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Quotes / Badass Grandpa

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     Anime and Manga 

Malevolent Masked Man: I am surprised. It was quite easy to break into this room. Despite it being the office - or better, the personal room - of the captain-commander of the Gotei 13. Isn't security a bit too soft?
Yamamoto: There is no need to worry. I am here. There is no better security than this.
Bleach (providing the trope page image)

You should learn to respect your elders!
Master Roshi before firing a Kamehameha, Dragon Ball Z: Resurrection ‘F’

"I guess I just get better with age!"

    Fan Works 

I heard the whispers among the crew almost before anyone jumped to accommodate the old man who was, in all likelihood, younger than Whitebeard. The Dark King. Gol D. Roger's right-hand man. Quite possibly the third or fourth strongest senior citizen in the world, behind Whitebeard, Sengoku and Monkey D. Garp. People denied him his discounts at their peril, and anyone with a survival instinct stayed the hell off his lawn.
Ocean Stars Falling, Chapter 20, referring to Silvers Rayleigh.

"As the saying went; always be wary of scarred old men, because the only thing you knew of them was that they were survivors."
Shinji, Thousand Shinji, chapter 15


     Film - Animated 

"Did you just call me old? Well, junebug, I prefer the term experienced!"
Vitruvius, The LEGO Movie

     Film - Live-Action 

"If he joined the Green Berets, there was no way you'd ever get above Colonel. Kurtz knew what he was giving up. The more I read and began to understand, the more I admired him. His family and friends couldn't understand it, and they couldn't talk him out of it. He had to apply three times, and he put up with a ton of shit, but when he threatened to resign, they gave it to him. The next youngest guy in his class was half his age. They must have thought he was some far-out old man humping it over that course. I did it when I was 19 and it damn near wasted me. A tough motherfucker."
Willard, Apocalypse Now

"They messed with the wrong senior citizen."
Tagline for Badass

"I'm thirty years older than you are. I had my back broke once, and my hip twice. And on my worst day I could beat the hell out of you."
Wil Andersen, The Cowboys

Duke: What you lookin' at, old man?
Walt: Ever notice how you come across somebody once in a while you shouldn't have fucked with? That's me.

Dunstan: Tristan, he's 97 years old.
Tristan: Well, that's given him plenty of time to practice, hasn't it?

874 Years Old
2 Feet Tall
Profession: Great Warrior

"Now let me show you how we brought the pain in my day!"


Six Beneficent Winds suddenly remembered, as a child, playing Shibo Yangcong-san with his grandfather. The old man always won. No matter how carefully he’d assembled his strategy, he'd find Grandfather would place a tile quite innocently right in the crucial place just before he could make his big move. The ancestor had spent his whole life playing shibo. The fight was just like that.
"Oh, my," he said.
"That's right," said Mr. Saveloy. "They've had a lifetime's experience of not dying. They've become very good at it."

"Rule One: Never act incautiously when confronting a little bald wrinkly smiling man!
Rule 19: Always remember Rule One and ask yourself,
why was it created in the first place?"
Lu-Tze, Thief of Time

Harry: So if I go back in time and kill my grandfather, what happens?
Vadderung: He beats you senseless, I suspect.

"I'm a has-been, that's true. I'm still out of your league."

     Live-Action TV 

"You're threatening me? That's a laugh... I'm 79 years old. I've got one kidney, one ball and one lung. I take Viagra just to keep from peeing on my shoes, and you're threatening me? Who are you frightening?"
Uncle Lonnie, Action

"Don't ever underestimate the will of a grandfather. We're madmen. We don't give a damn. We got here long before you and they'll be here after. We'll make enemies. We'll break laws. We'll break bones, but you will not mess with the grandchildren."
President Bartlet, The West Wing

"Even now I could cut through the five of you like carving a cake!"
Ser Barristan the Bold, when in a tense standoff against his former (and much younger) partners in the Kingsguard, Game of Thrones


"Old swordsmen get to be that way by being very good."
— "Aged Swordsman," folk song


     Professional Wrestling 

"I may have lost a step along the way, but I'm still two steps ahead of everybody else!"

     Tabletop Games 

"Humies is all weak scum that deserve ta get stomped. 'Cept for One-Eye Yarrick. He knows how ter fight."

     Video Games 

"Come on! When I was your age, we crossed burning sand every day and liked it! Let's go!"
Galuf, Final Fantasy V

"Lang, my liege might forgive your frequent rudeness to him, but I will not. Come, draw your sword. Even though I, Jagen, am old and senile, I will not lose to the likes of you."

Sergeant Eilye Jeyne: If you seriously think this'll be a fight, then maybe you should start thinking about retiring, old man.
Warmaster Forgal Kernsson: Watch it, soldier, or I'll "old man" you into the ground.

"I was too old for this shit fifteen years ago."
William "Bill" Overbeck, Left 4 Dead

"I'd like to join the search, but they told me to stay here because I'm old. Seems nobody's aware of just how strong I really am."
Wess, MOTHER 3

Jack: I didn't have a chance at winning...
Gerald: Of course not, fool. I was a swordsman years before you were born.

"There's no need to coddle me, boy. I may be old, but I'm not helpless."
Cairne Bloodhoof to Warchief Thrall, Warcraft III

The Old Orc: My time has come. I am old. Too old to become chief. It would be wrong for me to take wives at this age. So I will die. Malacath has given me a vision of a glorious death. I am to wait here until it finds me. As you can see, it has not yet arrived.
The Dragonborn: Maybe I could give you the death you seek?
The Old Orc: Perhaps. Are you sure about this?
The Dragonborn: Yes, I am sure. I will give you a good death.


"What I learned today is that really old wizards don't get that way by being easy to kill."
Black Mage, 8-Bit Theater

— A would-be robber put in an ambulance by Patriotism, Shortpacked!

     Web Original 

"Do not think that just because I am old, that I can't whoop your ass, young grasshopper."

Matt: McKellen's well into his 60s in this, and like we said before, he's no muscleman, but he looks like he could just own anybody.
Chris: He is kind of the absolute best guy at being old as hell and still looking like he could destroy whatever he wanted without much effort. He does it as Gandalf, too. If I saw Ian McKellen and Clint Eastwood walking down the street, I would cross to the other side double-quick.
Chris Sims and Matt Wilson on X2: X-Men United

"Had the Brigadier not appeared in Doctor Who or its various spin off shows it would have been a terrible oversight, and some small part of me is so glad it was this show that earned his appearance. Clearly an old man now, Nicholas Courtney has lost none of his gentlemanly manners... In a final punch the air moment that makes you want to reach into the screen and kiss him the Brigadier reveals that his walking cane that he has kept so close throughout this story is a loaded gun and he blows the Bane away!"

"We open the show greeted with the lovely calm visage of one Richard Flair, who isn’t exactly happy about the fact that Eric Bischoff has named himself the special referee of the title match tonight. He daintily explains this to one Christina Hemme, and assures us all that though he and Eric have had difficulties in the past, they will put aside their issues like gentlemen so th…

Wait, did I say calm visage? What I meant to say is that Ric Flair bursts through a random door like a crazy person, turning so red that you could use him to direct ships at sea, and screaming at the top of his lungs about how he’s going to murderize Eric Bischoff and about how he and AJ have been screwed. Then he totters off somewhere to upset small children and get an ice cream cone."
Cewsh Reviews on TNA Against All Odds 2010

"For the Japanese version of Phantasy Star Portable 2, Yum and Sega made both KFC and Pizza Hut (which Yum also owns) an integral part of a fantastical world, billions of light-years away from our own[...] When it came to hawking KFC, though, Yum would not be satisfied with some measly magical boxes and a couple of life-giving chain stores. The Colonel deserves better. The Colonel will not be denied. The Colonel will accept nothing less than total dominance. The Colonel will be an ass-kicking playable character with a supernatural cane, or he will be nothing."

"Possibly best described as Richard Dawkins playing Santa Claus at the office party, Randi’s made a career out of the casually methodical destruction of what he calls "Flim-Flam." Psychics, dowsers, faith healers; all have seen their claims crushed beneath Randi's tiny feet, as he brushes off their tricks and excuses like one would a cider-filled bluebottle from a shoulder at a summer picnic. At this point, Randi — billed as The Amazing Randi, the stage-name from his days as a professional magician — is 35 years into his life-long crusade, almost twice as long as Hydrick's been alive."
Stuart Millard on James Randi, "Fifteen-minute Messiah"


     Western Animation 

"The only wrinkly monster who harasses my family is ME!"
Grunkle Stan, Gravity Falls, "Scary-oke"

Green Lantern: Last time I saw you, you were too young to drive. You look good for a man your age!
Static: The miracles of modern medicine. Sixty-five is the new thirty!
Justice League Unlimited, "The Once And Future Thing, Part 2"

     Real Life 

"Apparently, the rich had had it. They weren't going to take the likes of us anymore. They also were in no mood to respect their former president, Eisenhower, who was nearly booed down until the crowd finally got a look at his scarlet face and raging eyes. One furious look from the ancient lion shut them all up. He said something and then turned his back on a people he'd never much cared for."
Gore Vidal on the 1964 Republican National Convention, Point to Point Navigation


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