And now, O Kings, be ye wise. Be admonished, ye judges of the earth! Serve the LORD with fear, and rejoice with trembling! Kiss the Son, lest he be angry, and ye perish in the way, though his wrath be swiftly kindled. Amen.
—Father Alexander Anderson, Hellsing
Father O'Mally-O'Connel-O'Carrol-O'Reilly-O'Brian-O'Sullivan:note Tell me, Father Anderson. What is your favorite thing to do?
Anderson: Spreading the love and the good word of the Lord Jesus Christ to all the many peoples of the world!
Father O'Mally-O'Connel-O'Carrol-O'Reilly-O'Brian-O'Sullivan:note And what about killing vampires?
Anderson: Oh, just try to fuckin' stop me!
Anderson: Spreading the love and the good word of the Lord Jesus Christ to all the many peoples of the world!
Father O'Mally-O'Connel-O'Carrol-O'Reilly-O'Brian-O'Sullivan:note And what about killing vampires?
Anderson: Oh, just try to fuckin' stop me!
You mess with God, you mess with me! (fires six shotgun blasts into the villain's face) I will not tolerate you messin' with me!''
— Preacher Man Bob, Buttcrack
The Lord commands me to turn the other cheek, Amen... but I only have two cheeks.
— Evangelist Pete Spackman
Praise the Lord and pass the ammo!
— Attributed to chaplain at Pearl Harbor, December 7, 1941
Let me preach His name!
— Imperial Guard priest, Dawn of War
Seth Gekko: So what are you: a faithless preacher, or a mean motherfuckin' servant of God?
Jacob Fuller: I'm a mean... mmm hmm... servant of God.
Jacob Fuller: I'm a mean... mmm hmm... servant of God.
A shepherd must tend to his flock, especially when they have grown... unruly.
— Father Grigori, Half-Life 2
Lava quod est sordium! In nomine Dei, sana quod est saucium! (Cleanse that which is unclean! In the name of God, heal that which is hurt!)
Zoë: Preacher, don't the Bible have some pretty specific things to say about killin'?
Book: Quite specific. It is, however, somewhat fuzzier on the subject of kneecaps.
— Firefly
God has mercy. I don't.
—The Priest, Machete
In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost, I'll fuckin' do you!" *headbutt*
—Adam Hills
as the Archbishop of Glasgow
as the Archbishop of GlasgowOur religious fella Reverend Ray is like Lee Marvin got Brokeback Mountain with Clint Eastwood, somehow managed to get him pregnant and gave birth to the hardest son of a bitch who ever walked the Earth. Who then became a preacher to repent for being the hardest son of a bitch who ever walked the Earth. And then decided, actually, God wanted him to use being the hardest son of a bitch who ever walked the Earth for a Higher Purpose.
—Description of Reverend Ray from the Eurogamer review of Call of Juarez
of Call of JuarezThis is it! This is what I've been prayin' for! I'm weary of this gilded world! All glitter! no soul!
—Nathan Copeland, No More Heroes 2: Desperate Struggle
It's Super Pope!
— Crow T. Robot, Mystery Science Theater 3000, "Future War"
I kick arse for The Lord!
— Father McGruder, BrainDead
The grace of God knows no bounds, but my mercy has some practical limitations.
"It is one thing to forgive a slap across my cheek, but an insult to the Lord requires... no, it demands correction."
— Joshua Graham, Fallout: New Vegas
"I do not enjoy killing, but when done righteously, it is just a chore, like any other. Practiced hands make for short work, and the Good Lord knows there is much to be done here."
— Joshua Graham, Fallout: New Vegas
"I survived because the fire inside burned brighter than the fire around me. I fell down into that dark chasm, but the flame burned on and on."
— Joshua Graham, explaining how he survived being set on fire and thrown down the Grand Canyon.
"I have been baptised twice, once in water, once in flames. I will carry the fire of The Holy Spirit inside until I stand before my Lord for Judgement."
— Joshua Graham, opening narration of the "Honest Hearts" trailer, Fallout: New Vegas
"Show no mercy to any White Legs we may come across. Make no mistake about why we are here. This is an extermination."
— Joshua Graham, his preferred method of dealing with enemies
"Vaya... con Dios."
—Monsignor Martinez, Los Dias y Las Noches de Monsignor Martinez (King of the Hill)
I am now your leader and your government-but I remain your Father and priest and doctor just as always.
—Father De Klerk, Missionary, on taking command of native partisans. Walter Lord, Lonely Vigil: Coastwatchers of the Solomons.
I will kill. I will let live. I will harm and heal. None will escape me. None will escape my sight.
Be crushed.
I welcome those who have grown old and those who have lost.
Devote yourself to me, learn from me, and obey me.
Rest. Do not forget song, do not forget prayer, and do not forget me.
I am light and relieve you of all your burdens.
Do not pretend. Retribution for forgiveness, betrayal for trust, despair for hope, darkness for light, dark death for the living.
Relief is in my hands. I will add oil to your sins and leave a mark.
Eternal life is given through death.
Ask for forgiveness here. I, the incarnation, will swear.
Kyrie eleison
Be crushed.
I welcome those who have grown old and those who have lost.
Devote yourself to me, learn from me, and obey me.
Rest. Do not forget song, do not forget prayer, and do not forget me.
I am light and relieve you of all your burdens.
Do not pretend. Retribution for forgiveness, betrayal for trust, despair for hope, darkness for light, dark death for the living.
Relief is in my hands. I will add oil to your sins and leave a mark.
Eternal life is given through death.
Ask for forgiveness here. I, the incarnation, will swear.
Kyrie eleison
—Kotomine Kirei, delivering the Prayer of Baptism and exorcising Zouken Matou to death, Fate/stay night
Count de Magpyr: An axe isn't a holy symbol, you silly man!
Mightily Oats: Oh. Then let's make it one.
Mightily Oats: Oh. Then let's make it one.
"The future is in the hands of God, my son... But you'd better run along quickly because the present might well be in my feet."
—Don Camillo, in one of Giovannino Guareschi's Don Camillo short stories.
"Woe to the man who leads my flock astray", says the Lord. [sigh] We were given so much. This land. This life. Our freedom. What's left of it now? Our people... felt abandoned. Grew weary. They needed our help. And we didn't listen. But he did. Told them exactly what they wanted to hear. But those... falsehoods, lies, his... poison. It's driven them from pasture, from the righteous path. Woe to the man who leads my flock astray. For if I am not their shepherd... then... I must be... the wolf.
You need guns to do righteous work, Ajay... for every gun is a bible, for every bullet... a sermon. And for every radio tower that you free from Pagan's lies, I will give you something. A reward. It is the will of God. (presents a handgun to Ajay) Here. This is for the first one.
The power of my FIST compels you!
—Friar Godofredo, Legend Quest
Barry: [shortly after getting his ass kicked for the first time] Who the hell ARE you?
Thaddeus: I am Father Thaddeus Praise-His-Name Godbotherer III. High Priest of the Seventh Day Advent Hedge Devolutionists. Keeper of the Incantations and Steward of the Sunday Coffee Mornings.
Barry: Holy balls, I did my thesis on you!
Thaddeus: I am Father Thaddeus Praise-His-Name Godbotherer III. High Priest of the Seventh Day Advent Hedge Devolutionists. Keeper of the Incantations and Steward of the Sunday Coffee Mornings.
Barry: Holy balls, I did my thesis on you!
Father Gerät: Yes, it has been a long time since we faced the trials of raiders....
Corbettite: Exactly, and are we strong enough to stand against them?
(massive series of explosions)
Father Gerät: ...I meant, will we find the strength to spare any of them?
Corbettite: Exactly, and are we strong enough to stand against them?
(massive series of explosions)
Father Gerät: ...I meant, will we find the strength to spare any of them?
He followed you to Hell once. Now, he is at your side again. His faith in you is unshakable, though he doesn't like being left alone for too long.
—Flavor Text for the Intrepid Deacon, Fallen London
Father Moore: You hit your wife, too? She didn't tell me, Joe. It wasn't hard to figure out, seeing Val come to church with a fresh bruise on his body every week. Do you have any idea what it's like knowing what I know and not being able to do a thing about it because there's a collar around my neck?
Joe: Well, you're not on church grounds, Father. This isn't your problem.
Father Moore: I'm making it my problem.
Joe: I think you'd better leave my house, Father. Now.
Father Moore: I've said what I came to say.
Joe: Well, you're not on church grounds, Father. This isn't your problem.
Father Moore: I'm making it my problem.
Joe: I think you'd better leave my house, Father. Now.
Father Moore: I've said what I came to say.
—The Invisible Man, "Possessed"
I'LL TAKE YOUR CONFESSION NOW!
—Vicar Maximillian DeSoto, The Outer Worlds
"My scars prove my worth!"
"Rise up and strike them down!"
"Our deaths will be magnificent!"
"I will whip the first of you who retreats!"
"I will lead the charge!"
"A chance to prove our worth! Attack!"
"Spit in their faces!"
"Rise up and strike them down!"
"Our deaths will be magnificent!"
"I will whip the first of you who retreats!"
"I will lead the charge!"
"A chance to prove our worth! Attack!"
"Spit in their faces!"
—Imperial Priest, Dawn of War
Half of my brethren have served at the Front. We are armed and will fight to the last gun shell. Look at the monastery’s location. There’s no chance for tanks to move here. You can only get us from above, with aviation. But when the first plane appears over the monastery, the whole world will be told of it in five minutes by Voice of America. So – think for yourselves!
—Abbot Alipiy, Everyday Saints (in response to an attempt to close the monastery)
Father Kornily, bring the axe here, we’ll chop off heads!
—Abbot Alipiy, Everyday Saints (in response to another attempt to close the monastery)
By the name of God, I will smite you!
—Enrico Pucci, JoJo's Bizarre Adventure
Come out, my peaceful brethren! It's time to deliver an ass-whooping of Biblical proportions! It's go time, you pajama wearing pagans!
