a living legend who kinda lives up to the legend; a man with breathtaking anger management issues; couple of master assassins — and you, big fella, you've managed to piss off every single one of them.
Loki: That was the plan.
Tony: Not a great plan.

Loki: Enough! You are, all of you, beneath me! I am a god, you dull creature, and I will not be bullied b-
The Incredible Hulk: (grabs Loki by the legs for some Metronomic Man Mashing) Puny god.

Let Me Get This Straight.... You think that your client, one of the wealthiest, most powerful men in the world, is secretly a vigilante who spends his nights beating criminals to a pulp with his bare hands, and your plan is to blackmail this person? Good luck.
Lucius Fox, The Dark Knight

John Daggett: (to his departing henchman) No, you stay here! I'm in charge here!
Bane: (puts his hand on Daggett's shoulder) Do you feel in charge?

You have strucked Hercules.

Viggo: It's not what you did that angers me so... it's who you did it to.
Iosef: Who? The fuckin' nobody?
Viggo: That "fuckin' nobody"... is John Wick.

You stabbed the Devil in the back. You incinerated the priests' temple... Now he's free of the Marker... What do you think he'll do?

Balthazar: I will not lead my people to their deaths in a battle that cannot be won.
Takmet: (walking forward with a goblet in hand) And what people would that be, Balthazar? You are the ruler of nothing... but a pile of rocks and sand.
(Balthazar grabs Takmet's hand and squeezes it so hard the goblet audibly crushes, forcing Takmet to his knees in pain)
Balthazar: If I'm no king... why are you on your knees before me?

You watch those nature documentaries on the cable? You see the one about lions? You got this lion. He's the king of the jungle, huge mane out to here. He's laying under a tree, in the middle of Africa. He's so big, it's so hot. He doesn't want to move. Now the little lions come, they start messing with him. Biting his tail, biting his ears. He doesn't do anything. The lioness, she starts messing with him. Coming over, making trouble. Still nothing. Now the other animals, they notice this. They start to move in. The jackals; hyenas. They're barking at him, laughing at him. They nip his toes, and eat the food that's in his domain. They do this, then they get closer and closer, bolder and bolder. Till one day, that lion gets up and tears the shit out of everybody. Runs like the wind, eats everything in his path. Cause every once in a while, the lion has to show the jackals, who he is.


Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy, and good with ketchup.

Slughorn: I might have been in hiding, but some funny rumors have reached me since Dolores Umbridge left! If that's how you treat teachers these days-
Dumbledore: Professor Umbridge ran afoul of our centaur herd. I think you, Horace, would have known better than to stride into the forest and call a horde of angry centaurs "filthy half-breeds."
Slughorn: That's what she did, did she? Idiotic woman. Never liked her.

Never laugh at live dragons, Bilbo you fool!
Bilbo Baggins, The Hobbit

Stop teasing the supervillain! ... I can't believe I even have to tell you that.

    Live-Action TV 

Delenn: This is Ambassador Delenn of the Minbari. Babylon 5 is under our protection. Withdraw or be destroyed.
Drake: Negative. We have authority here. Do not force us to engage your ship.
Delenn: Why not? Only one human captain has ever survived battle with a Minbari fleet. He is behind me; you are in front of me. If you value your lives, be somewhere else.
Babylon 5, "Severed Dreams"

Now, to put that in hacker terms, Anonymous is a hornets' nest, and Barr said, "I'm going to stick my penis in that thing." Because, faster than you could say "Get these hornets off my penis!" Anonymous took down Barr's website, stole his emails, deleted the company's backup data, trashed his twitter account and remotely wiped his iPad.
Stephen Colbert, The Colbert Report

Madame Kovarian: So, what have you heard?
Dorium Maldovar: That you pricked the side of a mighty beast, Madame Kovarian, and entirely failed to run.
Doctor Who, "A Good Man Goes To War"

Tywin: What would it take to make the common soldier stupid enough to try his luck with The Hound?
Varys: Ten silver stags maybe.
Tywin: Make it a hundred.

Vladimir has 10,000 tanks and you have three. Why would you start a war? Discuss.
David Mitchell, Mock the Week, "Questions That Were Rejected From [2008's] Exams"

But here's the thing about messing with people who can fly when you can't... They choose how you land.

Worf: Captain... they're now locking lasers on us.
Riker: Lasers?
Worf: Yes, sir.
Picard: Lasers can't even penetrate our navigation shields, don't they know that?
Riker: Regulations do call for yellow alert.
Picard: Hmm... very old regulation. Well, make it so, number one. And reduce speed. Drop main shields as well.
Riker: May I ask why, sir?



There's just no limits to the boundaries you push
I warned you but still you just fuck with my mind,
There's no escape from this rage that I feel,
Nothing is real

No you can't renege
I love to see you beg
Dream this moment as you run away
You will only separate me from
All I believe this moment
In brutality
You're the one who kept on pushing
Till I made you bleed

It is always quite foolhardy
For a young and ill-trained party
To gather at a tavern and to say
"We have had it with our teachers.
Let's go off and kill some creatures,
And find a ton of gold to haul away."

And that is called bashing the balrog
And the people who long to attack
Think, once they have bashed on the balrog,
The balrog will not bash them back

It is equally foolhardy for that armed and eager party
To win one lucky battle and feel sure,
"We have polished off a goblin,
But he left our fighter hobblin'.
Perhaps this magic potion is the cure."

And that can make bashing the balrog
Too much for the cleric and elf,
Who find, when they're facing the balrog,
That their fighter is not quite himself.

It is even more foolhardy for the changed and weakened party
To stare back at the balrog and to say
"We can zap and we can bite you.
We are quite prepared to fight you.
We suggest you turn around and fly away."

And that's called insulting the balrog,
For balrogs aren't easy to bluff.
They know, with a competent balrog,
No army is half strong enough.

And it's just a bit too tardy when a member of the party
Succeeds at his IQ roll and exclaims
"Try a Light spell or Entangle
While I get a better angle,
For I think I know a way to douse his flames."

And that is called fleeing the balrog,
And those who are wiser agree:
While comrades are bashing the balrog,
It's safest to go climb a tree.

It is almost as foolhardy for the others in the party
To bravely join the fray with spell and sword.
It has no chance of destroying.
At the worst you'll be annoying,
And at best you'll keep the foe from being bored.

And that is called bashing the balrog.
But should any witness survive,
He'll see, once you've bashed on the balrog,
The balrog will skin you alive.

So no matter just how hardy be the fools within your party,
And no matter just how lucrative your aim,
If it ever is suggested
You can get by unmolested,
You should rise and pound the table and exclaim,

"We never can win against balrogs,
However the dice might be tossed.
For the rules of this game are obscure and arcane,
And the party that plays it is lost!"
Leslie Fish, "Bashing the Balrog"

    Newspaper Comics 

Huey: People say the brawl at the basketball game teaches kids a bad lesson. I disagree! I think Ron Artest taught a lot of kids a valuable lesson that day. Don't talk trash and throw things at an agitated black man, or stand near anyone who does, or a wholesale a** whuppin' may descend upon you like a Florida hurricane.
Caesar: I wonder why they don't teach that in school?


Ed Gruberman: Listen, shrimp! Now are you gonna show me some fancy moves, or am I gonna start wipin' the walls with you?
Martial Arts Master: Ed Gruberman, you fail to grasp Tae Kwon Leap. Approach me that you might see.
Ed Gruberman: All right! Finally some action!
Martial Arts Master: Observe closely, class. Boot to the Head! (WHUMP!)
Ed Gruberman: Owww! You booted me in the head!

    Tabletop Games 

Never taunt an embermage, "What are you going to do about it?"
Akin, seasoned askari, Magic: The Gathering, "Incinerate"

    Video Games 

Do you really think it's wise to play dead with someone who can make you dead?

In four years, I have made no threat — and fanatics have lined up to hate us simply because we exist.
The Arishok, Dragon Age II

Why they insist on thinking they can kill people like you and the Warden, I will never guess.
Zevran to Hawke, Dragon Age II

And people voluntarily attack you? Are they mad?
Sergeant Kylon, Dragon Age: Origins

District Attorney: Do you know who you're fucking with here?! I'll have your badge, you moron!
Cop 1: Shut up. You found anything back there?
Cop 2: "Found anything?" He's got half of Mexico in here! Must be two tons of Mary here!
D.A.: What? But... but I've never seen... how could it have...?
Cop 1: Eloquent defense you got there, buddy! (slams D.A.'s head into the windshield)

Anyone who fights us is either stupid or on Saren's payroll. Killing the latter is business. Killing the former is a favor to the universe.
Urdnot Wrex, Mass Effect

You really think you can kill the leader of the Saints?
Richie, Saints Row 2

Jung is as deadly as it gets. Don't believe me? I'm going to tell you a bedtime story.
Imagine you're a goon from the Fear Nothing Foundation. The bosses told you to pick up the big-headed freak kid. Piece of cake. You strut up, towering over the little one sitting on the seesaw (and really, is there anything lonelier than one person sitting on a seesaw?). You kind of enjoy the imbalance of power. You grin. The boy looks up at you with a face a kindergartener should not be able to make. You feel undead moths flutter inside you. You feel transparent. Naked. The stomach dropping sensation that someone knows that secret about you, the one you prayed no one would ever find out, the one that you try to forget, because it shatters the self-image you have of yourself.
"Please, sir, would you do me the kindness of forgetting how to breathe?"
Daimon Kiyota, The Secret World

Why men throw their lives away attacking an armed witcher... I'll never know. Something wrong with my face?
Geralt of Rivia, The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt, Blood and Wine expansion

Mess with the bull, you get the horns.

He had a baseball bat, and I was tied to a chair. Pissing him off was the smart thing to do.
Max Payne, on Frankie Niagara


    Web Animation 

You there! You may be a hulking mass of muscle, armed to the teeth, and an unparalleled killing machine, but I think I can take you in a tavern fight!
Mook, Terrible Writing Advice, "Anti-Heroes"

Is this a prank, a death wish, or both?
Corvus Corax If the Emperor Had a Text-to-Speech Device, "Bro Trip 40,000: Jopallian Japes"


Dang: WAIT A SECOND! What kind of equipment do they have?
Steele: Studded leather armor, shortswords, and bows.
Dang: And they are willing to attack what must appear to them to be a group of flying, flaming weaponmasters?
Jill: They're bandits, not brain surgeons!

Superman: Bruce was only playing with [Connor]. He always did that to me when we were kids. Tying explosives to my cape... always reminding me that I'm not human... sticking Kryptonite in my locker after painting it with lead... calling me a naive Farm Boy who had his head under too many cows' behinds to know any better... He's such a kidder.
Lois Lane: Clark, you're in denial.
Superman: It keeps me from killing him, Lois.

Nick: Are you pickin' a fight wif' me?
Narrator: Anyone with half a brain would know that this question, asked in this tone of voice, by a man of this size, has exactly one correct answer.
Enireth Frat Boy G: Yes I am. What are you going to do about it?
Narrator: That was not it.

It's still not worth billions of lives just to kill her, but she really knows how to jump up and down on that scale.

Arthur: (to a cat that is stuck in a tree) Well, lookee here! A big, dumb cat - stuck in a tree! Hey, dumb cat! How big a doofus are you, getting stuck in a tree?
(the cat jumps out of the tree and attacks a horrified Arthur)
Arthur: (now very beaten-up) Apparently not as big a doofus as I am.
Sheldon: Apparently.

Punchline: (chained to a wall) You're going to try to convince one of the strongest heroes in this galaxy it's okay to take life... by killing his girlfriend... while you're standing like ten feet away from him.
Anarch: Whoa! Who says he'll kill me? He may feel enlightened, maybe thank me and join my side.
Punchline: Right. Which of these is he more likely to say? (holds up a Cosmic Crusader puppet on his right foot) "My one true love is dead. All good and hope is folly! I will now aid her killer in world conquest" or (holds up a Cosmic Crusader puppet on his left foot) "Well, fuck. Y'know, I always wanted to see if I could pull a nervous system outta someone without tearing it. And look! A volunteer!"

    Web Original 

Telling a lion-man of the Full Moon to "yiff in hell" is almost always a horrible idea as he can rip you and thousands like you to pieces without even trying. Yet it is still totally Worth It.
1d4chan on the Lunar Exalted

We then cut to classic Super Hero cliche #37: our hero's status as an ass-kicker is established via rescuing a woman either being robbed or raped. A corollary of that cliche is the absolute moron who thinks he can take on a guy who looks like this.
Linkara in his Atop the Fourth Wall review of Spawn #1

I have never understood the sheer idiocy that's exemplified in these kind of characters! You see a guy wearing leather, flames shooting out of him, and wielding magical chain weapons, why is your first instinct "Yeah, I can take him." I feel like there should be a Darwin Award strictly for people this stupid in fictional stories!
Linkara again, this time complaining about the use of this trope in All-New Ghost Rider

Why would you call someone that size a name? He's a giant and he has a weapon. He looks like he would wear your skin as a trophy, and that's what he does!

I always wondered how long real-world persecution of mutants would last.
"We had ourselves a lynching party last night for that mutant SOB!"
"How'd it go?"
"Well, we lost about seven people, and the mutant survived. But we think it’ll go better next time!"
John Seavey,

The closest thing we get to any normal kind of reaction is when the jockey character tells Scott to stick with his own kind, peharps a commentary on racism, and everyone laugh him out of the dance. But the only thing that stuck in my mind during this whole scene is that this dude is angatonizing a friggin' werewolf! He rips his shirt open with his deadly claws! Did he not stop to think that starting a fight with a mythological monster was a bad idea?

For the first time in his career it looked like Fedor wanted something dead. Poor Tsuyoshi Kohsaka could only look on in horror while the world's greatest fighter experienced rage for the first time and redefined the ways a human body could express it. Almost immediately, Fedor threw TK into the ground and rezoned his head for strip mining. He punched and punched and only stopped to stand up and stomp a hole into his face. The ref took this opportunity to pause the fight and let the doctors glue together the remaining scraps of Tsuyoshi's skull. After some debate on the sensibility of it, they soon restarted the fight. "Heh," said a shadowy man now standing in TK's corner with a wheat scythe.

There are some flaws in this movie.... Not to mention so very stupid lapses in the scriptwriting. Take for example a scene where Kara lands on Earth and two white crackers immediately try to rape her. She is dressed in her Supergirl outfit and is clearly using her powers. The white crackers simply dismiss this though and say "Heh, this girl has fight in her hyuck hyuck." I'll say! She's Supergirl! You are trying to rape Supergirl. Are your inbred synapses so slow to fire you can’t figure that out, you brain-dead hillbillies!?

Hey, you know that guy who just killed a dragon and ate its soul? Let's mug him.

    Western Animation 

Strike me again, and I will bury that rod in your spark.
Predaking, Transformers: Prime

Scrapper: We built your maze! Now, you keep your part of the bargain!
Scrapper: Constructicons, transform into Devastator!
(the Constructicons combine and proceed to beat Blitzwing up)

    Real Life 

Scout, she can swallow you whole. Be nice.
The Dro, warning Scout the fennec fox to not harass Luna the wolf dog in this video

But, as it is, we have the wolf by the ear, and we can neither hold him, nor safely let him go.
Thomas Jefferson to John Holmes, discussing slavery and the Missouri question at home in Monticello, 22 April 1820


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