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Quotes / Bring My Brown Pants

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"This guy had the right idea! He wore the brown pants!"
Deadpool, Deadpool (2016)

"Fetch me old brown trousers
Bring them to me now
I'll wear them in the rigging when they fire across the bow
Fetch me old brown trousers
I fear we may be hit
Even if they sink me down they'll never see me sh--
Heave Ho!"
— "The Ballad of Old Redcoat", The Pyrates Royale

The accountant had about a second in which to turn pale and wet himself before Kurt ripped his head off.
The Pilo Family Circus, Chapter 23.

"McMahon 3:16 says 'I just pissed my pants!'"

"We fear you exceedingly, even to the relaxation of sphincters!" they chorused.
In the Courts of the Crimson Kings by S. M. Stirling.

"Am I glad I remembered to pack my parachute today... Although, some spare pants would have been handy, too."
Chase McCain, LEGO City Undercover

"God, I think I just SHITTED ON MYSELF!"

Ace: Hi! I'm looking for Ray Finkle.
(Ray's father points a gun at him)
Ace: And a clean pair of shorts.

"Is there a good laundry in this town?"
Peter Yates, Murders in the Zoo

Scowler: Remember, they can smell fear!
Patchi: Sorry, that's not fear.
Juniper: (Steps in something) I think I just stepped in some fear!
Walking with Dinosaurs: The Movie

Maester Tybald: The rules of my order forbid me to divulge the contents of Lord Arnolf's letters.
Stannis Baratheon: Your vows are stronger than your bladder, it would seem.

*Vanessa and Austin are being lowered into a pool of man-eating mutant sea bass*
Vanessa: What's your plan?
Austin: First, I plan to soil myself. Then I'm going to regroup and come up with another plan.

"After that image, I believe that Jay probably contributed a few of his own bricks to that collection he was hiding behind."

"Okay, uh, boys, set the terror level at Code Brown, 'cause I need to change my pants."

"Get my brown pants!"
Colin Mochrie addressing the topic of "Confusing Battle Cries" on Whose Line Is It Anyway?

"So this book wants to teach me how to kill a hijacker? I'm crammed into a tube with 200 people too fat for their seats and scared of toothpaste! If some guy pulls a knife on us, there's going to be so much panicked incontinence on the floor that I'll need a jet ski to get to him."

"Wet yourselves and RUN!"

"I am currently wetting my pants."
Shiro Shinobi provides commentary even as an Equalist invades his booth, The Legend of Korra

"I'm preparing for the worst. The very worst. This may require absorbent linens."
Viscount Dumar, Dragon Age II

"No, it's not an emergency, it's just time to… empty your bowels."
Jeremy Clarkson, Top Gear

Jeremy Clarkson, Top Gear

"I really should've gone to the privy *before* coming in here..."
Isabela on the Haunted House level, Dragon Age II

Cat: Forget red alert, let's go all the way to brown alert!
Kryten: There's no such thing as brown alert.
Cat: You won't be saying that in a minute, and don't say I didn't alert you!

Rimmer: Look, we all know you're programmed not to harm humans, so you can drop the tough-talk, you big square-jawed chump.
(The robot's Robo Cam scans Rimmer (a hologram), Cat (felix sapiens) and Lister ("Barely human - what the hell!"))
Hudson-10: You are all... viable... targets.
Rimmer: (gulps) Well, it's been a few years since I did that.

"Gentlemen, the crap has literally been scared out of me."
Dale Gribble, King of the Hill

Linkara, Nash, and Film Brain during their review of the infamous 2011 Wonder Woman pilot.

Well, there you have it. Slender! Totally wasn't scared! But it seems as if someone poured urine on my pants and shoved mashed potatoes down the back of my pants...

Bowles was a tough man. He'd faced the nastiest horrors in his piece of shithole Yellow Zone without blinking. Yet, the sudden horrified realization that hit him at that moment made the corporal void himself, which only marginally worsened the stink in the blood-soaked fighting hole.

Master Computer: "I see The Federation has issued new uniforms."
Ensign Newbie: "Star Command says it's my lucky Red Shirt!"
Computer: "I see they've also given you brown pants to go with that red shirt."
Ensign: "Huh?"
Computer: "Just gratuitous foreshadowing..."
Alien Adventure by John Freda.

"I just did something involuntary...and messy."

She has collapsed to the ground, still clutching the wound on her arm, but now she is tainted with the harsh ammonia smell of urine and the unpleasant stench of tears mixing with mucus as she cries in terror.

"Been a while since I had a good hunt! That tingling sensation running up your spine? Inevitability. And that bit running down your leg? Fear."
Lucifer Morningstar, Lucifer (2016)

Rip: What's that smell?
Limo driver: D-d-dookieee!
Rip: ...dookie?

*gulp* (Maybe I should've brought a diaper with me today...)
Phoenix Wright, Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney - Trials & Tribulations

Oh, it's a good thing I just went...

"The task of an officer of the Habsburgs" (they used to tell us at the Marine Akademie) "is to lead his men forward fearlessly and resolutely to win ever greater victories for the Noble House of Austria: yes, even though he should have filled his trousers with fright just a moment before."
A Sailor of Austria by John Biggins

Somebody peed my pants. But I don't know if it was baby me or old me. Or... just me me.

Nick Fury: (watching Bruce Banner turn into Hulk) I hope you know what you're doing here, Captain, because all I'm doing is messing a decent pair of army pants, man...

Ephraim Swan: I can abide a man who gets run off by a posse. I can even abide a man who gets himself shot up by Frank Morgan. But I can't abide a man who'd piss himself in the middle of a fight.
—Western novel The Last Gunfighter: No Man's Land

Aerion Greyjoy: I wonder what Harren Hoare thought when all he built turned to fire....
Tyrion Lannister: I imagine it was something like "Oh, I do hope that I just spilled some wine in my lap."

"Brown loincloth time!"
Buga the Knut, Conker's Bad Fur Day

"Amnesia isn't a perfect game, but it's almost unmatched as a constipation aid."
Yahtzee, Zero Punctuation

"Glad I'm wearing a diaper."

Sameer: "Extra undies, check."
Laird: "And I'm wearing diapers."
The Casagrandes, "Fails from the Crypt"

"I'm gonna need more bubble wrap. And a fresh pair of undies."
Lola Loud, The Loud House, "April Fools Rules"

Theresa: Whoa! What is that?!
Neil: That's the reason my mother tells me to carry a change of underwear!

Johnny Cage: Grandma Carlton told you my secret?
Cassie Cage: Johnny Pee-Pants?
Johnny: I had one accident. One!