Roman Sionis: Nobody that matters.
Joker: Tell me, my dear, have you ever had a really...bad...day?
Psychologist: And what do you mean by that?
Joker: You of all people should know. (laughs) There's nothing so cruel as memory. The pointy, bitey little thunderbolts. Unwanted party crashers, screamers through your synapses. Inescapable, unrelenting...not at all friendly. You can't even escape into madness! And then you meet someone who changes your life. And you feel that you don't even know who you are any more! Isn't it funny how one little encounter can cleave off little pieces of your past, deform your memories and persona until you rethink your whole identity — and as you realize how foolish it all is — your laughter reverberates off the walls of your own emptiness.
A brief Word Association Test later:
Joker: You want to know something funny? I used to think of fate as something evil — predetermined — not by some higher power but by the rules of human nature. But tonight, that's all changed.
Psychologist: What changed?
Joker: Have you ever had the feeling that your entire life has been building towards this one moment? (He walks down nightmarish corridors of Ace Chemicals as the Red Hood)
Psychologist: Is that how you feel?
Joker: (laughs) Well, now, yes. Now I realize that all the battles, the bad days, the brutalities - it was all the hand of Fate at work.
Psychologist: So...now you see fate differently?
Joker: (laughs) Absolutely. Now I understand. There are no chance encounters. It was all meant to be. Everything leading up to who I've met tonight!
Psychologist: So you've met someone special?
Joker: Yes. And you might say it's changed everything.
Joker: Absolutely. I mean, do you realize what a vile world we live in? How lonely it is to wade through all the wretch and filth on your own?
Psychologist: It is kind of lonely, isn't it?
Joker: Of course! Of course! You understand! Even in a crowd of other screwballs, you're so alone that you can kick, claw, yell, scream at the top of your lungs — and no one cares. It's like you don't even exist! I feel... Sometimes I feel like I'm trapped on this path leading nowhere, into just emptiness. But now...
Psychologist: Now you feel like you've got somebody by your side - to share the journey with you. (The Red Hood hesitates at the edge of the vat of acid that will transform him into the Joker) And how does that make you feel?
(Nightmare Batman pops out of nowhere and chucks the Red Hood in)
Joker: I feel adrift — floating — like someone's pulled the stopper on my reality and I'm sucked down the drain into something new. It's all very exciting really. (laughs) You wouldn't know what that feels like, I'm sure.
Psychologist: I...might, actually. Can you tell me more about how this person makes you feel?
(The Red Hood emerges from the drainage, and whisks the hood off, staring into a puddle and seeing the Joker.)
Joker: It's like meeting someone I can actually relate to — which believe me, dear, I've never felt before. (Batman bursts out of the puddle, and the psychiatrist giggles) You understand. You're someone who's not afraid to let go — and fall. (Flashback to Batman and the Joker's earlier freefall) Free falling. And I didn't pack a chute. (laughs) Do you know what I mean?
Psychologist: Yes. Yes, I do. (Batman and the Joker land safely, and a brief shootout occurs)
Joker: I figured you would.
Psychologist: So, may I ask...who is this person?
Joker: Someone very, very special, (i.e. Batman) but whose real name I don't even know yet! (Joker tries to shoot himself, but Batman punches him)
Psychologist: ...My name's Harleen. Harleen Quinzel.
Joker: What a pretty name. Do your friends call you Harley?
Harleen Quinzel: Oh, I don't have a lot of friends.
Joker: Well, Harley, you got one now...
Batman: You need to learn to shut up.
Joker: You know, it's sad, really. Makes me feel like you don't care to know the good side in me. I guess learning is a lot to ask from you, ''meat-for-brains''.
Batman disarms him of his handgun and kicks him across the room
Joker: Is all of this for you, or for me? You must know that I'm a lost cause. Oh but there's still hope for you! Ye-e-es... Oh I've got great hopes for you. So come on, don't stop now! What are you waiting for?
Batman throws him against a wall
Joker: You just can't get it through your thick skull. We both exist because of them!
Batman: What are you-
Alfred: I will not in good conscience allow you to go! You're out-matched by these assassins-
Batman: I'm what?
Alfred: You're not some hardened vigilante! You're a Young man with a trust fund and too much anger. You're in over your head and I...I don't want this to be your end.
Batman: Alfred, who do you see when you look at me? The boy whose shoes you used to tie every morning, the teenager you drove to his first date? While you are here every night, I am out there... the only thing between the innocent and the predatory.
Alfred: You may be.
Batman: Not "may be"! I am! When the mugger or the thief stops to think twice-that is fear. That is what I am! That is why they hired assassins-because I am the reason the criminals breathe easier when the sun rises. So no, Alfred - I am NOT in over my head! Tonight won't be my end. But it will be theirs!
Batman: I'm not looking for peace.
[Batman knocks him out]
Batman: Gordon. Got one for the Arkham ward. May want to bring a muzzle. He's a biter...