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Quotes / Barred from the Afterlife

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I caught a glimpse of heaven once. The Angels showed me. The idea was I'd kill for them. Clean up their mistakes on Earth. Eventually redeem myself.
Tried it. Didn't like it. Told them where to stick it. So they brought me up to heaven, to see what I'd be missing. A wife. A son. A daughter. I hadn't seen them since they bled out in my arms. Then I was cast down.
Back to a world of killers. Rapists. Psychos. Perverts. A brand new evil every minute, spewed out as fast as men can think them up. A world where pitching a criminal dwarf off a skyscrapper to tell his fellow scum you're back is a sane and rational act. The angels thought it would be hell for me.
[Said dwarf hits the ground with a splat] But they were wrong.

Korin: Those people were attacked by Piccolo must spend eternity all alone and will never be able to rest in peace.
Goku: Huh?
Korin: It's true. There's no way for them to go the Other World because their lifeless bodies float in limbo. The poor souls will be lost forever unless they're revived by the Dragon Balls!

Marco: Looks like I'm not ready to cross to the other side yet.
The Grim Reaper: Fool! Do you realize what you're trying to do? 28 fractured bones, 43 internal wounds. Your organs will never heal properly. Your body is completely destroyed. Returning now just means suffering the pain of death once again. If things go wrong, you won't even make it back to your body. Then your soul will be trapped between realms forever.
Marco: Like I give a shit!

Angel: Now sir, you should have known when you swore the oath that it would follow you into the afterlife.
Eugene Greenhilt: Yeah, but I didn't know it would actually keep me OUT of the afterlife.
The Order of the Stick: Start of Darkness

Heaven Don't Want Me And Hell's Afraid I'll Take Over
— Common Fun T-Shirt saying

"Everyone has come to their end, my friend. I don't know quite how this has happened but this time humanity has overdone it. There's now no more heaven and no more hell. There isn't purgatory either. After the soul flies out from the body - I hope you at least believe in the immortal soul? Well, it has no refuge anymore. How many megatons and bevatons does it take to disperse the noosphere? It was as real as this kettle. And whatever you say, we weren't sparing of ourselves. We destroyed both heaven and hell. We now happen to live in this strange world, in a world where after death the soul must remain right where it is."
—- Khan, Metro 2033


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