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Quotes / Brick Joke

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"I gotta be honest. I was hoping this whole Chaos thing was going to turn out to be like a metaphor."
Red Mage, 8-Bit Theater

Danny: Have you ever fired your gun up in the air and gone "Aaaagh"?
Nick: No, I have not ever fired my gun up in the air and gone "Aaaagh"!
Danny: Have you ever fired two guns whilst jumping through the air?
Nick: No.
Danny: Have you ever fired one gun whilst jumping through the air?
Nick: No.
Danny: Have you ever been in a high-speed pursuit?
Nick: Yes, I have.
Danny: Have you ever fired your gun whilst in a high-speed pursuit?
Nick: No!
Hot Fuzz spoilers 

Yzma: Pull the lever, Kronk!
[Kronk pulls lever. Yzma drops through floor out of sight]
Yzma: [fading voice] Wrong lever!... [walking out of crocodile pit] Why do we even have that lever?
[almost an hour later]
Kuzco: [walking out of crocodile pit] Ok, why does she even have that lever?

Passenger 2: Now, should I give you the money or should I shove the quarters directly up your fat ass? Hee-hee!
Willie: Why you fucking hard-on! I'll fucking Carlton Fisk your fucking head with a Louisville, fucking slugger! What do you think of that, assfuck!?
[Minutes later]
Passenger 6: Yeah, do you want the money or should I just shove the quarters directly up your fat ass?
Willie: We-he-hell, I already heard that one, you fucking unoriginal bastard! Go suck a cock, you piece of fucking, repeating shit!

Norrington: You are, without a doubt, the worst pirate I have ever heard of.
Jack: But you have heard of me.
[after Jack steals a ship that needs a crew of fifty with two people, all while dodging an entire army]
Groves: ...that's got to be the best pirate I've ever heard of.
Norrington: [Death Glare]

Aquamarine: Let's see. Yellow Diamond asked for a Mydad, a Connie, a Lars, a Sadie, a Mailman, and an Onion-I-Think. Six human variations specified in a report by Peridot-5XG.
(Steven gasps in realization, triggering a flashback to when he met Peridot in "Marble Madness")
Steven: Oh no, there's lots of humans. There's my dad, Connie, Lars and Sadie, the mailman, Onion... I think.
(back in the present)
Steven: The list!
Steven Universe, "I Am My Mom"

That joke only took fifteen years to set up, I hope you all appreciate it!
—The authors of No Need for Bushido cheerfully lampshading this trope in their comic.

Rachel had a kind of dreamy look on her face. You'd have thought she was enjoying the show. Only I noticed the guy sitting next to her was trying to hold her hand. And that dreamy look was Rachel wondering which of the guy's fingers she should break.
I looked back at the show. It was a pretty good show.
I heard a stifled yelp of pain coming from four rows back and to the right.
That familiar "Circle of Life" song started up and Disney animals were cavorting and singing and the music was swelling and Marco's ears were going nuts and a wounded male voice was saying, "Jeez, you almost broke my finger!" and then it all stopped.
Animorphs #26: The Attack

Sully: Here, have some beers in Val Verde, Matrix. It'll give everyone a little more time with your daughter.
Matrix: You're a funny guy, Sully. I like you. That's why I'm going to kill you last.
Later, Matrix holds Sully over the edge of a cliff.
Matrix: Remember, Sully, when I promised to kill you last?
Sully: That's right, Matrix! You did!
Matrix: I lied.
Drops Sully and goes off to kill the rest of the villains.

Male Caller: Hey, ya ever ate possum? That's some good eating.
Lazlow: Nah, can't really say I have.
Male Caller: Hell, you oughta try it sometime. I tell you man, it's good eating. Possum, raccoons, even zebra meat. Cooks up pretty good.
Lazlow: Do you have anything else to say or...
Male Caller: Pigeons. Pigeons are good too. Sometimes, they come with notes attached. It's like a fortune cookie with wings.
Later (or earlier depending on when you tuned in)
Lazlow: Your organization is called "CRAP". What kind of moron are you? You want to round up people for using a phone, but you're calling up on a phone to tell the world about it! I mean how many people are there in this "CRAP"?
Female Caller: Citizens are raging against phones, Lazlow!
Lazlow: How many people?
Female Caller: There are three of us. It's hard organizing meetings without the phones though. We've had to resort to carrier pigeons and they keep disappearing.


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